is it possible to have our children blessed without having a christening....

[mum2samandalex]

im semi religious dh and his family arent.Cant really decide on god parents to be honest and dh and his family sren't speaking and ruin everything so dont feel like having a christening tbh as something should be a happy event will turn out to be stressful. However its really important to me that they are bleesed.

Yes I think most denominations of church will be able to do you a blessing or thanksgiving service. It's quite common really, as some parents want to leave a christening/baptism as something the child decides for themself when they get older.

Yes, just ask your local vicar/minister. We asked our CofE Vicar and he was very helpful. In our case we are Christians but would like the children to decide about baptism when they are older as AMIS says in her post.

with a blessing what well that involve etc???

Quite often it can be a service which looks just like a christening, but with some slightly different words! But that's sometimes where some of the family eg grandparents are pushing to get it done "properly" and the parents compromise by having a service, and a party afterwards, without it actually being a christening.

But if you just want something more low-key then talk to your local minister/vicar about it, they may be happy to just bring you forward during a normal Sunday service, say a few words and bless the children, maybe say a prayer or two about family life and supporting each other, and then you sit back down again.

Afaik it is a bit like a christening/baptism but without the water part. There are still meaningful words and (afaik) input from the parents. Not sure about potential godparents.

If you don't usually attend a church then I would suggest contacting the local CofE church (or your preferred denomination) and ask if you can have a chat with someone about it. In our church they have a team of ladies who visit families that enquire about baptism/blessings.

p.s. when I say a team only one or two ladies would visit, not dozens!!

This thread is a bit long, but you mind find it useful as some discussion in the latter posts about various options for baptism/thanksgiving etc.

There is a CofE service in the prayer book for a 'thanksgiving for a child', so its would not be an unusual request at all. IIRC, its fairly short, thanks God for the blessing of the child and prayers for God's blsiing on the child. Its a bit nondiscript really.

We had a Thaksgiving/Dedication for both my kids (as onpieceofbrusselsrrut said - we are Christians but will let the kids be baptised as older children/adults). The Vicar was happy for us to use the Prayer book service, and also to add some extra things - we had the Godparents promise to mentor and pray for the children, and we promised to bring them up to know God (as best we could). We also have Godparents - usually called sponsors I think in a thanksgiving, but you don't have to.

The Vicar may want you and your DH to do a short course/workshop on understanding the Christian faith. Probably a few hours, or at least a 'chat' with the vicar. I know our Vicar wants to make sure people understand what they are saying and praying before they stand up in front of people and make promises.

LOL at the thought of opeing your front door to a 'team' of 20 ladies all ready to chat about Thanksgivings

the problem i have is i dont have many friends etc who follow the christian faith or have any belief so im having difficulty in choosing especially as im doing it for these reasons opposed to tradition and having party.Perhaps i need to go back into to church and bring my children properly into the christian community iywim.

Can I just ask, not to be provocative, but for your own reflection, why is it important to you that they are blessed in a church? Are you a believer? I'm not trying to discourage you from doing it, its just that my DH and I are totally convinced by Jesus' claim to be God, and his promise of redemtion, and so we are Christians, raise the DC to know God, are commited to God. If you are not a believer (I'm not saying you aren't!), then why do you want to do it?

I hope that doesn't come accross badly - I don't mean to be rude, and you don't have to answer (obviously!). I'm fairly sure a vicar would not turn you away regardless of your beliefs.

I think that sounds like a good idea. If you find a church that believes and teaches the Bible, you will find people who will be a blessing to your children in a real way. Once you settle in somewhere you might find it easier to decide what to do regarding Thanksgiving. I don't think there is any rush. A Thansgiving (or indeed Baptism) is not magic, and God will know whats in your heart and your children's hearts, regardless of whether they are baptised or whatever.

I think that makes sense - if you get back into going to church and being part of it, then you can think through what it is you want for your children. Having a service is meant to be an expression of what you believe about Christianity and bringing your children up knowing about it. If you're not planning to bring them up to understand Christianity, then having them blessed, or christened, doesn't really mean anything.

Thats fine astrophe no i do believe in god and jesus although i fully admit im not clued up on the bible and i havent attended church since i was young. Alot of my friends dh family thing having a christening and god parents is simply choosing people to look after your children if anything should happen to you and or ensuring your children go to heaven. I mean god does love our children regardless whether theyve been christened or not doesnt he? I want my children to grow up acknowleging god and then its up to them to believe i would love it if they do have faith though as i feel very sad that dh doesnt blelive.

Of course havig a baptism of thanksgiving wont change the way God sees your children. If you have a service of some sort, it can be an important event in terms of reminding you of your commitments/responsibilities, and may be important to your DC in the future as a special thing to look back on...but no magic ticket to heaven, because of course that depends on each child's individual response to God as an adult or older child.

As muminscotland said too, don't rush it, (but look for a church that teaches the Bible (as opposed to one that is basicly a social club for people with 'good morals' - many, many churches are like this) and see how you feel about the thanksgiving or whatever once you have found your feet there.

Where abouts are you (roughly) - I might know of a good church.

(BTW, just so you know, people named Godparents in a church ceremony have no automatic legal responsibility for your DC should you die. You need to make it clear in your will - just saying because you said some friends of your thought godparents=guardians)

(PS, well done for going back to church after some time, I imagine its not an easy thing to do. If you ask around, there is sure to be a church near you running a 'Christianity Explored' course or something similar, which would be a great way to reaquaint yourself with the basics)