Could you please talk me through First Holy Communion.........

[LynetteScavo]

Slowly and clearly.

My Catholic DH is not being helpful.

And our Priest already thinks I'm a nutter.

DS is due to be confirmed this year.

So he needs to be enrolled next Saturday....do I just shove him up to the front of the Church when the priests asks the chldren to be enrolled to come up? I don't need to do anything before this do I?

What else do I need to do?

What is this I hear about boys wearing red ties for thier first Holly Communion?

And why are they having the frist communion on May 3rd - I thought it would be before Easter?

DS has some behaviour problems at times and I'm terrified he will refuse to go up to be enrolled.

I'm in a real state about this to the point where I'm nearly crying.

Please help.

Is he being confirmed or getting his 1st communion or both??? (two different things...)
Every church/parish will do things differently I'm afraid. In ours, the mass of enrollment for 1st communion is fairly informal. The children being enrolled will probably have to all stand up at various times and may be invited up to the altar (as a group) but I doubt if anyone would mind if your ds refused to go up. They are unlikely to be spoken to individually iysim, though they may hand out certificates...

Yes some places get all the boys to wear matching ties, others leave it up to the parents what they wear.

1st communion is nearly always May or June imo....
Hopefully there should be some parents meetings beforehand to explain everything. If there are, try to go along yourself rather than sending your dh. I'm sure there are lots of families where only one parent is Catholic so you won't be alone in not knowing the ropes so to speak...

Sorry, he is only having his first communion, not getting confirmed.

I'm just working my self into a real state over this, sorry.

The other thing is, we didn't have a Catholic wedding, as DH was so embarassed about DS being conceived (out of wedlock), and so we had a civil ceromony.

Our priest knows this - it won't affect our DC's will it?

No it won't. I know plenty of kids being raised as catholics by single mothers/where the parents are divorced, etc. The only thing the priests ever moan (in relation to 1st communion) about is if the parents don't take the kids to mass regularly. The ones I've come across tend to be a pretty liberal bunch, regardless of Vatican pronouncements!

I remember worrying when we were going to see the priest about getting married because dh and I were already living in sin together - but the priest just assumed we had the same address!

Phew!

So when will he have his first confession?

just before FHC - as I recall we went to day before

please don't worry or fret Lynette, it's really not scary at all

Thankyou - I've calmed down a lot now. DH has told me I'm being a loon.

1st confession varies - my ds has already done his (so no doubt will have to go again before his communion!) but in the past it has been closer in time to the 1st communion

Right - what about names -taking saints names?

I was always really anti this, but DS hates his middle name.

Do they still take saints names these days?

that's at confirmation Lynette and it's an added name - doesn't have any legal standing or anything.

The priest or first communion teacher will explain everything on Saturday - don't worry about it!

Oh - Right - Thankyou -I really should talk to DH about this - but it seems he's either at work or asleep these days.

I will continue to faff and worry in this strange world (to me) of Catholicism untill May. Hopefully I shall have it all sussed by the time DS2 has his FHC.

there's nothing to worry about! It should all be explained as it goes along

Has your DS been baptised as a Catholic?

Lynette,

I totally understand. You're worried because you want to get it right.

No-one will say anything bad to you about your ds - they will (or they jolly should!) be delighted to have him, and humbly grateful for your loving support. [Don't think we have a stern face, but I'm making one at them.].

Being registered is fairly unexciting and uneventful.

Just some more Popish Practices no-one else has mentioned: some families have a big party on the day with presents and a fancy tea, and some parishes lay this on for all as a bring-and-share. It's usually called 1st communion breakfast, even though it's nearer lunchtime. Really this dates from the time when the fast was 4 hours, not 1 hour as at present. As with any other event, some families spend more than others.

Not sure why that date, but it might be due to proximity to the feast of Corpus Christi, which is in May. May is also Mary's Month - google for charming Hopkins poem on this.

There was a tradition for boys to wear red ties. My ds did and no-one else was wearing one... much moaning ever since.

Think you have to produce proof of RC baptism - if he hasn't been baptised, it's really not too late so don't panic. No-one should ask about where you were married.

Finally, many BUT NOT ALL Catholics remember their first communion and incredibly happy and joyful. I remember mine that way, and I hope your son's first communion is just as wonderful.

Thankyou, that's helpful (and calming!)

DS is definately Baptised! FIL took charge, and all 3 of my DCs were Baptised at once, so there were 6 Catholic Goparents who all knew exactly what they were doing, so I didn't have to do anything. All my anxiety was focused on the cake, and what dress I would wear.

I've been to a couple of FHC services, but have mostly focused on what the little girls were wearing.

Hopfully I'll know exactly what to do what it's DS2's turn.

So what happens at the service of Reconciliation and first confessions?

"You just do your first confession" is not a real answer, thank you, DH.