How to start explaining religion to a 4 year old - Agnostic household

[cuppycakesong]

Hi everyone. My dc go to a Church of England School and are starting to ask questions about Jesus, Angels and so on. We are agnostic parents but we understand that the school is not; I'd like to say we support the school from that point of view, but to be perfectly honest, it's more a case of tolerating this aspect of an otherwise lovely school. My view on religion is that it is a private matter and will raise my children to be respectful of everybody elses beliefs. I realise that children want answers to their questions and vagueness in not an option. However, I must admit I do not feel prepared to answer some of their questions. Anyway. What I was going to as is, do any of you know of any really good books that give us Agnostic/Atheist parents some good guidelines to talk about this to our children? Thank you all.

Wow, cuppycake, you and I should swap friends - all mine are devout and militant atheists bless 'em.

JaneLumley - I didn't mean reality to the total exclusion of unreality - fairy stories and xmas trees are also necessary in their own way. And like your kids, I grew up in a Christian household, but def not creationist - dad was a chemistry teacher.

I was really trying to address the OP ... quite a lot of 'religious' questions such as 'who made us' simply don't even arise if they have had access to the scientific truth.

The other point I'll add is - which hopefully we all agree - is its important to try to teach kids how to think not what to think. If a DC comes home with, "Mrs X says Y" where Y is something at odds with reality, then - while trying not to undermine Mrs Xs authority too much - some critical thinking probably should be applied early.

Have you tried going to the library to see what is available?

My oldest DD doesnt go to a faith school, but there are children there from a large range of different religions.
I think this is quite helpful, as they are all dealt with equally at school, so none is presented as being any more "right" than the other. I try to mirror that approach at home.

I also use the phrase "some people believe.."

I also try to make sure they have a good grounding in science.

My DD hasnt ever shown any particular interest in religion and because her friends belong to such a varied range of them I dont think she thinks it is strange that we dont really have one. She is still a firm believer in Santa and the Easter Bunny too

A very simple site to explain all major religions is this page

I appreciate everyone's replies but I really want to stress that I do not need help understanding the religions of the world. As an agnostic, I need ideas to satisfy my children's curiosity when asking questions that have been sparked by Christian conversation/actions at school.

My suggestion were both resources to answer your DCs questions-they are not intended for you. Our local library has a huge section on religions/philosophy in the children's section. The web site is one you could use with your DC to find an answer-it is for key stage 1.

Reading the information in that website makes me wonder if I might be a Buddhist instead of an Agnostic!

I thought buddhism wasnt a religion?

Buddhism is rather different to most religions. You don't actually have to believe anything - its something you do.

My DH is a Dawkinsite atheist but practices Buddhist meditation (or tries to).

From where I'm standing I don't see much difference between my Agnostic way of life and Buddhism. I act as a good person because that's all I know, but not because there might be a reward (heaven) or punishment (hell) at the end of the journey. Still, ideas please!!

I went to a C of E school, a catholic sunday school and then a baptists after school group... I'm now a muslim and have been blessed with agnostic parents who brought me up to understand their view as a child. I don't know if my insight is helpful at all but they certainly left it open to me to choose my own way.

In summary I was taught that there is something bigger than us, be it God, a life force or the force of nature and different people think it is different things. My parents didn't know what it was but that it was ok to be unsure as it was a very hard question that lots of people didn't know the answer to. They taught me how to look for answers (useful for anything not just religion) that noone knows everything and that two people might see the same information and think it meant different things. The general philosophy was 'we don't know what it is, but we have some ideas, we know some of the ideas other people have and you might have some other ideas"

Questions like your dc ask were answered with eg. 'christians think that XYZ, I'm not sure, what do you think' they never seemed to mind whatever silly ideas I came up with and would treat them all as valid possibilities and they never but words in my mouth although it is hard with young children who want concrete answers.

I know you said you don't need help understanding world religions but look at this children's book anyway www.amazon.co.uk/All-Kinds-Beliefs-Lift-Flap/dp/1857075056/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231670311 &sr=1-1

it doesn't have a lot of facts but is good from the 'different people do things different ways and they are all ok' point of view and is a lift the flap book and suitable for early school age (or even preschool) children.

Good luck

I'm going to go with the 'different stories' approach ie there are lots of different stories that are special to different people, you know, like Father Christmas etc. And (as DS gets older) it's not nice to tell the little kids that FC isn't real, and it's polite not to go on and on at other people that their story people aren't real either. Just let them get on with it and don't worry about it.

Ummadam, I really like your answer, thank you. I'm intrigued about your religious journey but that's another thread ;-). Thank you also for the book recommendation, I actually think I'm going to buy it.

I have continued researching on this. I find that to get closer to what I want, I do not need a book explaining the different religions, because such a book does not offer an extremely important stance - the non religious one. I am now looking into Evolution books. The whole debate for me is not at all about the different religions, it is about 'creationism' vs 'evolution'. So I guess if anyone knows of great books about evolution that are suitable for a 5 year old, I'd be most grateful. In the meantime, I have found this:skepchick.org/blog/?p=5248

Clearly I'm the only one reading this thread but just in case anyone's interested, I have found something very interesting and, I believe, exactly what I was looking for. I won't know for sure until I read it but so far it sounds great: 'Maybe Right, Maybe Wrong': A Guide for Young Thinkers (Paperback)
by Dan Barker.
www.amazon.com/Maybe-Right-Wrong-Guide-Thinkers/dp/0879757310/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_t op

I'm reading

Here are the links you've mentioned - the second one looks particularly interesting -

Evolution books for kids and Maybe Right, Maybe Wrong: A Guide for Young Thinkers