Catholic Penitential Service

[JuniorH]

I've recently started attending mass again and I've been dreading confession.

My parish is having a penitential service tonight and I'm on the verge of chickening out!

I'm embarrassed because it's been about a decade since I went, I don't know what to confess and I don't remember what to say and might not remember the prayers for my penance. Also, I think they do it 'face to face' now.

Do I have to 'confess' that I have a seven year old son who isn't baptised, another one on the way and DP and I have still not got round to getting married! I'm not sure what the church's view on this would be although I feel we've been together longer that some people are married and are good parents.

I was hoping someone might have some advice?

Thanks
S x

I haven't been for a lot longer than you. I have never really adjusted to the idea of confession on demand iyswim, though there have been some wonderfully healing moments in my life when I have confessed informally because something was weighing on my mind, and received a lot of help from the priest.

I imagine, technically, you should confess those things you mentioned but I prefer to think of confession as a chance to get off your soul the things that are actually bothering you. What in your heart of hearts would you like to unburden yourself of? Would there be an opportunity to talk things through with the priest as opposed to undergoing formal confession?

I went last night to one of these. A lot depends on who you are confessing to. Our parish priest is usually so delighted to see Catholics in confession that he is very understanding and kind. The only thing I don't talk about is our use of family planning but I don't know any Catholics who do mention this.

The priest I saw last night, however, was of the lean, asecetic, monastic type and he gave me a hard time for admitting that I had missed Mass without good cause. I could have tried to explain what it's like trying to drag a tired 10-year old out when she wants to stay in and watch cartoons or play with her friends, but I knew there was no point--not with him.

If I were you, I'd perhaps ask some parishioners about the relative 'styles' of the priests (there are usually several at penitential services so you can choose who you want to see). You want someone who's had experience of family-oriented parishes and understands life on the 'outside'.