question about confession for catholics

[terrifiedofit]

I want to go to confession before Christmas but haven?t been for years. My dd had her first confession and communion last year, and I want to set a good example for her, but I am completely terrified of going. I actually know our priest reasonably well which is making it harder ? usually a visiting priest comes to do confessions but my dd refuses to go to anyone she doesn?t know ? so I am going to have to bite the bullet and go to our parish priest.

The problem is that apart from the very first time as a child, which I can barely remember, and was in the 1970?s (I?m that old!) the handful of times I have ?done? confession have been fairly informal occasions that rise out of conversations with the priest.

Now I want to go to a proper traditional confession and feel it is so long since I have been I don?t know how to do it?has it changed? is it still ? sign of the cross ? bless me father for I have sinned it is xxx years since my last confession? ? it seems so formulaic? The sort of thing you tell children to say but then say something more sophisticated yourself ? can any of you regular confession-goes talk me through it?

Thanks?

.

Yep, that's about right. Same stuff.

Did your dd make her first confession(reconcilliation now) with school? If so, why not ask the sacramental co-ordinator at the school what they would advise.

Also, we were told that it's not a case of 'fessing up everything. It's more to do with making your peace with God (hence reconcilliation) so it gives you an opportunity to 'examine your conscience' but you only need to mention something small to the priest (unless you need an in depth discussion because you've done something terrible and would like to get it off your chest). Receive your penance and privately be truly sorry and intend to be a better person from that point on.

That's my understanding of it hope it helps a bit.

Thanks Juule,

One thing that has put me off in the past is that once a priest complained that the things I wanted to confess where not specific enough and I felt under pressure to make things up (!). The problem is the things that really worry me ? and I feel are the things that really weigh on my conscience ? are the things I haven?t done ? not the things I have done (which tend to be sorted out quite quickly) - and it is difficult to be specific about things I haven?t done ? I can?t say I haven?t done xxx so many times and the last time I didn?t do it was on Friday ? I just simply haven?t done it. Do you think I would be in trouble for been too general again. I wish I could go anonymously but dd is insistent that she will only go to the parish priest.

The Catechist who prepared the children for first communion has moved unfortunately.

Could you just bring your dd to the parish priest, and go another time yourself, to a different priest?

I do go to confession, but only about once a year. And yes I do feel so childish doing the whole "bless me father for I have sinned....etc." It feels like I'm about to list the sins of my childhood again, (I was fighting with my sister, I didn't do as my mammy told me ).
You could also check out a reconcillation service in local churches, which give an opportunity for more relaxed confessions, more of a chat really.
And now you've mentioned it, I'll have to go too. I'd forgotten all about it.

I was hoping that they would arrange a visiting priest for one session - that often happens in Lent and Advent - but not this year. If they had done I would have gone then - but the problem is setting an example for dd. If she goes, I also need to be seen to go, and I am rather short of time for travelling to other churches in the next few days (we live in a small rural parish). It's another case where I have to overcome my fear in order not to pass it on to my dd.

Terrified -"priest complained that the things I wanted to confess where not specific enough"
I think that's very odd. Whenever I've gone with my children I've been very vague in what I've said. Priest never commented.
Just go to your normal priest, be as unspecific as you want to be and take no notice if the priest comments.
If he does comment go to a different priest next time.
Good luck.

I have been where you're at, terrified.

Husband was converting to Catholicism and whilst I agreed to go to the Church with him I had absolutely no intention of joining in.

In the event the priest came out to meet us, took my hand and led me off with him! I was too polite to say well actually I go to a Methodist Church now! When I said it was 18years since my last confession he just said "Wow, Welcome back" and seemed genuinely pleased.

It was the best thing that has ever happened to me, I felt an intense peace that lasted for about two years and that I can still call on now. Most priests have counselling qualifications now, do not be afraid!

Let us know how you get on.

Message withdrawn

That's lovely!

Wonder if he'd have been as cool about 'fag and a G&T'?

I'd approach the priest and tell him your really interested in taking the sacrement but need some guidance on how and what to do. They know the score, he know's he doesn't see you there every week and is in fact probably used to this happening.

Think of all the couples who get married, want a child baptising, experience a berevement - bet most of them shuffle in looking awkward and lost.

Well, I went ? I explained it was a long time (about 5yr) since I last went ? and that I was no good at it ? he was fine with that ? but ? I distinctly had the impression that he didn?t approve of my ?sins? ? that they weren?t good enough ? or bad enough. The thing is these are the things that are important to me and get in the way of my relationship with God and my (very flawed) ability to live according to the Gospel. It is mainly things I haven?t done ? not things I have done. I just wish that having plucked up the courage to go they would take me seriously.

Dd was fine with hers btw ? and came out smiling