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Original poster

sign of peace in the Catholic Mass

43 replies

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 12/12/2008 09:51

Am a very infrequent goer to Mass but when I do go I rather dread the bit where the priests says 'let us offer each of the sign of peace' - I just rather stiffly shake the next persons hand, but actually I find it excruciatingly uncomfortable...I always rather hope they'll skip that bit. Is it just me ? Did they always do this ? I can't remember it from childhood

OP posts:

OhYouMerryMerryKitten · 12/12/2008 09:54

It has been done since I was a child. I used to really dislike it and still have a problem when people are obviously coughing and full of cold but apart from that I'm much more comfortable with it now.

LilRedWG · 12/12/2008 09:55

This is done in CofE services too. I also find it uncomfotable. I rarely go to church but when I do I like to sit quietly and think. I don't remember it from childhood either.

Original poster

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 12/12/2008 09:55

I'm prob a lot older than you,so it seems a 'modern' thing to me ! I'm not a cold fish but if I don't know the people it all seems a bit difficult

OP posts:

MaryBeWaiting · 12/12/2008 10:05

It came in with Vatican 2 and the English Novus Ordo Mass.

juuule · 12/12/2008 10:09

No they didn't always do this and it still feels quite new to me, too.
I was very uncomfortable with it for a long time but have got used to it now and think it's probably quite a good thing to encourage people to notice others around them. Children seem to love it.

LilRedWG · 12/12/2008 10:19

First time I experienced it was in a Southern Baptist church in the bible belt. At the time I thought, "Bloody Americans".

Nemostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 12/12/2008 10:21

have always done it in churchs I have gone to
Close family and friends also exchange hugs and kisses

BlueCowNowIsLowingAndDCAwake · 12/12/2008 10:39

I thought it had always been there?! Just a quick handshake will do for anyone behind or in front of you! Bit of a snog for dh, hug for dc but that's just me!

Original poster

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 12/12/2008 14:04

! am going with my dad to Midnight Mass this year so that's ok,will be able to hug him and politely shake hands with others. My granny who only held with proper Latin Mass would not like the touching bit at all.

OP posts:

unconfirmed · 12/12/2008 16:01

I'm 32 and they've always done it as long as I can remember. Used to find it excruciating as a child but now I'm not bothered. Actually I like it because in our church all the elderly ladies make a big fuss of my children and pat them on the head and things. They probably find it excruciating...

snowy91 · 12/12/2008 21:48

i go to an anglican church and we do 'peace' on communion serivces once a month.....i'm 17 and been going all my life there's a crowd of young people and we usually hug/shake hands with each other.....some of the older 'regulars' will come shake hands which is akward and occasionally my mum will come over but we still find it quite akward...
was nice at my confirmation as i could thank people being there and i got to hug 'peace' to my dad who isn't a christian who came to support me.....

Fivesetsofschoolfees · 13/12/2008 16:17

The Peace is my favourite part of communion. The Christian faith is about relationships - up and across.

Tommy · 13/12/2008 16:36

it's only shaking hands with people!!!!
Wouldn't you do that anyway???

OP - perhaps if you were more of a frequent goer to mass, you'd get used to it

Jux · 13/12/2008 17:11

I know what you mean. I grew up without it, and it does happen at a time when you are supposed to be concentrating on being devotional as far as I can remember. My mum absolutely loathes it and kneels and makes it quite clear she is praying hard before it gets there, hoping that this will discourage people (doesn't always work!).

I got used to it - I think I was in my late teens/20s when it started. I sang in the choir so we were up in the choir loft and only had to grin, nod and whisper at each other, so it wasn't much of a shock really.

I lapsed a long time ago, but dd sings in our local CofE choir, so I sometimes go to Mass there. I don't have a problem with the Peace, it seems rather nice.

MaryBeWaiting · 13/12/2008 22:29

The C of E have it in a more sensible place, before the consecration.

Original poster

christMAScomesbutonceayear · 14/12/2008 08:40

I certaily don't mind shaking hands ordinarily,it's just in the Mass,the whole feeling of awkwardness - probably my fault though...and yes, maybe I should go more often Tommy

OP posts:

rachw1 · 14/12/2008 21:55

This discussion reminded me of this cartoon: www.cartoonchurch.com/content/cc/the-peace/

My daughter (who sings in the choir) likes to hurtle out and shake hands with as many people as possible. I think it is nice especially if there is someone new sat nearby as it's a chance to say hello and welcome without looking like you are waiting to pounce

MaryBeWaiting · 14/12/2008 22:40

rachw1 - I've seen that cartoon before, but I'm a BIG fan of Dave Walker. Its brilliant, isn't it?

For me, the thing about the peace is that its SHARING with the people around you. Otherwise worship can be a bit "between you and God". During that handshake you are acknowledging that the person next to you is also a Christian, and is also seeking God. So yes, it may be uncomfortable, but it also may be the only time you GREET that person either during or after the service. And lets face it, it ought to be about fellowship, shouldn't it, otherwise, why not just worship at home????

jollyoldstnickschick · 14/12/2008 22:44

At mass in our rather cold church lots of people seemed to go out of their way to offer me the sign of peace at our sons communion my dh found out why - apparently i have very warm soft hands lolol (an elderly man told him this lol)

OhYouMerryMerryKitten · 14/12/2008 22:47

jollyold - at the moment I feel a bit leech like during the sign of peace. My hands are so cold and achy and the warmth from other people is really rather nice.

VivaLaPotPourri · 14/12/2008 22:47

oooh, I find it awkward too. Left & right, ok. But do I turn around? What if I offer my hand and they don't see? Once you make eye contact, there's no going back - no matter how far you have to stretch! But I am a very shy person.

TipsyFairydifferentID · 14/12/2008 22:49

I usually find if someone is out of comfortable reach, than a nod and a whispered "Peace be with you" is sufficient, but if they are withiong comfortable disatnce a hand should be offered. It's a way of breaking down barriers.

LuLuMacGloo · 14/12/2008 22:57

I'm 40 and it was never a feature of interminable childhood masses. As I remember it came in around the time of folk guitars, open confession and renderings of 'Our God Reigns...'. I was a teenager at the time and found it horribly embarrassing.

I've long lasped but still attend occasionally with my Mum. I have grown not to mind. I see it as extending a hand to the wider community of strangers which can't be a bad thing in this 'nuclear family' age.

TheFallenMadonna · 14/12/2008 23:02

I remember it from when I was a child. I like it. Church is about community surely? Not just about sitting quietly and thinking.

Tommy · 15/12/2008 10:03

like the cartoon

we have a lovely photo from our wedding at the sign of peace taken from the organ loft - everyone is turning round and smiling

It's what church is all about.

At our church the priest gets us all to turn round and say hello at the beginning of mass as well as shaking hands a bit later - I think all you non-shakers would think we were all a bit mad....

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