Want to return to church, but the last time we went dd shouted "I hate church so much" in the middle of silent prayer!

[Pawslikepaddington]

I just don't know how to attend church without dreading it, as dd (4.8) really does not enjoy it, and begs to go home or complains of boredom all the way through. All the other children are always so well behaved-I know I should have taken her from birth, but wasn't able to. She is starting to show an interest since attending a c of e school, and wants "baby jesus to be one of my friends", but can't stand the actual church attendance. I was brought up in the methodist faith, but don't feel it does "deep" enough if that makes sense-are there other denominations that do?

can she not attend the Sunday school??

Can you find a church in your area which has active groups for children during the service? That way she can spend time doing things aimed at her stage of development, rather than sitting through things like silent prayer and long sermons which are not really aimed at children.

You may have to try a few churches before you find one that suits your spirituality and also has groups she'll enjoy, but it's worth looking. Do you have an option of going without her to try some out? Or would she see it as an adventure to try different ones and give them marks out of 10?

There are loads of different kinds of churches out there - different denominations, and even within a denomination they can be very different just depending on the clergy and the kinds of people who go there - so i'm sure you'll be able to find one which works for you both.

Sunday school was once a month, and she was often the only child under 10 so I used to have to miss the service to sit with her, which was rather counter-productive. Do you think we should try a different church instead?

Sunday school once a month!! Goodness ours is every week - except for the Family Service once a month (which is aimed at the kids) and during August (school holidays) - when the services are Family Communion services - again aimed to keep the kids busy.

Sorry, x-post! There is a church with links to her school, so may try that this sunday-it will be more child friendly if it is the school church won't it?

if she's at a c of e school, might be worth seeing where her classmates go. Might be more children orientated somewhere else. Sorry you don't feel happy with the methodists! I don't go there, but I know they do great junior church stuff round here.

Ours yelled 'I don't want to be in this terrible castle' very loudly at last years christmas service. He was only 3 at the time. Much more verbal now...

I've been a bit blinkered haven't I? I didn't realise some did sunday school every week! Am much more excited about this now!!

Thank goodness other children say things that make you blush-the other little girl in the church had just asked her mum when they could go to Jerusalem to be closer to god! I felt dreadful! So some churches do let them be a little more vocal and disturbing until sunday school starts? She is not a quiet child by nature, and she does tone it down at church, but still does stage whispers occasionally and things, which sound so loud in a silent church!

Methodists are great, it's just not what I am looking for spiritually. Got to go, I have class, but will be back. We should start a church score book shouldn't we?

Our Catholic church has 'Little Church' for under 7's(IIRC).
Kids say odd things at the wrong times...you have to smile.

Sunday school varies a lot (and is often these days labelled as Children's Groups or something else) - but lots of churches will have it every week, or as FAQ says all but one Sunday a month. Some of them meet from the start of the service then the children come back for communion and the last hymn, others stay for the first part of the service then go out - it depends a bit on the denomination what pattern works for their services. Starting with the one attached to her school sounds like a good plan - they are likely to have a lot for children. I'm sure there'll be one out there which you'll settle into no problem!

Try the church attached to her school but don't be surprised if there are not many children there or if it isn't that geared up for little ones. The church attached to a school is the foundation school and usually the vicar has to be on the board of governors and they have to continue links with the school, do assembly and encourage community participation. However I have known this to be a mixed bag. Some churches do it really well - as at the last school I worked in. Others don't and the clergy find children a bit bewildering though the little old ladies smile nicely at them.

Dd1 shouted 'Satan!' in the middle of a church service when she was first learning to speak. I think everyone needs a sacreligious child anecdote, so you've done people a favour

Sunday school only once a month? blimey.

Thank you all-am going to give school's church a try on Sunday! Nicola

paws - not in a trillion years could i get DD (7 and an avowed atheist) to go to church. or i could, but it would be a tense time and definitely ruin it for me! you are doing well!! good luck with sunday school!

ps i now attend quaker meetings and am leaving DD to make up her mind when she's older. i absolutely love them as there is such depth in the silence, somehow. definitely not a place for DD though