I think I am being called into ministry and I am scared and very emotional

[exploringmyvocation]

I am a regular lurker on mn but have namechanged here as only talked to dh about this and don't want to let anyone else in rl know as yet.

For the last few years I have had this nagging inside me that I should be exploring the possibility of ordained ministry. I have tried to put it away and ignore it as I just didn't think (and still don't) that i could do this - I just don't think I am good enough. But the feeling just won't go away and the more I pray, the stronger it gets. Last night I was having some quiet time when i had the strongest sense that now was the time to persue it - that i could not ignore it any longer. I talked to dh about it (in a midst of tears) and he was not at all surprised - he has joking suggested it in the past. He is himself an ordinand at present. I am talking to my vicar later on today.

I am scared and want to do this slowly and really work this out. I can't get away from this feeling of being slowly nudged into this but I have no idea if I could actually do it. I really came on here for some anonymous support, advice and really to chat to others who may have gone through a similar experience - esp those who have young children and family commitments. Sorry about the garbled OP - very emotional and all over the place today.

I am sure that talking to your vicar today will help.

As you will know, this is not a "rush job", it's not like you will be in the pulpit next week. Take it all slowly and pray for guidance. There's no rush, take it a day at a time.

Any new direction in life is scary, (going through one myself, though not job related). The future is an unknown quantity, but with guidance and prayer you can sort it out.

I'm sure Revjustabout, Mary BS and Clockface will be about later. If not I'll let them know. If God calls you He will also supply the power. Thank Him for speaking to you clearly and carefully open the door of the next stage, after speaking to your vicar.
Come over onto the prayer thread and let us know what your particular prayer needs are, step by step.

of course you can, it's not as if you're doing it alone

My dh has been nudged by God a month ago - luckily no timescale involved but I'm guessing he will be nudged again in ten years or so (he just qualified as a local preacher and that took 5 years and many thousands of words/exercises/assessments)

Thank you DutchOma. Am actually feeling more calm about it now. Having tried to quell it for so long, it feels good to have finally said it out loud and actually accept what God may be asking me to do. I am waiting for my vicar to call. It's a strange situation as we moved about three months ago so this is a new church and I don't know the vicar that well, but I'm sure talking to him will be of help.

It's got to be worth asking. The process is a long one, and there will be plenty of time to ask, reflect, pray, get wise advice, try it out...and every chance of success if that is your vocation. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I say.

I can really sympathise with how you are feeling. So much of what you are saying is what I said at the time too - except no-one ever thought I was suitable for ministry! You might find your DH was only half-joking when he suggested it before...

I am now in my third year of training as a Reader. I have a daughter of 9 and a son of 7 (who has Asperger Syndrome), and I also work part time.

I will try to write more later - there's a service followed by meal at church tonight, so am busy feeding the kids, getting DH's dinner ready etc. If you want to email me:

suttonmb
at
talktalk
dot
net

thanks so much MBW and big respect to you - what a busy life! One of the reasons I have held back for so long is not only that I really don't know whether I would be able to do the 'job' justice but also that others will think I was being ridiculous for even considering it. Last night seemed to be the turning point for me, when I finally realised that the opinion of God is the only one that really matters. The more I think and pray about it, the more I know i will do whatever it is i am called to do. Will email you later if you don't mind - am also feeding kids and rushing off to service later!!