What would you do if your dc didn't want to go to church?

[beansmum]

ds is 4. I left a church I wasn't happy with a few months ago and haven't really found anywhere else. There are a couple of churches that I like but they have hardly any children, so the few that are there just sit in the service. ds has said he doesn't want to go to church tomorrow, and tbh I don't really get anything out of it when he is bored and whiny and fidgeting around the whole time.

Is there any solution? Do I just keep dragging him along, or leave him with someone if I can, or stay at home with him? It's only a short term problem, we're moving soon, but I'd like to be able to go to church over Christmas.

beansmum, just wanted to say, it will get better in a few months. 4 is really quite young to sit through a service (I know I did it with DT's) but it will get more interesting. Sorry you got such a pasting from some posters, maybe have a look at some of the sunday school websites and print off some pictures etc relevant to the sermon

The few times we had to go to a church for weddings/christenings and took DD with, we took lollipops - she loves them, keeps her mouth busy (less talking), and no crumbs/noise to disturb others.

Alternatively, and especially since this is "only a short term problem", leave him with someone when you go on Sundays

Did I get a pasting? I didn't notice, I thought everyone was arguing with each other and pretty much ignoring me!

I've got some small cotton bags left over from ds's birthday, I'll put a few bits in one and take that along next time and see how it goes. It could be a long term problem, I'm just hoping we find somewhere a bit family friendly (which also suits me) once we move.

Devoutsceptic - how sad that you would be disappointed in your child just because they chose to believe something different to you.
My opinions are not identical to my Mum's and I don't see it as a problem!
Surely you would not have failed but succeeded by bringing them up to be able to choose their own lives Beans - hope you find the smaller family friendly Church a good option and good luck with finding a new Church to suit you when you move.
Sure if you say the town various MNers may be able to recommend something

going to church was like having a bath at that age - i dont want to respomse it met with "tough"

I can't understand how going to church is like having a bath.

No baths ever >> stinky, unhygienic child

No church ever >> err... normal healthy child, just not going to church

Ten reasons why I never wash:

1. I was made to wash as a child
2. People who wash are hypocrites - they reckon they are cleaner than other people
3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I could never decide which one was right
4. I used to wash, but it got so boring so I stopped
5. I still wash on special occasions
6. None of my friends wash
7. I am still young - when I am older and have got a bit dirtier, I might start washing
8. I really don't have the time
9. The bathroom's never warm enough
10. People who make soap are only after your money.

I still don't get it. Basically, you all think I'm doing something wrong, but all for different reasons?

I think you're doing fine Beans in principle. You just need to find the right place for you both

Well, welcome to parenting beansmum. that's how it goes, everytone thinks you are doing it wrong but for different reasons.

Amerryscot, this is why atheist rarely bother arguing with devout churchgoers. They have the ultimate answer for everything - "Because God Said So". If you don't believe in god, there is absolutely no point discussing religion with someone who likens not taking a child to church to neglect. You will both end up laughing at each other.

beansmum - I don't think you are doing anything wrong. It is completely natural for any parent to expect/hope/wish her children to follow in her footsteps, and religion (or lack thereof) is part of that heritage.

My only attempt at a debate on this thread was in response ReallyTired's assertion that has 4 year old DS had spiritual needs that were met at the church. She wasn't giving any straight answers, so we didn't even have a debate.

If you feel your 4 yr old DS has spiritual needs, I'd be interested to talk to you about why you think so. Only from a point of view of intellectual curiousity, though, not to harass you because you are a churchgoer.