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Original poster

Baptism donation - how much should we give?

19 replies

JessJess3908 · 19/11/2008 21:41

How much did you donate to your church for performing your child's baptism? I know it's supposed to be however much we can afford but I don't want to give an amount that's wildly off the mark.

Thanks

OP posts:
missmama · 19/11/2008 21:53

I think our church expects £40 per child now.

MeAndB · 20/11/2008 16:08

I never had to pay to be baptised, and I never had to pay towards having my daughter dedicated. I never realised anyone had to pay, Im shocked!

northeastvicar · 20/11/2008 21:59

In the Church of England baptisms (christenings) are certainly free. While your church would no doubt welcome a donation there is no expectation of it being any particular amount, or indeed any expectation that you will give anything at all.

My church normally has a collection plate at the back (or when the baptism takes place during the main morning service, the plate is passed around in the middle of the service as usual) so the parents or any of their friends and family may contribute (or not) as they feel moved. Sometimes people send us a thank you letter and a cheque after the event - but that's a nice surprise rather than an expectation.

BoffinMum · 20/11/2008 22:02

I paid £150 to a posh church in London, for two children. Felt a bit fleeced, actually.

northeastvicar · 20/11/2008 22:06

boffinmum - I don't blame you! did they ask you to pay that? Shouldn't have done in the CofE

MostlySockPuppets · 20/11/2008 22:07

Form suggested £20, we gave £50.

BoffinMum · 20/11/2008 22:13

Kind of hinted strongly so we would feel tight fisted if we didn't. Not good.

We are all generally feeling a bit let down by the C of E these days, might I add. Started when the local vicar stood up at the school Easter service and told all the mums off for working, because 'we were all doing it out of greed to buy Playstations'.

(It's all right for him - he lives in a lovely period 6-bed vicarage in a nice village other people are more or less paying for! The rest of us have to do it the hard way if we want a roof over our heads in this area ...)

Then lots of tutting at my children during family service at which only two families ever attended, including us, from the elderly 'God Squad' who dominate the place.

Voice of God told me very clearly, "You don't have to go to church if it makes you upset". So we stopped.

northeastvicar · 20/11/2008 22:28

Sounds like you've done the right thing for your own peace of mind, though it's a shame that the tutting disapprovers win and the church loses out on not having you. I despair of my colleagues sometimes... and of those who can't cope with presence of children enjoying themselves in church (probably because they weren't allowed to when they were small).

We have the odd one or two like that in our congregation, but mostly people are very welcoming. There's a lovely moment towards the end of our service when the younger children all come running up the central aisle to show me what they've been making or drawing in sunday school, and everyone seems to appreciate seeing them and having them there.

hf128219 · 20/11/2008 22:32

I donated £80. There was never any talk of money - just a discrete basket after the service.

BoffinMum · 20/11/2008 22:37

I wish you were our vicar!

My children (age 3 and 6) weren't being noisy or disturbing, they were mainly just a bit behind on the prayers with late Amens, accidentally dropping the odd book and whispering to me to ask for their juice. Normal stuff, quite subdued for the age group actually.

I despair too, btw, but things will surely change and people will become more tolerant of each other. Especially with nice sensible vicars around to balance things up.

BTW sorry for brief hijack everyone.

ChippyMinton · 20/11/2008 22:40

Was this RC? DH gave the priest £100 when our three were baptised. I think he reckoned on £50 per child and a three-for-two special offer!

hf128219 · 21/11/2008 07:15

RC for me.

PerkinWarbeck · 21/11/2008 07:44

we gave quite a lot - £150. But it was a private service just for us, when I know some churches do "job lots" on baptisms. And it was a very old London central church, needing constant repairs to keep it open to the public.

there was no suggestion of any donation from the priest, however.

hf128219 · 21/11/2008 08:21

Ours was a private service too. I know that the godparents and grandparents put a donation in too.

sparklestickchick · 21/11/2008 09:03

ours was a private baptism and we gave the priest a thankyou card with £100 in (we had 3 boys baptised at the same time!!!)much later after the priest had remarked several times was i going to try for a girl i was drining with my girly friends and this topic came up -turns out they gave £10 per child!!!! no wonder the priest was pushing me for more babies!!!

jcscot · 21/11/2008 09:18

RC here - we gave £50.

purpleflower · 21/11/2008 09:33

C of E and it was just for us. Money was never mentioned at all, there was just a discrete pot at the back. DP put in I think £30 but I saw my family put in quite a lot. I think they got at least £200 pound that day and my brother had paid over £500 a month earlier to get married . I think they did quite well from us

Kagey · 21/11/2008 13:06

RC - £50, maybe should have given more but felt that was plenty!

tassisssss · 21/11/2008 13:11

No donations expected at the Church of Scotland I attend!

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