Does anyone have a daily meditation practice? Would anyone like one but needs motivation?

[mangolassi]

Ooh, I feel all shy

I am agnostic and generally confused about spiritual things, but after recovering from a bout of pnd found a great book - The Mindful Way Through Depression. It has a programme of daily meditation, and I've tried in the past, but it's soooo hard to stick to with no support.

The meditation style in the book is 'western insight' - basically vipassana with the Buddhism taken out - but it would be great to have a thread for anyone trying to get started with daily practice, whatever kind of meditation appeals. Even better if there's anyone who actually has a daily practice already

hello girls!
mango, good to hear from you. i just found BFM an excellent starting-point, is all - i didn't read it with the intention of 'learning about buddhism', i just loved the fact that it spoke to me in my present circs so well. but i agree that there are many other books around which are more explicit on the actual details of buddhism - indeed, she quotes from them throughout the book and gives ideas on further reading (from memory).
kids - hats off to you for having produced such fantastic, altruistic, idealistic children. i agree that it must make fitting into our selfish and consumer-obsessed society very hard - but they are going to grow into just the sort of adults that are needed to try to reverse the depressing societal trends of recent decades!
must get back to work
hope everyone is well xxx

I see what you mean, kids - when I do get back to the UK there are conversations about 'stuff' that just baffle me, although usually blokes are worse than my women friends. Have you looked into the possibilities of more 'alternative' schooling (I don't know, maybe Montessori or something?) where they might find it easier to meet people on their wavelength?
Otoh, being a teenager just sucks to some extent, doesn't it?

yes kids i am sure you've considered steiner schooling too - i guess there are very few around though, and maybe none in your area?

HI All
KIds - best of luck in your exam today...shall be sending positive vibes.

Mango - yes I see what you mean about BFM but what I like about both BFM books is that they deal with the questions that I"m trying to tackle in RL but from a Buddhist perspective. From that they've provided me with a good starting point to find out more about Buddhism.

Katie has your BFM -Lingering arrived yet?

Finally a simple question..... how did everyone learn to meditate? Was it from a book or from a class. I manage just a simple breathing meditation ( with constant interruptions of monkey mind) but would be interested in learning about the other sorts - particularly walking meditation.

BTW with this lovely weather it's nice to meditate in the garden first thing in the morning.

HOpe you're all keeping well. How's the urban retreat going? I completely forgot about it!!! (What does that say about me?)

Forgot to say --- Kids - I was really interested in what you've been saying in raising anti-materialist kids. Please give advice on how to do it! -especially when my exP showers DD with loads of presents out of guilt. (Grotesque).

As for your DC's they sound like absolutely wonderful kids who will grow up to be such interesting adults- you must be so proud.

Didn't mean to blow my kids' trumpet, feeling a bit embarrassed about that now. They are obviously as foul as all other kids at times!! but if I am honest, their attitude in general is pretty exceptional as far as I can see.I have looked at alternative schooling but my conflict there is the fact that there is a real world out there that they will have to live with. Even if f they emigrate they will be the 'odd ones' as a foreigner so they'd better learn to deal with it now!
I currently try to encourage hobbies along the 'right' lines - their ideas, though - like being involved in St John'a ambulance, a martial art that has a lot of conflict avoiding philosophy etc. One can't but try!
Thanks for exam wishes. The shredded me so let's not hold any breaths. Got the last copy of BFM in London, though - agree with above comments but just a useful additional application, I'd say.

Quick question....
did anyone do the Urban Retreat organised by FWBO?
IF so what was it like?

HOpe all are well and enjoying the lovely weather.

Katie -did you get the new BFM - lingering book - what do you think? I'm really enjoying it but am only half way through.

hello everyone, hello pinkfluffy! NO i haven't received lingering questions book yet - am a teeny bit worried that it's suddenly been axed/thrown out of print too, despite having just come onto the market!! will let you know when i do. am awaiting another book (consumer guilt pang alert) from amazon too, which was featured heavily in the urban retreat webpages - 'life with full attention' or some such (peanut will know) by someone who gave a very very good talk on the site about living mindfully, but whose long and meandering buddhist name i cannot possibly recall, being nearly 40, memory not what it used to be and all that, and a bit jaded with those names to be honest!!
so - yes, i did attempt the urban retreat to some extent, buddied by our very own peanut brittle, though i didn't manage to actually get to the FWBO group physically on either weekend. that is why i have been (uncharacteristically) quiet on here i guess! it was very useful, all in all. there were lots of audio and video links posted which are all still on the site and some of which were very inspiring (a couple were a bit dull) - i only listened to three or four but they were v worthwhile.
mindfulness still a real struggle at times, but at least i notice when i am straying from the present - which is something, i guess. controlling emotion still hard too - had a couple of low days on fri and sat; got angry with DH on saturday evening for a pretty trivial reason - but again, at least i KNOW i am doing these things and, pretty much, WHY, and am trying to bring the 'light of consciousness' to shine on the murky depths of my (annoying, over-active, self-defeating) mind!
quaker meeting a pleasure yesterday morning, and a really lovely meditation meeting at mine today, with some 'new blood' which added to the depth of the meditation and to the discussion afterwards, which i really enjoyed.
hope everyone is really well. any thoughts about taraloka in sept pinkfluffy? would be SO nice to see you there.
hugs to all!
xxx

ps
pinkfluffy i followed your advice and meditated in the garden on saturday morning in the early morning sun - looking into some beautiful lavender plants. it was charming!
to answer your question, i originally went on a 6-week meditation course, about 3 years ago now - one of those where you go for 2 hours one evening a week i mean (not a 6-week immersion)! it was really helpful. gave us a whole range of techniques as a sort of 'taster'. i generally use the mindfulness of breath meditation, or body awareness (that is the one i find easiest to really tune out of my mind with, it's my favourite), or metta bhavana (the compassion to self, then others one). but hey - i am no expert!! xxx

girls - not had anything from abebooks yet either, it occurs to me. has anyone else used them - philB, have you had your order through yet?

but - drumroll - here is my main news: DH just agreed, in a moment of weakness, to go on a meditation course!!!

whether he actually will is another matter, of course. still, an occasion for celebration i feel - i recommended it to him as a method for reducing his intolerance (primarily of me )

x

Hi
Katie - Good to hear all the news about the urban retreat - I'll look at the website for the resources.

Congrats on getting DH to meditation class. That's astonishing - how did you manage it? Give that girl a saffron robe....

Sorry to hear that your books haven't arrived, particularly the Lingering one which I'm beginning to think is better than the first one. I suggest phoning the lovely James at Blackwells - if you have no joy let me know and I'll trot round there and give the shop a piece of my mind - in a v mindful way of course!!

Thanks for the invite to Taraloka - I'd lllloooovvvee to go but I can't imagine I'd be able to secure a weekend pass. Also I think I'd better get my act into gear and go to a few meditation classes.
Must away to bed...before I start rambling on...
I'm meeting an old friend tomorrow who says she knows lots of quaker buddhists!

PFS XXXX

Hi all

just wanted to pop in and say hello

was quiet last week as was dong the urban retreat - what a great thing - quite time consuming but in a very positive way. Katie was a great retreat buddy as you can imagine

agree that many of the resources were great and will probably be buying that book as well. I really liked his style. Though I may not buy the book for a while. I need to do more practising less reading for a while

am going through bit of a period of emotional turmoil right now and can't seem to get the balance back to practice, but will works on tiny moments of mindfullness today in the hope it will help

am off to taraloka on Friday for weekend metta bhavana retreat and I tell you it couldn't be coming at a better time for me - it's about all that's keeping me afloat at the moment

hope everyone is well

metta to you all

PB - good to hear from you.
Hope you have a wonderful time on the retreat and you feel revitalised afterwards.
Shall send you positive vibes over the weekend.
Take care.

PFS

that's truly grim news g/up - i well remember the glowing terms you used to describe your experience of writing your phD and i really feel for you. i hope this decision is reversible and that they see sense. GRR!

PFS - the lovely plummy james at blackwell's was not available for comment yesterday BUT his equally plummy, reassuring colleague richard was. turns out - surprise surprise - there are 'mysterious distribution problems' with the lingering questions book! i despair! i figure i'll ask my parents to get their hands on it when they go over to oz in november - at this rate that will be the speediest option

peanut - can't wait to hear how you get on this weekend. we'll all be thinking of you!

good news at this end on the eternal quest to find a local sangha front: earlier this week i met with a buddhist woman who lives only 20 mins from me (in rural terms that's basically next-door!!) and who is attached to the worcester FWBO (they put us in touch with each other) but who, like me, finds it really hard to go all the way over there every week. or indeed, in my case, even every month . apparently she has a few contacts and we probably have enough people to look into founding our own little satellite FWBO group, which would be mentored by worcester who would send down teachers to help us out on a regular basis. hurrah! will see if it all comes to pass - but the most hopeful piece of progress to date in these isolated parts

one interesting thing she said to me was that i should consider myself very fortunate to have discovered buddhist teachings while my children are still little - she came to buddhism as hers were close to leaving home. that was good reminder to me to count my blessings. i've been trying to put the teachings into practice when it comes to dealing with DD's moods/unpredictable outbursts of rage - i would not say i am skilful yet (ha!!) but perhaps i am having...semi-skilful moments.now and again. which is something!! i constantly remind myself that everything that happens in life is an opportunity for spiritual growth. (sounds so pious!!) 'the whole world is medicine' as guru sarah puts it. that has really helped me to 'reframe' difficult experiences. even if i still would rather not have them, if i'm honest . but then - so many other people have SO much more to bear, as work teaches me on a regular basis.

you're all in my thoughts, girls

hugs to all x

where would you be aiming to base the new local sangha? worcester is ok for me as such , it is just the night of the week I can't do. Another location close by might be easier. Please keep me posted!

hello kids - it would be in and around hereford -which might be too far for you? will keep you posted anyway

i was in cambridge yesterday and could not just walk past a place i saw called 'the meditation shop'! i bought a book for kids called 'relax kids - the wishing star' by marneta viegas - 52 meditations for kids age 5+, and trialled it tonight for the first time with great success! the kids were really into it - they insisted on a candle being lit, appropriate music playing softly in the background (i have this CD of haunting devotional songs by a woman called snatam kaur - perfect)and arranged themselves on cushions, all v serious and focussed(!) - esp DD. i read them two pages - each page is essentially a guided meditation, visualising eg a 'peace star' within your mind, or being on top of a mountain, feeling the wind on your face and far from any cares or worries, alone and content and calm - that sort of thing. they really enjoyed it. (the clincher for them was the promise in the foreword that nightmares are reduced by evening meditation - DD gets loads!)

it remains to be seen whether their enthusiasm persists beyond tonight! but it was a lovely little session, and they were v interesting afterwards describing their visualisations - it rammed home to me yet again how amazingly vivid children's imaginations are - so much more detail than my ageing imaginative faculties ever go into

hope you all had a great weekend - hopefully we will soon hear from peanut re how she got on at taraloka

xxx

ps DS(5) asked me afterwards 'are there any men in your meditation group mummy?' - he'd clearly been concerned that this candle and visualisation business was in some way threatening to his masculinity
'certainly', i said, '3 or 4 men, in fact, and only 2 ladies'
'interesting' was the response. i'm not sure what that meant
...i don't think he's about to give up on his accumulated stocks of weaponry and books about gore, battles and knights just yet, somehow!

the meditation shop in Cambridge is exactly where i had bought exactly the same book and it has served me very well with my kids! they liked it and you soon get the gist and expand / alter / shorten as they respond.

If any of you are ever there when they have day workshops on, do go, they are wonderful.

katie - I guess you are aware of the FPMT group near Hereford? I was very tempted to try to get to that but yes, you are right, Hereford is a bit too far for me.
Guess it is a toss up between FWBO and training on a tuesday for me then - too bad, as it is both the training and the meditation that keep me going....

kids, i thought someone on this thread might have mentioned that book a while back - that's really funny, that we bought it in the same shop, even!
no i have never heard of the FPMT - what do the initials stand for?
maybe you could just go to the FWBO once a month or so, like i do?
it's so hard when there are conflicting demands on our time (story of our life as a mother of course!!)
X

ha ha - this is what happened this morning - my newly-enthused children asked for 'another meditation mummy! we love it! PLEEEEZE!' - so, duly delighted, i obliged.

halfway through a visualisation on 'floating', DD sits bolt upright, opens her eyes and asks suspiciously 'what do you mean mummy, 'my body feels so light and happy' - in REAL LIFE or in my imagination?' mummy (whispering) 'in your imagination, darling - which can feel real' - DD - exploding with rage - 'i'm confused! i don't know whether this is real life or imagination now! you've confused me! I HATE meditation'

...that's more like it, i thought - back to normal family life

sigh...

FPMT stands for the Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition
www.fpmt.org/
The actual centre is in London but they have a study group in Hereford - I can get the details for you if you are interested