Does anyone have a daily meditation practice? Would anyone like one but needs motivation?

[mangolassi]

Ooh, I feel all shy

I am agnostic and generally confused about spiritual things, but after recovering from a bout of pnd found a great book - The Mindful Way Through Depression. It has a programme of daily meditation, and I've tried in the past, but it's soooo hard to stick to with no support.

The meditation style in the book is 'western insight' - basically vipassana with the Buddhism taken out - but it would be great to have a thread for anyone trying to get started with daily practice, whatever kind of meditation appeals. Even better if there's anyone who actually has a daily practice already

earthy- so sorry to hear of your troubles with DP. you sound lovely and supportive but i bet it's v hard going. there is a great book which others here have used called 'the mindful way through depression', if you google it on amazon it comes straight up. i am interested in an approach to low mood/low self-esteem/anxiety etc called the 'human givens' approach - there is a v good human givens therapist in cwm bryn i have been told at a recent seminar, so it might be worth googling them too - they have a website with a list of registered therapists. just a thought. back soon but must get back to work

Hi Earthy - sorry to hear your DP in such a bad place. Just to say the mindful depression book warns that it shouldn't be used in periods of depression, it is best used when a person is between bouts to help them equip themselves to deal with/avoid the next one. though I still think if the depressed person is capable of standing outside it for any length of time at all some of the sections on ruminating for example could be good. I'd second Katie's idea of getting to a human givens therapist, though I believe some of them are fairly anti medication so you would need to weigh that up. In my own experience I needed medication to allow me to even start seeing wood from trees before anything else would really have helped I think. If he is relucatnt to go on anti-ds have you thought about st johns worth? that can help...

good luck - come back and chat anytime, lots of us have been through similar and come out tthe other end (for now at least, can't predict the future) through mindfulness etc

thanks peanut - i hadn't realised that about the book, though that makes total sense. although i have it and have looked through it, i haven't read it from cover to cover. i wonder why not (visualises bedroom for an instant and cringes...i've had to import an extra bookshelf upstairs from our hall to cope!!)

g/up and pb - always comforted to learn that others have highly-strung kids too by the way

was awake at 6am today and had a lovely 30-minute meditation to start off the day - i always meditate in our spare room, cross-legged on our bright red sofa in there, staring out into the branches of a big old apple tree in our garden. it's enormously calming to me, bringing nature into my meditation, that's why i haven't really gone down the shrine route as such - perhaps in the winter months when there is no view out of the window except for inky blackness then i will review the situation! i do have a little table i use sometimes with a soothing picture of seascape on it - i guess i will go back to that.

can you tell work is strangely quiet this morning

xxx

Hi Everyone
A friend of mine met a buddhist estate agent the other day!! Isn't that a misnomer?

I had to share....

Take care.
X

Thank you so much I'll make a note of book and look for the human givens approach.

We're away and in our fave place at the weekend so I hope that will help.

It's horrid when you can empathise so intensely and still be aware there is nothing one can say that helps, except I love you and will be there.

And you know the depressed person is thinking, but if you Really knew me you would not say that.

Thanks again

Earthy - have a lovely restful time in Glastonbury. I'm sure having a good weekend away will help you both. As for helping your DP I suppose the most important thing is just "being there". Sorry if this sounds a bit obvious / crass. I find the chapter on relationships with partners in Buddhism for Mothers very useful.. she talks of the winter and springs in a relationships. I think this is a lovely / helpful phrase.

Finally today's daily dharma from the Tricycle website says this -- may be relevant:

Consider this: Everyone, without exception, is in the same boat, subject to similar conditions, challenges, and suffering. How can anyone knowing this harbor anger or ill will toward another?

If you look around you with intellectual and intuitive sensitivity, it becomes evident that we are here to help each other grow into graceful, elegant, loving, and compassionate beings?light beings and beings of light! We are here to serve. To give. To sacrifice.

?Ajahn Sumano Bhikkhu, from Meeting the Monkey Halfway (Samuel Weiser, Inc.)

Take care
PFS

good morning girls X

PFS - that was a lovely daily dharma, thanks. earthy - i hope your weekend soothes and refreshes you all. have a great time. we are off to pembrokeshire to our caravan for the weekend after school gets out, i'm hoping to get a coastal path walk in alone once the kids are in bed at least one of the evenings. last time on the path i met four wild ponies at sunset, two of whom were game on for a nuzzle and a pat or three - a lovely memory.

PFS, you've reminded me how good BFM is and how much i am missing it(!!!) - unhealthy attachment, i believe that sentiment is known as! the chapter on relationships i found excellent - i really think it's helped me be more accepting of mine with DH and remind me to focus on his good points and all that we do share, rather than the fact that we don't share all of our interests and can have different outlooks on life/approaches to difficult situations. your daily dharma is one i find really useful - reminding myself that what we DO all share is the suffering we go through on a small and larger scale, we humans i mean, however much our lives appear to differ from one another's on the surface.

LOL at buddhist estate agent by the way - that really did make me smile ...we just need to look out for a buddhist arms dealer now

hi g/up - eckhart tolle likes to quote from the tao te ching in 'a new earth' - i'd definitely like to know more about taoism too
no you aren't weird g/up - or no weirder, in your own unique way, than the rest of us it's just i feel that at my amateur level, i really want to concentrate on infusing my day-to-day grapplings with life with what we are all learning here; the practical applications are what i am intersted in. the artistic/historical/ritualistic elements of buddhism are of secondary importance to me at the moment. especially as i am a quako-buddhist rather than a fully-fledged buddhist per se!

just got in from work - who mentioned the 'q'- word recently??
I have just realised that I wuold like to restart the meditation with my girls on a more regular basis - it just was too difficult in noisy little rooms out in the middle east and asia with the muezzins blaring away. Still, we had quite some contact with the sufi traditions and spent some time in a monastery, so I guess we didn't do too badly.

Ayway, I have joined the club and bought the 'Peace is every step' - great book! Katie, can you also let me know about the THN sangha? I guess I could manage Gloucestershire depending on timing. you seem to be more up to date on local events.

To everyone who was interested in kids' meditation: mine liked it with some meditation music in the background, incense (we also had a long travel in India a few years back so they associate it well)and in a mixture format of 'reading a story' and 'meditation'. They actually also enjoyed thinking of things to put on a little meditation table - just ways to get them involved.
Let me know how you are getting on...
there are thousands of meditation podcasts and music files on itunes store - just browse! the meditation society of australia also has non-denominational type dharma talks with short meditations to follow.

Hi all,
have just spent about an hour catching up (as usual), and have now forgotten all the things I wanted to comment on. Welcome to all the newbies, although I see you've all been thoroughly welcomed already and are now advising us! Excellent

Earthy, probably the only thing worse than being massively depressed is having to watch dp be massively depressed and not be able to do anything about it. I would be resentful as hell too, especially if you were hoping for a better year this year. I second the a) medication and b) mindful way through depression advice - and it might help you to have a read as well, so you know what's going on in his head.

I've been doing far too much and stressing far too much recently. Had a work trip to Cambodia which was fantastic, learnt about lots of new projects and ideas. Then came back to the simultaneous implosion of a)the organisation I work for and b) the partner organisation we work with... I'm going to have 2 babies and no job

I'm kind of thinking about studying (where the money will come from I'm not sure), but can't decide whether it would be a good idea or not... do I want to work in public health? What do you think? i have no idea. Perhaps I should stop ruminating about it and start meditating instead. It may not help me make a decision but might calm me down a bit!

On the positive side, pg is going well - and I see that growing feels crappy so I take it all's well with your lo too

Okay, going for lunch. And will definitely meditate this evening. xxx

In education at the moment, so there's potentially some overlap - health education, maybe reproductive health education. I think that stuff is probably better done outside formal ed settings, especially as I work with really very conservative communities. Plus, there's likely to be more jobs/ money in something health-related - education is always the least-funded area.

On the other hand, health education can be a bit reactionary I think - focusing on individuals and their choices to the exclusion of the systemic/ structural issues people face. I don't know.

hello mango - it's lovely to have you back amongst us, o much-missed OP! i'm sorry life is suddenly presenting you with a fistful of challenges - just as you are readying yourself for child number two, too - eek...but this crossroads is bound to be an opportunity in disguise, and i am quite sure you will come to the right decision. i am sure meditation will help, as you say. are you working for an NGO at the moment? would you be looking to stay in that area, and specifically in thailand, presumably? decisions, decisions...good luck with it all.

we sponsor a child through actionaid in vietnam (pb - i know you do this too, don't you) and one of my dearly-held ambitions is to take the kids out there, and to cambodia too, one day. i've thought of you sometimes as i read the actionaid magazine and wondered whether you work for some similar outfit in bangkok!

g/up - i've finished 'a new earth' and am re-reading 'holiness' by donald nicholl - i love that book. i am getting used to the dubious looks i get if ever the title is glimpsed in public!!! have you any other suggestions from the pen of this wise and inspiring man?

peanut - re the FWBO urban retreat - i am ready to buddy you!! we are around this coming weekend, so i will not abandon you as i thought i had done this weekend just gone! i must print out the forms today from the facebook link.

everyone in general: hope you had a lovely weekend xxx we had a fab time in pembrokeshire yet again, how could we not, with the glorious weather and the fact that some mates brought down their sea kayak

ps mango - two of my close friends went into public health - both have now got out again. in one case she just found it very, very dull - the meetings, the endless rumination, the difficulty in actually getting things DONE. the other did enjoy many aspects - was v involved in refugee health for instance and was very motivated and enthused by that field - but got v disillusioned by the constant hijacking of what she and her team wanted to do by changing govt policy, short-termism etc. however that was maybe just the management of her particular team. and it might be very different outside of the UK of course. would you be studying in thailand?

mango, a few years ago i worked for a short time in india in some villages in which the main health provision was provided through community members - local women, who were bright and educated to a moderate standard - who had received training through a charity and got support from visiting doctors and nurses/midwives etc but basically ran the clinics themselves to a great extent. i am sure there must be similar programmes in thailand/asia in general and that seemed to me very worthwhile and impressive. we support the outfit still - it's called the IRHS (institute for rural health studies) and is based in hyderabad, andhra pradesh - might be worth googling for some ideas? just a thought.

HI Everyone, Good to see everyone's news. Mango v sorry to hear about the work problems. (Slight understatement I know!)
In case anyone has wanted to get a copy of Guru Sarah's most recent book "Buddhism for Mothers - lingering questions" - then Ive finally found out why there are no copies on the shelves and all online copies this paperback cost £33 ! It turns out that the distributor hasn't distributed the book because the publisher had put a restriction on the book. (For goodness sake it's hardly subversive literature!) ANyway this seems to have been due to a cock up rather than anything more sinister. Thanks to invention from Blackwell's the restriction has been lifted and my copy of the book should be with me within the week - once I've read it I"ll report back. (If you want a copy phone Blackwells Oxford and speak to the religious dept).
I haven't made it to the NKT meditation class but I did read a book by the NKT's founder. Personally it wasn't for me - lots of talk of death and being reincarnated as a hungry ghost. I just didn't get it. So I've started reading some TNH and like you all say he's wonderful - very relevant to day to day life.
Still having attachment issues here. Me and DH went away for first time this weekend since DD was born (5 years ago) and that really tested my attachment issues. Yes of course I took BFM with me just in case I needed to read the chapter on worrying about children!!
Must away - sceptical DH just about to walk in.

In haste
Off to do some mindful housework!

Hi everyone

Mango - so nice to hear from you but so sorry to hear the bad news about your job. I have no advice to give about what you should do next, zippo, knowing next to nothing about that sort of thing, apart from, as Katie knows, sponsoring a child in paraguay and one in tanzania. But what I would say is if you are getting stressed and confused, DO meditate. It will help calm your mind, which of course is what will ultimately enable you to think clearly aboutthis stuff and make the right decision. I never understood that about meditation til now. Good luck with it all.

Am just about to head out to a parents/governors meeting at school so haven't got long. Just wanted to fill you in on funny/lovely thing...my dad visited this weekend as it was DD1's birthday - we had some nice chats - one the way up from teh airport he was talking about the daughter of some friends of his who has a very rare form of cancer, which is understood to be terminal. Apparantly she has about 2 years to live at oncologists best guess. The woman is younger than me Anyway, dad was amazed by this woman's approach to her situation, he couldn't believe how calm and positve she was while all around her continue to reel. I was silently wondering "meditation???" and then he said, she's been doing regular meditation and indeed going to buddhist retreats 4 or so times a year. Dad was really impressed. We got to talking over the rest of the weekend and I told him about my interest in buddhism etc etc etc. Then he asked whether I could recommend a basic introduction. This morning I gave him the buddhism tools for living book while I was having a shower and between long and short he took it home with him to delve into further. I was and He is the last person on this planet I would have thought would turn to buddhism - just goes to show. Will be interesting to see how this unfolds!

love to you all XXX

peanutbrittle I lurk on this thread sometimes but just wanted to say it was lovely to hear about you and your dad . He sounds great , brilliant to discover something completely unexpected about someone you know so well .

Thanks for the welcome. My computer seems to have problems with Mumsnet, so pretty patchy contributions. I have ordered the Buddhism for Mothers book from Abebooks - there seem to be a few copies on there, and cheaper than Amazon if anyone else is trying to get hold of one. It can take a while for them to get to you though, I'm still waiting...

Does anyone else have a yoga practice as well? I used to go regularly to classes but since DD was born just can't muster the enthusiasm to sacrifice the time or money and go. I've been noodling about by myself while she sleeps, which I believe is called 'developing a self practice'. But I sometimes feel almost guilty for not actively seeking out a class. Anyone know what I mean?

I've never been to a meditation group - how does it help you (those who do go) with your meditation? I'm trying to do insight-type meditation, rather than mindfulness of breathing or metta, but all the groups I've seen focus on the latter two.

Sorry about the bla bla bla.

Philippa

hello Colette and thanks - he is 75 and really quite conservative (in the non-political sense) he does have heart issues and I know his mortality has always played on his mind, moreso since this heart problem was diagnosed so I guess having seen a much younger person face death in such a positive way he feels the approach may have something to offer him. He tried green tea for the first time this weekend too

phib - I know katie practises yoga too so maybe she can help - I used to but have a knackered hip now after DD1's birth so can't anymore

wrt meditation groups - the shambhala group might suit you - I went to one of their sessions and I think it was insight meditation - certainly not MoB or metta. What do I get from group meditations? hmmm, well a space that can't be interrupted in which I know I can/am meditating is a big one. At home it is too easy to be interrupted/distracted. I like that feeling of going out of the house and joining with like minded souls to practice, in a way it makes it feel very valid to me. I am a newbie to meditation so it is helpful to have a bit more structure too. I suffer intermittently with depression so it is good for me to get out and do something so positive and to buid up relationships with people I find an easy common ground with. I find it all adds to the "white space" in my life which is something I am working hard on extending

katie - forgot to say (aeons ago you posted about it) congrats on finding a TNH group near you - have you been yet? I am going to my second meeting tonight - looking forward to it (even if they don't do tea breaks!)

hello everyone!

colette, welcome
philB i put my survival of some very thorny emotional ishoos 2-3 years ago almost entirely down to 1/ yoga and 2/ meditation. i am an iyengar fan and had an amazing teacher 3 years ago who really inspired me to make it a regular daily practice. that was in NZ though - slight disadvantage - i took 18 mths to find a good teacher back in the UK but i have now. so i go every monday and try to have a daily practice at home of a morning too. what sort of yoga are you into? for ages i just did my own thing at home too which was definitely better than nothing. the only thing is i always go for the postures i know and can do, when left to my own devices and leave the horrid tricky ones well alone!

PB i have found a TNH sangha but i wouldn't say it's close to me - about 1 hr 30 mins by car! i've been thinking about this local sangha biz and realising that i should just relax into what IS local to me, ie my lovely quakers, and get to the FWBO now and again when i can. accepting what i have here and NOW(!) ... i am blessed with where i live - every day i look out of my window and can hardly believe i'm surrounded by such natural beauty. i need to relax into that and stop striving for the perfect (possibly imaginary) sangha elsewhere!

loved the story of your dad and his newly-discovered inner greentea-drinking buddhist - really put a smile on my face. back soon xxx

ps PFS - you are an absolute star SLEUTH on the BFM front. i have by now lost count of all the girlfriends/sisters-in-law etc i want to give a copy too - i will check out abebooks in due course now. thanks

pps philB i can't believe that on this supremely wordy thread you saw fit to append your perfectly modest contribution with 'sorry for the bla bla bla' you must know that you are safe on here with any length of post!!!