Does anyone have a daily meditation practice? Would anyone like one but needs motivation?

[mangolassi]

Ooh, I feel all shy

I am agnostic and generally confused about spiritual things, but after recovering from a bout of pnd found a great book - The Mindful Way Through Depression. It has a programme of daily meditation, and I've tried in the past, but it's soooo hard to stick to with no support.

The meditation style in the book is 'western insight' - basically vipassana with the Buddhism taken out - but it would be great to have a thread for anyone trying to get started with daily practice, whatever kind of meditation appeals. Even better if there's anyone who actually has a daily practice already

thank you everyone for your kind thoughts - I do feel much better for having sent off the questionnaire now, although was very difficult to do it. Have an assessment appointment with the psychotherapist on 11 May. No doubt the mindful practice will have worked so well by then I won't even need it.

I had a lovely body scan again yesterday, the tingles were back (MangoL - any developments in that department for you?). I was so glad I allowed myself the day off. The scan was lovely as I had plenty of time and no-one else in the house. It was a good thing to do as I got up this morning feeling I could face the world again.

LouieS that's a lovely poem - but the dark thoughts...it's a challenge to welcome them without wallowing or doing that thing you described earlier and just taking them as real. I worry about my psychotherapy, that doing it is admitting that this is really me, this dark, depressed, troubled person. Otherwise I try to tell myself I am not that person, and the mindfullness teaches that these are only thoughts, but the therapy gives it validity so to speak. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, ramble over.

Sorry to hear you having crap time rev, I hope you manage to find some time to centre yourself a bit again, and regroup somehow. Concerns over kids/parents are just awful. You need all your strength to get through that. I hope you manage to find it.

MayorNaze, your joss stick story reminded me that yesterday when I was in the doldrums, fed up with myself for not being able to get up and happily head to work, dreading the questionnaire, hating my body, my head everything...a parcel came through the post containing some gorgeous handspun alpaca wool which I had ordered to make a birthday scarf for a friend of mine. It comes from a place where they send you a picture of the actual animal the wool comes from (she will love that, she is an animal nut). It was a mauve coloured wool and each hank had a small bag of lavender seeds (and I think a little cube of soap) attached. The smell was overwhelming. It was as though it had gotten into every fibre of the yarn and merely handling it was a phenomenal experience. Reminded me that we should all look after our senses, and that smell particularly is such a strong enhancer of mood if managed correctly. It really enlivened me and engendered a sense of positivity that 30 mins before I wouldn't have thought possible. (I can't wait to knit with it)

so, everyone, go smell some lavender...

love to all XXX

Hi peanut - yes your post does make sense to me. And I definitely see what you mean about the therapy making you feel validated in your thoughts that you are a dark and troubled person.

But my take on it, and I speak for myself here - is what is making me think that I am a dark and troubled person and I come back to one thing - my thoughts. My thoughts and the fact that I don't have enough serotonin in my brain to encourage happy thoughts and feelings and to negate this opinion of myself. I also keep having to remember that there is something physically wrong with me, that I have an illness but that illness is not who I am. The thoughts that swirl and nag and plunge my mood are not who I am.

I know that sometimes I probably will get all involved in ruminating and feeling low when I welcome these feelings as suggested, but I am hoping that this will lessen and one day I can let every nasty thought enter and leave my head without getting caught up in it.

I can live in hope I guess

Gaah! Had a very weird time yesterday trying and failing to post... consider this a test

Right then, now I can post but don't have book to hand, so from memory:

Week 2

1. Bloody body scan (no, not improving for me yet. But I'll persevere for another week)
2. 10 minutes breathing meditation, preferably at a different time of day than body scan.
3. Add another routine activity and try to be mindful every time you do it.
4. Pleasant events calendar. This is supposed to help you be aware of how experiences are made up of thoughts, feelings and physical sensations. So each day, try to be aware of a pleasant even as it's happening. (It doesn't always work that way, but try!). Then, later, write down what the experience was, and answer some questions - can someone who mn's at home please add the questions? Can't remember them offhand!

louie, thanks for the rumi poem which i just read and which spoke to me - having a bad morning on the existential angst front - feeling low and lonely. i tried to talk to DH about the latter last night and his exact words were 'oh don't start' - sigh! - even though he is a lovely man in most respects, he is SO not on for high-level discussions of that sort and i end up feeling (literally) cut off mid-sentence and even more alone with my angsty 'what's this life all about' dark ruminating thoughts. in one sense he's right to be impatient bcs i am surrounded by family and friends - most of whom would never guess that i struggle like this with such issues - but it's that alone-ness in the greater sense that i wrestle with so. i was comforted last night by thich nhat hanh's wise words, that mindfulness is about learning to come back to the haven of the present moment, about resisting getting dragged under by the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future - all we really have and can be sure of is this moment, right now, and we can use our conscious breathing to bring ourselves back to that solid base, which represents freedom, at any time.
deep breath - will keep trying!

hi girls

questions are (for pleasant events calendar:

what was the experience?

how did your body feel, in detail, during the experience?

what thoughts or images accompanied the event? (write thoughts in words; describe images)

what moods, emotions amd feelings accompanied the event?

what thoughts are in your mind now as you write this down?

gotta go - meditation group this morning at mine

Hi everyone

KatieK - sorry to hear your existential angst woes, I've had waves of those too, in between periods of levity. Am just finishing reading The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver and her version of the atrocities committed in Africa in the name of democracy but really for wealth have left me reeling and really wondering why/how life can be so unbalanced and unjust. Anyway, I will have to put that to one side and get on with this day. Now. here. The one I am in.

I'm still worrying about what the psychotherapy will bring...I read your words Katiek "thich nhat hanh's wise words, that mindfulness is about learning to come back to the haven of the present moment, about resisting getting dragged under by the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future - all we really have and can be sure of is this moment, right now," and thought that psychotherapy is really the opposite of all of that, it may drag me back and down. I must look up those books again that rev (i think) suggested, about therapy without a self or something. I did order one at the time but then it was out of stock.

Anyway, am getting on with the programme. have been very busy so not able to do it all, the idea of the one dedicated hour has fallen by the wayside this week. I have been doing teh body scan when I can (in teh bath last night made for an interesting experience" and the 10 mins meditation (on the bus!). I really like this thing about recognising something pleasurable while it is happening. I have trouble with the while it is happening bit - I find myself thinking immediately afterwards "oooh, if only I had realised" but I suppose that is what it is about - opening our awareness so that ultimately we will strat to be aware in the moment

I have decided to accompany the programme with a detox...have been having really bad headaches, and feeling quite low...reckon I might have a slight wheat intolerance so decidid to give that and alcohol up for a while, then thouhgt that as I am at it I may as well go the whole hog so am taking detxing tinctures and herbal teas and giving up dairy, meat etc. Trying to bring lots of ood veg, salads and fruit in. Felt like shit yesterday but I normally do at the start...

long ramble...hope you all well.

MangoL sorry to hear you still not enjoying the body scan...am racking my brains for ideas to help but drawing blanks...sorry

hi peanut - really interesting to read you. i loved, loved, loved the poisonwood bible by the way - her other books are good too but none come close to that one i don't think!
i totally share your dilemma about whether therapy somehow goes against what we are all trying to do on this thread as far as increasing our focus on the present is concerned. can't remember if i told you i am just coming to the end of a year of such therapy - i found it helpful up to a point but now feel i've 'done that bit' and want to focus much more on meditation and mindfulness and the spiritual angle to life. perhaps you too will benefit from some therapy while bearing in mind that, longer-term, mindfulness and appreciating the present is the way forward! i know that i was so distressed for a while (grief/broken heart) that i really did appreciate someone to sort through my feelings with - i wasn't in a proper state to be able to cope with mindfulness - but now i am, and i think i've had my day with therapy. so don't worry - go for it and see what transpires and try to keep it in parallel with applying mindfulness to your everyday life the rest of the time. i am sure you will soon work out whether it is the right thing for you or not.
i haven't really got into the 8-week programme girls as i feel the need to read the book first - only just getting into it - really like it. chimes in well with my interest in the Human Givens approach to therapy, which is very much about the present and about injecting meaning into our lives. i have already recommended it to a couple of depressed patients i thought it would suit!
better go - back soon - good luck with the detox peanut - you're a brave woman

thanks for sharing your experiences KatieK - very interesting. I must remember that if it isn't working I can stop it - although I do expect it to be fairly hard to begin with at least

the detox is going well, am on day 4 and feeling much more awake when I wake up in mornings now, much more alert. Still need to have one cup of builders tea a day or teh headache is unbearable but have totally given up tea apart from that, coffee, wheat, meat, dairy, alcohol etc. Need to do a day or two just fruit or just veggies I think, with lots of water just to really get those toxins moving and then will start to bring back in things. Am thinking maybe two-three weeks in total.

was out aain last night so no meditation - will be home alone tonight so will do full body scan and meditate. Still trying to wash hands mindfully and do the pleasant experience awareness, but haven't started writing this down yet...maybe tonight

am not really sure what I experience physically in those moments - when I think about it in the moment I feel like my stomach is going to drop out of my body - hmm, some anxieties in there perhaps...

love to you all, hope you are having good weeks

I don't think that therapy is necessarily incompatible with mindfulness... possibly Woody Allen-style 15 years straight would be. But sometimes we find it hard to let go of things because we really haven't processed them enough, or haven't been in a safe enough space to experience the full effects of whatever's happened to us. It's a brave decision to go ahead with it, peanut!

I'm still struggling with the body scan, which is kind of interesting in a way. I love lying in shivasana after yoga, and I have a guided meditation CD for pregnancy that involves basically a body scan plus visualisation, and I like that. There's something about the 'unadorned' lying down and working through the body that makes me restless.

Just re-read mayorNaze's last post - made me

thanks ML - I am feeling much more focussed now (combo of the mindfulness program and my ban on alcohol I guess) and brave about the therapy - guess next time I have a dip I will be terrified again...c'est la vie

my program is still quite erratic - I seem to be snatching time when putting kids to bed, lying in bath, on bus to do teh meditation and body scan - still is better than nothing and it is reminding me to do something each day

I notice in the last week or so my creative juices are coming back which always makes me happy - I do a lot of crafting and keep a blog about it - I know I am doing well when I am enthusiastic about lots of projects, getting stuck in, getting them completed and actually writing about them...if only I could find a way to support myself through that, rather than my rather stiflingly boring office job, or even to find a better balance...

anyway, have a great week everyone...it's a bit quiet on here of late but I really hope you are all doing well...

love and good wishes to you all

mango says it much better than I do peanut! I have just read back my last post and it sounded rather preachy - sorry about that - tbh I was probably talking mainly to myself.

Anyway I had an interesting week last week. I have been doing the programme on and off - but still trying to be more mindful at whatever I am doing.

On Friday was a 15 year anniversary of a traumatic day in my life, and usually I would be down in the dumps and thinking about it the whole day. I did feel a little like this, but I reminded myself that it was in the past, and that right now I have a lovely dh and ds, and a pretty great - if hectic - life. So that definitely got rid of a lot of unpleasant feelings.

Also something else in the book was good for me - living in the present, not the past or the future. For example I am trying to learn my dh's language - I have been trying for about seven years now. But I would always say to myself that I have always failed in the past and I should be able to speak it for my ds when he grows up (past and future thing again) and I would find it a bit hard and give up. However I have been learning a little bit of the language each day just being content with that, not projecting it forward or backward iyswim.

Anyway, to sum it all up, I can definitely see the benefits of minfulness, hopefully I can keep it up!

oooh louie, I'm crap at languages. dd is 2 and already I can only understand about half of what she talks about with dp.

Is it so quiet because everyone is worried about interrupting the 8 week thing? I hope not, I still want to hear about everybody's 5 minutes of successful mindfulness/ attempts at mindfulness/ trips on astral boats/ whatever.

I'm not managing to make time for formal practice every day - I seem to have pregnancy-related need to sleep about 12 hours a night. But I am remembering sporadically through the day and taking a few breaths. Glad we get to do yoga this week instead of body scan - yaay!

hello girls! am still here. not been doing the programme i confess but trying to make time for some meditation daily. had a pretty intense time at my quaker meeting on sunday - a private grief which was lying pretty dormant rose back up to beat me over the head a few times, during the silence, just as negative mindstates do arise sometimes in such circs. much to my horror i broke into huge heaving chest-searing sobs in the middle of the meeting - EEK!!! had to be comforted by a wonderful lady in the seat in front of me and led outside into the sunshine and the peace of the daffodil-strewn garden for a while! managed to rejoin the meeting, serenity eventually restored, and thank them all at the end for being so supportive and kind - i felt so warmed-through by their compassion, as a group. i do so love my sunday hour of peace and contemplation there!
yes so, grief still present and correct unfortunately, and therefore mindfulness not going so well - just at a time i need to be mindful! so this is a reminder to myself to get back to breathing, and staying in the moment, and Not Getting Dragged Under By The Past!
big hugs to you all and back soon xxx

big hugs to you Katie - hope you are managing to get through this week without dwelling on the past too much. Moments like the one you experienced at the quaker group can just come from nowhere - I had something slightly similar at the RFH last week watching DD1 sing at a school choir thing. It just walloped me in the head/heart that my mum (who died almost 17 years ago now and who I will never stop missing) would never see her. Obviously I know that logically, but it just walloped me and left me weeping. We must all be kind to ourselves at these moments I think. Sounds like you were in a good place with compassionate people. Hope your bi-weekly meditation is going well too K. I am hoping to get out tonight to my FWBO session as DH isn't working. Have been extremely stressed at work (GP wanted to sign me off but I, possibly foolishly, decided to keep going in for now) so god knows what will erupt in tonight's session! A bit of communal calmness will be beneficial though I reckon.

As a result of the work stress the 8 week program has rather taken a back seat. AM still managing body scan more days than not but not much more. Must reread and get myself back on track.

love to all

Wow, looks like we're all having a hard time of it... hugs to all who need them.

I'm enjoying the yoga + sitting meditation a lot. I actually like doing the stretches really really slowly, and consciously relaxing all the parts of my body that aren't involved in the stretch. It's making me much more aware of where I hold tension.

hugs to everyone who needs one!

I've been very slack of late - I guess I have to admit I fell off the eight week programme after week 2, but I will come back to it when things are less hectic - work has been manic, home has been crazy and now I am off to the emerald isle for two weeks...still off the booze amongst other things and feeling great for it (lost half a stone too - bonus!)

have a lovely Easter everyone. I hope it is calm and peaceful wherever you are.

thinking of you all, girls, hugs gratefully received and returned and justa, am thinking of you and of your dad and sending love to you all. i know things have been really hard recently and i hope they settle down soon. peanut, enjoy ireland, you lucky girl!
having a lovely week in france at the moment, at my parents' place - despite mixed weather we've had a relaxed time and i have found the space to meditate daily - sometimes having to get outside and walk in la belle nature in order to achieve the peace that i need for that, given the constant presence of les not-very-quiet enfants! i'm looking into going on my first retreat in a month's time, a buddhist one, in shropshire - a weekend one. i think it's a women only one, not that i particularly sought that out it just happens to be what is available the weekend i am free. will let you know if it comes to pass and how it goes if it all works out and they have a place for me! am re-reading 'buddhism for mothers' while here, having finally come to the end of 'living buddha living christ'.
okay girls, big love to you all and will be back soon. hugs xxx

Sorry rev, only just saw your message and you're back already - glad to hear that it went well, though. Hope things are getting easier for you in general x

Glad to see your weekend went okay rev.

Have been a bit lost in a fug of depression so haven't posted anything lately. It seems to be slowly disappearing though and I have been trying to use various meditation techniques to lift it, but old habits die hard.

I think I need to reread the Mindful Way Through Depression - when I read it last time it was on a high and now I am on a bit of a low so it might help a bit more.

Hope you all have good weeks.

Hi everyone - am back from a very lovely relaxing time in Ireland - I didn't get to meditate much (at all!) as was on my own with the two kids, but we did a lot of stuff outdoors in the countryside and at the beach. The weather was fine, if bracing, and we swept our cobwebs away. I started to see myself living there, in the countryside and found the return to London yesterday quite depressing. Am trying to hang onto the good feelings generated but can feel the slump starting. Went to bed at 8 with the kids last night so I wouldn't sit alone ruminating about wanting to leave the city. Slept for 12 hours which was probably very good for me!

Louie am sorry to hear you are feeling down - I think rereading the book might be a great idea, as long as you are not in the throes of a full clinically depressed moment when the authors say it is not recommended. I must get my copy out again actually

justa, hope the weekend went ok and that you are feeling better now

Katie, your weekend retreat sounds wonderful...all the ones I find seem to be on dates I can't make - I will look again though. I hope you have a lovely time. Glad to hear the break in France was good too. We all need breaks like that I think...

love and best wishes to you all XXX