(Have just read this back to myself and it's very, very long and a bit ranty - sorry )
We're visiting my PIL at the moment (on the other side of the world). It's a long story, but basically we had discussed having dc2 christened in dh's country as dc1 was christened in my country (his parents came over for the christening which coincided with their 'every other year' visit). Despite me bringing this up several times over the last year and a half since finding out I was pg, nothing was formally arranged.
We arrived in dh's country and on Monday last week, FIL mentioned that we had talked about dc2's christening being in their country and then informed me that it was on Saturday. I was actually pretty miffed, but on the other hand could see that it was only fair so that dh's family could attend etc.
Dh and I had discussed godparents now and then and I wanted my friend from childhood and a mutual friend of ours. Each time we discussed this, dh was happy for it. I brought this up again once I discovered we were apparently having the christening in 5 days and asked dh to speak to the priest about our friends becoming godparents by proxy (seeing as they wouldn't just be able to fly to another continent with a few days notice ). Dh apparently forgot about this and about half an hour before leaving for the church, some visitors turned up to PIL's house and I was introduced to the godfather and godmother of my child. FIL had 'kindly' arranged for the wife and the son of his best friend to act as godparents (whom, btw, dh didn't really know either and has no relationship with). I was too taken aback and didn't really know how to react to this.
I have since spoken to dh about this - he knows that I am seething and he explained that he wasn't involved with any of the christening plans at all. FIL arranged everything from food to guestlist (which consisted of some family and his friends - not a single of dh's friends were invited and dh wasn't asked if he would like to invite any either). Dh told me that he was under the impression that it was just going to be a simple ceremony for family and that suddenly everything must have escalated in a snowball effect.
I am upset that a) this wasn't organised in the past year as I had tried to discuss with dh so that some of my family (at least my parents!) could have arranged to come, b) this was suddenly sprung on us - if I had known before coming then at least I could have brought my family's christening gown (dh's family don't have a traditional gown so one was bought), c) neither dh nor I were consulted on anything. But most of all I am pretty upset that 2 people, with whom we have no relationship, are the godparents to our child rather than the 2 friends dh and I had agreed on (and whom had been asked and were honoured and happy to have been asked).
On the other hand, of course it was fair to have the christening in dh's country and it was my mistake to assume that we would have the christening in my country next year (as the time of our trip drew closer, I kept asking dh about this and he kept saying that he didn't know whether or not the christening would take place due to birth certificates needing to be translated and the paperwork involved etc. In the end I think we both assumed that there wasn't enough time to organise it, and if that were the case, then we could organise it next year to coincide with PIL's trip over to visit. So I suppose I learnt my lesson about assumption being the mother of all cock ups and all that).
But on a practical note (as I rely MN as the fountain of all knowledge , although I will also ring up the 'family priest' when we get back) is there any way to add on our chosen godparents? I suppose we could always just say that they are honoury godparents or something like that and in the grand scheme of things the names on the certificate aren't that important, but that just feels a bit flat.
Well done if you got this far! (Am heading to bed now btw, so you know if I don't respond for a while!)