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Philosophy/religion

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Not sure this really belongs here but seemed a bit inappropriate to post in bereavement thread

8 replies

hellywobs · 17/11/2008 19:04

About a year ago my son (who is 6 on Thursday) started saying that he didn't want to get older than 10. Older than 10 was too serious, he wanted to stay little etc. Apparently they also discussed it at school (In reception! So much angst!) So far ok. But then he came home one day and said that one of the girls in another class at school had said that he would die when he was 11.

My blood ran cold. I think I am quite superstitious and believe in fate and I wondered if this girl (who could have only been 4 or 5) had simply thought "well if you don't want to be older than 10 you'll have to die when you are 11" or whether she was making some sort of prediction.

I have tried to put it out of my mind but on Saturday my son was at a friend's party and according to his mum the friend had been broken-hearted at the idea of being 6 because he wanted to stay his mummy's baby forever and it made me remember this and I am really upset now, I can hardly put it out of my mind.

I keep thinking I want to lock him up from his 11th to 12th birthdays to keep him safe (but then an aeroplane would land on the house or it would get struck by lightning or something). I feel quite sick and very stupid for taking any of this seriously when I don't even know exactly what was said and in what context. I wish my son had kept it to himself! But you hear of predictions being true and I can't think about this rationally. I certainly don't want to mention it to anyone close to me because they'd be upset so came on here for some advice/telling me to sort myself out/etc etc.

OP posts:
cornsilk · 17/11/2008 19:12

The girl was probably saying that because of what your ds said.

Lauriefairycake · 17/11/2008 19:18

I don't believe in any external factors making something like this happen.

I do believe in us creating our own problems ie. dwelling on this and 'making' it come true by being over careful so that you drive panicked for example.

You need to move on from this and put it out of your mind - a good cognitive technique is whenever you're thinking about it to acknowledge it out loud, and then say I will think about something else and do it. Repeat until you are in control.

You control your thoughts - there is no point in thinking about every possible bad things, that way madness lies.

Lauriefairycake · 17/11/2008 19:19

I don't believe in any external factors making something like this happen.

I do believe in us creating our own problems ie. dwelling on this and 'making' it come true by being over careful so that you drive panicked for example.

You need to move on from this and put it out of your mind - a good cognitive technique is whenever you're thinking about it to acknowledge it out loud, and then say I will think about something else and do it. Repeat until you are in control.

You control your thoughts - there is no point in thinking about every possible bad thing, that way madness lies.

candyy · 17/11/2008 19:19

I would put it to the back of your mind, as a load of nonsense. I remember my dad once telling me that my mum had been freaked out by a fortune teller she saw when she was younger.

Apparently everything this fortune teller told my mum came true, and she also told her she would die when she was 58. I was only about 14 the year she turned 58 and convinced myself something would happen to her during that year.

Well, she's now 74 years old and about to become a great gran!

I know how easy it is to get an idea about 'fate' in your head and it plays on your mind, and then you can't shake it off. But whatever that daft girl said at school is a load of rubbish. This isn't a prediction, it's just some daft words that fell out of a classmate's mouth, so do your best to ignore it.

Lauriefairycake · 17/11/2008 19:19

oops

beeper · 18/11/2008 15:44

My dad used to say that he would 'die young' that he would be dead by 30. I think he had a 'hollywood fixation'. However he is still lumbering along at 55, pickeled in alchohol and having smoked all his life and worked with asbestos for years.

ajandjjmum · 18/11/2008 16:06

I remember clearly thinking that I wouldn't live beyond the grand old age of 8!!! Funny now - but wasn't at the time.

moonmother · 18/11/2008 16:34

My Mum had a thing about turning 30, she was convinced she would never turn 31.

When she was giving birth to me , she had a lot of problems and nearly died, and had a subsequent miscarriage when I was about 3.It was generally advised that it wouldn't be a good idea for my parents to try for any more children.

Fast forward to 1981 and she fell pregnant with my brother, and Yes you've guessed it she was 30 that year.

She had a very traumatic(for her) 12 months, especially when she went into labour with my brother but I'm very glad to say that nothing happened and both her and my brother are fine.

She now looks abck and laughs about it, but, she always says that she was utterly convinced that she wouldn't reach 31.

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