My Christian friend's 'vision'

[littlestmummystop]

My dad died six weeks ago. I posted elsewhere to say I thought I'd seen 'signs' from him that I felt v strongly.
Then it felt like everything had gone quiet and I started to imagine he had 'gone' somewhere. . All v upsetting till I turned on radio and 'his song' was on ( an unusual song too!)

Then I had an evangelical Christian friend over for lunch and whilst I was talking about my hopes that my Dad has gone to some kind of Heaven ( I believe in God/ afterlife I think but have no blind faith) my friend said she had a 'vision.'

She told me about it afterwards and gave a beautiful description of a blue bird drinking from a water fountain. She thinks it was my dad drinking from the eternal waters and is a sign from God to me that he DID go to heaven.

I hope that's true. But for some reason am struggling to believe still. Why can't I have this faith ? Anyone else experienced anything like this?

firstly - so sorry for your loss.

unfortunately, i'm one of those people who believes that faith isn't something you can decide to have. In my experience it's something which seems to have a will of its own - i.e you might wake up one day and for seemingly no reason at all have a very strong feeling of perhaps 'connectedness' or spirituality that you didn't feel before..

Like you, i used to wonder where other people 'get' this faith from when i didn't have it. But i think, if it's a genuine thing, and not just going along with the church-going crowd then it's something that almost seems to choose you.

Does your friend's vision give you comfort? If so, great. If not, don't dwell on it too much. Unfortunately you can't 'feel' whatever it was she felt, you can only remember your father as you know him.

I think your dad knew you were upset and made a connection through "his song". Try not to think or analyse things too hard and take one day at a time. Be kind to yourself.

First of all, I am very sorry to hear about your loss LMS. I remember that when my Grandad, to whom I was very close, passed away, I was very very aware of his presence for a while, and then that awareness sort of faded, as time passed by, (although without the strong sense of loss you are now experiencing.)

As a Christian I do believe that God uses people to send encouragement and hope to us. I have certainly been reassured by prayers and 'visions' in the way that you have. I think TMF's advice is good. If your friends words were reassuring - which it sounds as if they were - then that is lovely.

Why do some people have faith and others don't? That is a hard one. I think that being brought up with faith can help, although it is not essential. But you learn so much as a child, it makes it easier to build on as an adult if you want to.

Of course, lots of people don't want a faith. Being a Christian is wonderful - it has brought me great joy and comfort, and some interesting challenges too - but it is also costly, and involves living life in a different way to the way I would have otherwise. Some people really don't want to think about changing their lives totally . . . the unknown is always daunting isn't it?

I think that you are right, faith is a gift. We can't just switch it on. But there is a lot you can do, if you want to. Your local church might run an Alpha course, which is specifically designed for people wanting to find out about the Christian faith and to ask questions. Quite a few mumsnetters have been on the courses and recommend them.

The Bible is also a good starting point, if you want to know more. There are good Bible study notes which you can use to help you know where to start.

You can also pray. I'm a great believer in asking God if He is real, and asking Him to show you more about Himself. As God, He ought to be able to do that, if you really want to know, hadn't He?

Hope that helps.

Thanks for your replies.

I want to believe what my friend said, and I suppose I'd also like to hear stories from other people if a vision has happened to them etc.

I do believe she does believe she saw something, but not sure what I believe it was IYSWIM. her imagination? I don't know.

I can only hope my dad did get there. He didn't have any faith, but my friend explained he could have turned to God at the last minute!

I wish I believed !

LMS - I also believe that when we die, we will have the opportunity to turn to God at the last minute.

I just wanted to add that you should look after yourself. Six weeks is still very early days, and losing a much loved parent is a huge thing to go through.

I do hope that someone else comes along and shares their experiences with you too. Visions are not unusual for evangelical/charismatic christians to experience in prayer.

Littlestmummystop, so sorry for your loss. It's very early days on your journey, but trust me that the pain recedes with time, although it will always be there with you somewhere. That's not necessarily a bad thing, because it means you have memories of your dad, and you're a caring soul. He lives on through you - that is his legacy.

Don't worry about whether you have faith or not, and what your faith is like compared to other people. Every human on this planet has a different, personal faith. No two are the same. However I think regardless of this it is possible to tap into some sort of collective consciousness and derive comfort from that even if you do not believe in God. Perhaps this is what the signs are - the collective intelligence of the people around you speaking to you and comforting you. Other people might describe it differently, or in a more traditionally religious way, but the important thing is that it brings you nearer to your dad at this difficult time, and helps the healing process to start.

You asked about visions. I have had three visions in my life. I am agnostic, by the way.

1. Age of 6, on the way back from swimming, early evening, looking at the Plough constellation through the car window, heard a clearly voice in my ear, saying my name in a friendly way. No idea why, but it was odd and nice at the same time.
2. Mid-thirties, waiting at a red traffic light whilst driving, vision of Jesus surrounded by children, reminding me about the passage to do with 'suffering the little children' and asking me to do my bit to make sure all children are properly cared for, welcomed and tolerated in the world. Life changing moment.
3. Funeral of grandfather, saw him walk into chapel in his hiking outfit, look at his coffin, go over to the corner, mutter to himself "thank goodness that's all over, I'm off up back up the mountains now" and stroll out without a backward glance. Now this was wierd. I really, really, really saw him, but I knew full well there was nothing there - it was like the third eye stuff I have read about.

Best of luck on your journey. xx

Thanks so much for sharing that BM. That really does sound incredible for you.
I wonder how common visions are but people don't share them for fear of being seen as a fraud?

I find it fascinating. My dad has come to my daughter and my brother in v real dreams too, saying he is okay and still here and comforting us.

Far from sitting on the fence now, I am almost wholly in the camp of. . . there MUST be some afterlife.

I wouldn't generally go around sharing this stuff but you have to agree that MN is a good place to do it.

The main thing with regard to believing is that it should make you feel comforted. xx

Littlestmummystop, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sorry to pop on here so briefly but I really do need to go to bed soon.

I've had visions in the past and have found them very helpful as they have been about difficult situations. One was about when I was pg with DD and it ended up that DH was out in Iraq at the time. There are times when that vision kept me going. When I first had the vision I thought that it just meant that I would get pg. When I got pg though I realised that it meant more than that, it meant that DH would come home to me and DD. I've also been given the gift of interpretting dreams but have only used it on occassion. It seems that very vivid dreams can have a significant meaning and I believe that they are a message from God, just like visions are. I don't pretend to wholly understand visions and dreams though and know that God is telling me if a dream has been specifically sent to give a message.

I don't know if this helps at all. Sorry if it's all a load of tired nonsense but if you want me to explain more then I would be happy to do so.

You don't get faith yourself its a gift from God, if you want more faith you have to ask for it.

I can give you bible verses to prove it if you want.

Those are lovely prophetic words from your friend, littlest. I think you can be sure that your dad has made it to heaven. I do hope you have the faith that you can join him there one day. I'm sure you will.