Calling all Christians- What do you make of this?

[whatawally]

Ok I'm about to be either very brave or very stupid depending on your take on things when you have read this. Either way I am opening myself right up various opinions. And wouldn't be surprised if some mumsnetters think I should be sectioned. But then I believe that God can be like that sometimes. He can just do things that nobody else could believe possible.

So I thought i'd share something that has happened to me recently and get your perspective on things. I will try and be brief.

In January this year I had a m/c, I was devestated, spent a couple of days being angry with God and then a week soaking in His presence and trying to make sense of it all. Anyway during this time I really cried out to God. If God is the doer of all miracles and wanders (which I do believe), then bring my baby back (yes I know that sounds mad). My baby was due on 30th July 08. I gave God this deadline, please bring my baby back by this date. In my mind and desperation I imagined miracously giving birth around this time to the child i'd lost.

We had given this child a name, I believed it was a boy.

Anyway- I got emotionally better. Forgot all about my prayer. Dh and I didn't feel we needed to replace this baby with another so we just got on with our lives.

Now I have to deviate a little bit- The history with our sex lives is that we have had a lot of barriers (too long to go into at the moment) to leading a healthy sex life. But in July all of a sudden out of nowhere my sex drive appears. I am not one of those women whose sex drive appears at ovultaion times, it just doesn't happen to me. I am usually pretty much sexually dead. so dh was quite happy with this. So not long after I start feeling ill, I just know i'm pg. My af should have showed up on 30th July, it did not. So now I am pg with number 4.

We then dissapear off to new wine for the week and the first service i go to they start talking about the a person in the bible who bears the name that we gave to our lost child. A few sentences later they mention something like being pregnant with the holy spirit I cant remember exactly. I heard the word pregnant next to the name and it took me aback a bit.

The next day a new service, talking about the same person again and this time saying that we have to believe that God is the same God that He has always been. And if He raised people from the dead in the books of the bible then He can still do that today.

That's when I remember the prayer that I had prayed all those months before.

So now my mind is working overtime.

It sounds mad to even suggest it, what do you guys think?

Thanx for your input on this.

Well, I'm a Christian, but maybe not the most traditional one, so I'm not sure if my take on this will be traditional either, but here goes...

I don't think that God brings individuals back from the dead in this life, but that there will be a possibility of something after death - I'm very sketchy about where lost babies would fit into this, but I do hope and believe that the baby you lost is now with God in some way.

So, I don't think that the baby you are now carrying (congratulations by the way) is your lost baby, but it is a new chance for you to have another baby. Not the same one, or a replacement, but a new life to bring into the world and nurture.

The timing is interesting, though hard to say how much it is God consciously encouraging you to conceive at that time because it was important to you, and how much is your body and subconscious taking action - but I find that's often the way when God nudges us, it's hard to be sure God did it, but the result is good!

And the readings sound like another nudge - what you took from them may be different from what others hearing got out of them, but again God seems to be nudging you to feel good about this new life and move forward.

The difficulty I feel in reading your letter is that it is very easy to try and manipulate God. I know this all too well, since I had two mcs after my son was born. It goes on the lines of "If you are so great, God, then can I please have my baby back?". Then when you do get pregnant it is again easy to think that you have got God to do what you wanted.
I agree with AMIS that the readings are probably just God reminding you that He is good, that He has your welfare at heart and that you can thank and praise Him for this new life. Miscarriages are incredibly hard because they cast aspersions on you as a human being: how stupid am I that I cannot keep this baby inside me? Of course that is total nonsense, it is nothing to do with you, bad things happen to good people and all that, but it doesn't mean that you don't THINK these things. And when you have a good relationship with God it is tempting to bargain with Him but you can't really. God has all authority in heaven and on earth and that includes our born and unborn children.
30 years after the event I do no longer hurt over these 'lost' children and at the time I firmly believed that they had gone back to the Lord Jesus to be looked after.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, maybe you would like to join us on the prayer thread so we can support you in prayer throughout and beyond your pregnancy.

I am really sorry for your loss. I've had a number of m/c myself, and it's just an awful, dreadful thing.

It's perfectly normal to try and bargain with God in those circumstances, and He will always graciously hear our prayers, but I truly believe that the baby you lost is with God right now.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy, and the new life you carry, it is most definitely the gift of God to you. But if you're asking whether or not this current pregnancy is resurrection of the child you lost, I would have to say no, it isn't.

But God is the same Lord He has always been, and He does restore broken hearts, and trusting in Christ, you will see the child you lost again, and you will have this new baby to hold and raise, too.

I understand your desperate desire for this to be a miracle. I lost 2 babies before I finally had dd1, and another between dd1 and ds.

But I think it is an everyday miracle - you have conceived again after the loss of a much loved and wanted baby, and that in itself is by the grace of God.

I agree with DutchOma that you were encouraged and restored by all you heard at New Wine were a real support from God, Him talking to you and reminding you that He is there even in the hardest times, the loss of your baby.

I don' thtink this is a resurrection - I think God has you precious baby in His arms, and has given you another.

Could I ask you to ask yourself this: if your baby died in January, would you really want him/her to come back from the glory of being in heaven with God? Would you like them to experience the pains of this life, when they have experienced Glory?

Please try to enjoy your new baby, this new life which has been gifted to you, without trying to infuse it with any miracle. It is, as all pregnancies are, a miracle in itself.