I want to start going to church.

[2beautifulgirls]

I don't know why but i have a strong desire to go to church. I have never been to church for anything other then weddings and christening before and midnight mass on christmas eve a couple of times.
So i am unsure of what happens and where i go, what i do.
I have 2DD aged 2 and 4 can they come with me?
Any advice on this matter would be very much appreciated.

You can say roughly where you live if you want and people will hopefully have some personal recommendations for you, but you can also go to Find a Church and see what is available to you locally
Were you baptised or dedicated as a child do you know? Have you got someone in RL to ask for advice? Your local C of E Parish Church could be a good place to turn for initial advice without committing yourself to that particular style of worship.
Good luck

I think children are usually accommodated. For example, the church I visit has a fantastic creche/age-related group system which all children are welcome to attend during the main part of the sermon. Children stay with us for the first, say 20 minutes or so and then go off into their respective groups until the end when everyone rejoins for coffee etc.

If you go somewhere that isn't welcoming, don't be put off, there are many good family-oriented churches available.

I started to going on a semi-regular basis after ds was born. The vicar told me he'd rather have a screaming baby there than me not go at all.
I'd take dc's if you want to.

you and your children should be really welcome in any church

if you don't feel welcome - go somewhere else!

What sort of experience are you looking for? Quiet and spiritual, lively and spiritual, community focused (i.e. not very spiritual!), small and intimate, large and active?

Have a look at the noticeboard outside the church - do the notices look current? Are they advertising events and services that speak to you and appeal to you?

in my experience (almost all church of england, but also methodist, quaker, catholic) churches do vary in what they do to entertain/cater for small children - some will provide toys and a carpet area somewhere in the main church and will be very happy with children bumbling around throughout the service; some will have a playroom or creche separate from the main church, which they may or may not expect most parents to stay in; some will have a Sunday school approach for different age groups. Don't feel you have to do anything that you or your children are not happy about (this should be said to you by a welcomer or churchwarden, but just in case). Most churches IME would expect you to stay with the 2-year-old, at least.

I really hope you find somewhere that is right for your family.

It does depend what you are looking for in a church. Some churches are more formal than others. Where abouts are you?

you need to go church shopping, meet priests and vicars and check out the churches and services.

ask specifically about children's services.
Our church has a childrens service sunday morning ( i go sat night )

there is a glassed off area where you can see hear the service but your kids can scream or you can breastfeed and it won't distract from the service.

there is a childrens liturgy. which means they all go out - there are some helpers - the do colouring etc. and then just before communion ( most important bit) they all trot back in and show the congregation what they have achieved

I was christened as a child, but have never attended church on a regular basis.
I live in Coventry and i know a few churches around the area i live.
But unsure what happens do i just turn up and sit down? Is it just on a Sunday?
I have so many questions and no one to ask in RL, as i feel my close friends would laugh at me and no real family around i can talk with.
I think my main desire to attend church has appeared from my grandad passing away a few weeks ago. It has hit me hard.
For the past few days it is all i have been thinking about. I want to go to church.

What i am looking for is something that i can sit and listen. But can become involved when i want. i am really unsure of what i want from it? I think i want another focus in my life, direction maybe? Does that sound cheesy?

Hi 2BGs

You may find churches believe different things as well, or emphasise different points. I needed to find a church where the doctrine "sat right" with me, we always go with a bag packed with exciting toys and things to do for the quiet bits and then the kids go to the kids bit and have a fab time. They will be happy to see you and will make sure you don't feel awkward!

give them a ring. ask about the childrens stuff.

if you drive - go have a walk in and a look round - most churches IME open in the AM but then unfortunatley lock the doors after midday mass...(don't know if proddy churches do midday mass) but catholic ones usually a polish mass at 12pm...so best avoid around that time - so would suggest around 10-11 am

walk in look round

seriously though, my first thing would be give them a ring and ask what they do for kids, proddy churches do sunday school i think.

if you just want to turn up - go on the internet, see what time the services are - some churches have websites and everything

turn up - sit at the back and stand up- sit down when everyone else does.

you won't be able to recieve communion, so you can either sit in your seat, or if the priest says to cross your arms over your chest ( like and 'x') you can follow the crowd and go up there will be loads just go for a blessing. and the priest with make the sign of the cross and mutter sommat and then you go bakc to your place.

then make sure you introduce yourself afterwards and have a chat

PS not cheesy at all! Lovely

Have a look outside the churches near you and see what time their services etc are. It will say if they have a children's church during normal church service. It just means the children go out after a while into a seperate room and do things there (listen to a bible story, draw, sing songs, etc) then come back in at the end. You could also call up beforehand and speak to whoever organises the children's activities and let them know you'd be coming or go along with your dc the first time or so and see them settled.

You might need to go a few times to get a feel for the place. Since a church is also a collection of people, they are never all the same even in one denomination, so you could visit a couple.

If you are Anglican , they will probably offer Alpha courses (sort of introduction to faith) , other churches will have Bible groups and various activities and you can decide for yourself how involved you want to be.

Hope you find a nice church that makes you feel welcome

If this is the C of E, then unless you have a really busy and well-supported church on your doorstep, then yes, most of it happens on a Sunday. But some churches have parent and child services on a weekday morning (generally those attached to a church school) or they have parent and toddler groups in the hall etc

At our church, what happens if a new person comes is this:

they are welcomed and given the information they need to attend the service

during the service they will be left quietly to their own devices to take it all in, except during the Peace when various people will shake their hands

if they are not sure about going up to have a blessing or take communion someone will be sure to see that they get guidance

After church someone will be bound to tell them about coffee in the church hall, whereupon other parishioners will introduce themselves and chat to them

Our church is nothing special - not smart or well-attended (= generating £££ for Southwark Diocese ), but its welcome is incredibly friendly. Dh was ill at the time and I went for the first few weeks on my own with two young dcs. Everyone was so kind to us. : dh is now Churchwarden and I sing in the Choir and help with Sunday School . More importantly we feel connected with the community in which we live and have made some really interesting friends of all ages.

If you are at a low ebb because of a bereavement, the right church will give you comfort and fellowship without making demands you don't feel you can deal with at the moment.

Good luck - I think you need to pluck up courage and walk through a door one Sunday. Check out noticeboards and be alert for signs of especially family-friendly services and activities. Ring the Vicarage if you can.

yes sorry missed your earlier question. You just walk in, sit near the back maybe where you can see what is going on.

Maybe we can find an online guide to what goes on in the service, if you say which denomination you are. Otherwise you just pick up a song book on the way in or some churches hand out Bibles - and do what everyone else does. Would be good to know the Lord's Prayer maybe if you have forgotten it but it really needs no preparation to go to church. People are used to having folk wander in who have not been regular church-goers, no one will stare at you like you have 3 heads or anything. Everyone starts somewhere

I was just going to suggest finding whether your local churches have an alpha course too. That is a great chance to meet midweek with other new church goers and to discuss your ideas/find out more about christianity.

Many churches have a midweek toddler and baby group, which you could go along to. The folks there will be a mixture of those who go to that church and those who are just playing, so you could ask who goes to church there.

It can make it easier if you have someone to sit by, if you go to a C of E church which uses a service book. The service can sometimes jump around a bit - skip a couple of pages etc - so it's nice to have someone to tell you which page they are on, or what is happening next.

Oh, and most C of E churches they now have a section called the peace in the service. The priest says "The peace of the Lord be always with you" and the congregation then reply "And also with you". Then, often, everyone turns to their neighbours and shakes hands and says hello, or "peace be with you". At some churches, people hug each other, at others they nod to each other, or do nothing! It can be a bit surprising, if you are not expecting it, but just watch what others do.

Best of luck

I was just going to suggest finding whether your local churches have an alpha course too. That is a great chance to meet midweek with other new church goers and to discuss your ideas/find out more about christianity.

Many churches have a midweek toddler and baby group, which you could go along to. The folks there will be a mixture of those who go to that church and those who are just playing, so you could ask who goes to church there.

It can make it easier if you have someone to sit by, if you go to a C of E church which uses a service book. The service can sometimes jump around a bit - skip a couple of pages etc - so it's nice to have someone to tell you which page they are on, or what is happening next.

Oh, and most C of E churches they now have a section called the peace in the service. The priest says "The peace of the Lord be always with you" and the congregation then reply "And also with you". Then, often, everyone turns to their neighbours and shakes hands and says hello, or "peace be with you". At some churches, people hug each other, at others they nod to each other, or do nothing! It can be a bit surprising, if you are not expecting it, but just watch what others do.

Best of luck

Oops, sorry. Enthusiastic clicking there!

Thanks everyone.. Several of your posts brought tears to my eyes.
I wish i could say to my friends i am thinking about going to church without the fear of being laughed at, its a sad world really.
I do actually have a leaflet here that i picked up at my DD summer fayre from the church down the road. I has a childrens workshop on a sunday during 10am Worship, i might give the number a ring if i pluck up the courage.
Can i ask what do they tell the children? Its my choice to go and want them to learn new things without being forced if you understand.
As for what denomination i am i have no idea? I just believe there is something greater than ourselves.

Well I mean basically Catholic or Protestant I suppose. I would start with where you come from (ie if you were baptised an Anglican or something, may as well start there). Otherwise if it's all new ground, maybe just go to this one you got the leaflet from. Go ahead and call, say you're not a regular church-goer, feel you want to start attending church, could you come along with your dc to their workshop a few times. They will be happy to have you all.

Try it a few times though, first time might just seem odd, might be great. If it isn't you, have another look around.

I have to admit when it comes to choosing a church, music plays quite a role for me and although this sounds like such an idiotically STUPID thing to get hung up on, I couldn't regularly attend a church if the music got on my nerves. So we all need different things.

Have you got any toddler groups run by the church? I used to go to one on a weekday afternoon. It was a short service for the children with action songs and a story (any age up to school). Then it was drink and chat, with toys for the DCS.Some people were church goers, some just attended the group and never went to church. It would be a good starting point to talk to others. You should be very welcome at any church-if not find another.

If at all possible I would go on my own the first time and see what happens. Yes, you just go in at the time the notice board says and sit down.
In the first place I would go to the church nearest my home and see how you feel about it.
A Church of England (Anglican) church may well announce on their notice board they have three services, the one at 8am is usually a very quiet service, without singing, whereas the 10.30 is much more lively snd suitable for children.
But really any church at any service should be very happy to see you.
I will pray for you that you find great blessing in seeking God. If you also post on the prayer board, there will be other people happy to pray for and with you.

Hi 2bg. It is sad that people can have so many preconceptions about church. However, you can find very friendly, family based churches where you might be surprised at how many people of all types and ages are there.

It varies lots what children are told, depending on the church, but most involve lots of crayoning/sticking/some Bible stories or stories of saints etc. You can usually go along and sit in on a children's session to find out what happens and to make sure your kids are happy there.

C of E can be a good place to start if you don't know what denomination you are. Some C of E churches can be traditional and quite quiet, and others more informal and lively. But as someone below suggested, you can go and try them out for a Sunday or two, to decide where you most feel at home. Baptist, Methodist or United Reformed churches can be very welcoming too. Pentecostal churches will be very lively, with lots of singing. There are Roman Catholic churches in most towns too, though I think that it would be fair to say that becoming a Catholic involves more than other denominations . . .

I have decided to go to the church this sunday with the children and take it from there. Thank you everyone for giving me the courage to do this.
One last question? what is a Lutheran good shephard church?
will take a wander around the local churches and see what they have to offer.
I cannot thank everyone enough, will let you all know how it goes.

Lutheran denotes the tradition they follow. Good Shepherd is just the name of this particular church community. They follow in the footsteps of Martin Luther, the German reformer who amongst other things translated the Bible from Latin into German so they will be Bible-based in their teaching and the sermon will presumably be THE important part of the service.

It wouldn't have been my first choice for you, based solely on the one visit I made to a Lutheran church here in Germany. I couldn't fault it in any way, and wouldn't want to either but I didn't feel I connected in any way with what was going on, that's all.

If you want to go down the Protestant, Bible-based track, I wonder if you might like the Baptists. Well go ahead and try it anyway and let us know how you get on. THere is also a nice forum somewhere if I can find it called St. Chads or something. Will have a google. I think you'd like them.

Is this it?