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Can anyone point me in the direction of an amazing psychic????

33 replies

allgonebellyup · 22/06/2008 13:53

i would really love to hear what (if anything) my future holds, have seen one already who was a bit hit and miss.

i am in Sussex.

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allgonebellyup · 25/06/2008 21:43

i really dont want to end up in court again like i did with my dd's dad. i would much rather keep it friendly and it depresses me so much when i fight with my ex dh that i would just rather let ds be with him every weekend.
DS doesnt even like living with me very much, he has this little calendar thing where he counts down the days til his dad comes.

They hate being apart from each other. My ex says if i stop him seeing ds every weekend he will come 3 nights in the week to see him any way.

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MsDemeanor · 25/06/2008 22:02

He can't just say things like that! He's being a total bully! Your son NEEDS time with you and his sister. All this is very new to you all, and your son is bound to feel insecure, but it won't help if he doesn't have time at home, and it will get worse when he is at school. It's clearly NOT at all 'friendly' when your ex abuses you, threatens you and walks all over you. Frankly, I can't see how it can get much worse. You can stop fighting with him by getting an order sorting contact. It will take the wind out of his sails and you can start planning nice things to do at the weekend with both of your children. Honestly, your ex sounds completely horrible.

allgonebellyup · 25/06/2008 22:10

He's not horrible, he is just a bit obsessed with his son and sees me as trying to stand in his way.

i dont have the energy to fight him, i am just doing what makes ds happy. dd and ds dont get on all that well and she is very happy when he goes away at weekends.
i dont want to be the kind of mum that stops her ds seeing his dad, who he adores, every weekend.

Even my ex's mum is horrible to me, i stopped ds going to his dad's ONCE out of a whole year, and she came up to me ranting and raving about how selfish i am and how i never put ds first, and what an awful mother i am. It destroyed me.

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MsDemeanor · 25/06/2008 22:15

But he is BEING horrible. You say he is verbally abusive to you and rides roughshod over your very reasonable opinions. I worry that you sound so down, so lacking in energy. YOu genuinely sound quite depressed and he's exploiting that. Do you think maybe a visit to your gp to talk about how tired and defeated you feel might help. I feel so cross on your behalf, I really do, and I think he is exploiting your feelings of guilt so you feel you don't have the right to stand up for yourself. As for his mother ranting and raving at you - how DARE she! You mustn't let people treat you like this. It will make you feel like shit. You deserve much better. They are not telling the truth, they are nasty people trying to hurt you. Stop trying to win her approval. She's nothing to you now. You will clearly never be 'the kind of mum' who stops her children seeing their father, but you can be the kind of mother who says, 'hang on, he has a sister and a mother and he needs to spend time with them too'. That's not at all unreasonable. As for returning such a little child at 10pm and marching into your house to put him to bed....noooo! He's treating you as a doormat. That will make you feel bad.

allgonebellyup · 25/06/2008 22:22

thanks but i am already on the highest dose of ADs that my doc is allowed to prescribe. i am miserable but hey-ho.

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MsDemeanor · 25/06/2008 22:24

Oh, poor you. It sounds so hard. I think he is being staggeringly mean and disrespectful to you.
I'm sure it must feel a bit like being attacked when I suggest you do things differently, but I don't mean it to. I just want to say that you don't sound like a bad or unreasonable person, but you are being treated appallingly by your ex and his horrible mother, and maybe you feel you deserve it but you don't.
Maybe another type of AD would help, and possibly some counselling? You sound like you need a big hug, frankly, and someone to look after you a bit.

allgonebellyup · 26/06/2008 09:29

thanks..sometimes i get so frustrated with the whole thing, and my mum doesnt offer me any support which makes me really sad. She just said i was too good for him from the start and i should have learnt my lesson now.
But he is a great dad, i know he is not that happy in his new life, and he texts me all the time asking how ds is, and says that ds is the only thing that keeps him going.
So i guess i feel a bit sorry for him, he is stuck with a baby he didnt feel ready for, and a woman he met on the rebound.

i know he is still hurting from me rejecting him and i guess i let him see ds all the time as i know he is so unhappy without him.

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MsDemeanor · 27/06/2008 19:31

I'm really sorry you aren't getting any support from your family. That's . I'm sure he loves his son and I know you feel sorry for him, and guilty and full of regrets, but honestly, that does't give him the right to abuse you and stamp on your rights. You are unhappy too, and you count just as much. Don't put yourself last.

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