When you've had enough.

[Midnightworrier]

Don't even know where to start.
2025 was a tough year.
2026 is going to be tougher.

I've had as much as I can take.

When my life is over, is there an afterlife and if so will the shit I've had to put up with in this life follow me into the next.

Will I ever be free from it.

Hi OP,

We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

I don’t know what you’re going through @Midnightworrierand I don’t want to say anything unhelpful or minimising as I know from past experience how frustrating that is to be on the receiving end of when things are awful.

I’m not a person of faith myself but I wanted to say that I’m here, I hear you and I’m so very sorry you’re struggling

Thank you @throwawayimplantchat.

Everyday is a struggle. My dp has been off work for just over a year now with what was thought to be depression, stress and anxiety.

GP said 5 months ago that she thinks it's early onset dementia. He then had a stroke 7 weeks ago. Thankfully the stoke was mild.

Everyday I see that something isn't right.
We have no support whatsoever. No income at all as his SSP stoped 5 months ago.

I have 2 dd's. Youngest lives nearby and thinks I'm being mean when I try and discuss things with her. Yesterday dp dropped some stuff off to her and on the way (he's still driving) had a run in with the police, apparently the police van made a quick uturn infront of him and dp beeped his horn. This resulted in an argument between dp and the policeman. Don't know how he wasn't arrested for being argumentative and swearing.

It's a long process trying to get a diagnosis. And I'm dealing with this alone.

My other dd lives overseas and her partner left her 6 months ago. I went over just before Christmas to look after my dgd. A few hours after getting there she went absolutely crazy with me. They travelled back with me for Christmas and it was really hard. Her behaviour towards me is horrid. She fails to see that anyone other than her can have problems. Thankfully she went back a week ago.

I didn't have a great childhood and with everything I'm trying to manage I really hope that if there's an afterlife I don't see my mother and don't have the problems follow me.

I have spoken to my gp a few times about how I feel and all I get is shrugged off.

I don't think my life is all bad. It certainly isn't anything like it was a couple of years ago. I'm don't think I'm unhappy. I feel like a dark cloud is hanging over me and I can't shake it off.

it sounds like you need some respite to give you a chance to clear your head and breathe, hopefully allowing you to see a way forward.

is there anyone nearby who can help or you can talk to?

This all sounds extremely stressful, @Midnightworrier Can I ask if you're claiming the benefits you're entitled to? It will also be helpful to get a dementia diagnosis - the GP can arrange it - which should ease your path a little regarding financial and other help.

You could really use a break, couldn't you? Any chance your UK daughter would check in on DP while you go off to breathe fresh air in peace for a bit?

Go low contact with abroad daughter for a bit to give yourself space from any lingering animosity.

See if local daughter can help you carve out some breathing space to do something you enjoy once a week. For example, go for a swim or take a local walk if only around 2 blocks.

In my experience, with the NHS “he that shouts loudest often gets” so make sure your GP gets your husband into “ the system” for proper diagnosis and on the conveyor belt of care.

Do your own research about what benefits you’re entitled to. Fill in the forms, talk to Citizens Advice.

Meanwhile look after yourself because it sounds like you need to be a bit selfish and think about No1. Dont lose sight of who you are. Post DH stroke (poor chap) dont allow his health needs to undermine yours.

Im sorry life seems so heavy at present. Winter dark days dont help so get outside as much as you can and before you know it, Spring will be here.

Best wishes @Midnightworrier

MidnightWorrier what are you looking for? Are you searching for a faith if so what appeals to you ? It is hard to guide you if you don't know what you are searching for you.