dd is 20 months old and still not christened, is this bad?

[miarosemum]

basically i am a catholic but not the greatest sunday mass attendee! all my family are catholic (mum, nan, brothers and sister, cousins etc). i am your kind of easter and midnight mass at christmas kind of gal! shock horror i know but i do believe in my faith and i do want my daughter to be brought up catholic. she is now 19 months and she is still not baptised, my local churces are not within walking distance and i do not drive which really hinders me getting to church on a sunday which i know i need to be doing in order to be bring my dd into the catholic faith. does anyone else have these issues.

dd was 17 months because of money issues (not living close to family and they wanted to be there for it so it was pain to organise as well)

when she was christened i was 8 months preg with ds and he's 22 months now and still not done

in this case it's a godmother issue though. we rather stupidly offered the job to dp's sister as his brother had been godfather to dd (i'm an only child and he only has one brother and one sister so no other family)

unfortuanately since then she has become even more of a psychopath than ever before (think beating up her 65 year old father....) and neither of us want her to have anything to do with ds.... who by the way she's never even met but if we tell her no not only will she take it out on her parents but his mother will be pissed (crazy woman thinks sun shines out of her daughters arse) and she's helped us alot over the last few years and we don't want to upset her.

he'll have to be done before school though as it's a catholic school so we have 2 years to figure something out!

DD was baptised at the same time as DS, she was 26 months, he was 3 months. I'd ummed and aahed as to whether I'd bring them up RC or Anglican (I was lapsed RC, divorced & remarried). It was lovely, having them both baptised together.

Pinktulips - I might be speaking out of turn, but if you leave it too close to starting school, is there a risk they might doubt your motives? Is it an oversubscribed school?

miarosemum - maybe this is the kickstart your faith needs? You could try talking to your nearest priest(s) and see whether anyone could bring you to church. If he's got any sense, he'd be delighted to welcome "a lost sheep" back into the fold

my dd2 is 12 months and we are no where near getting her done yet. my niece and nephew are 3 and 12 months respectively and my sis is waiting for the new baby to be born and getting them all done together. she is 4 months pg.

our issue is with money, togther me and dp ahve a largge family and a lot of friends. plus time. dp is always working at the time we would ahve to see the vicar. but we are hoping to get it done this summer.

thank you everyone for your replys, so i am not the only one with an unbaptised toddler! i know in the catholic faith the priest likes them to be baptised as early as poss but hey! i spoke to my aunty who is a practising catholic and goes to mass every week with her 5 dcs, and she said she did'nt get her ds baptised untill he was 4 so she could get him into the connected parish school! so i dont feel so bad now! and marybs i like the idea of being a lost sheep and think i will get down there this sunday, oh i feel all motivated nowxx

MaryBS.... tis a lovely local school with a grand total of 80 pupils. i don't think they'd give a toss whether he was christened of not but as it's an RC school they do all the religious stuff in school and all the prep for communion and confirmation. he'd be left out of a lot of things if he wasn't done.

plus there is the fact that i do want him done..... just silly godmother issues holding us up at the moment. a friend who i'd love to do it hasn't christened her own son as she doesn't feel strongly about religion so i can't ask her really can i?

miarosemum.... don't worry about the priest. i've heard of people not getting their kids done til 8 years and the priests rarely make a comment.

the priest who did dd wasn't a bit concerned that we didn't live in the parish, weren't married, dd was 17 months old and i was 8 months pregnant

If she's godmother, will she definitely have more to do with you? Will she take it that seriously? I can't remember what the limit on numbers of godparents are, but maybe value of the others can outweigh the downer of having her as a godmother.

As for your friend - I wish I'd chosen more wisely when my two were done, but what's done is done...

As it's a tradition and not a Biblical practice I don't see why it should be a problem to anyone and most definitely not bad.

i don't think she would get involved but dp is extremely worried that with his brother as dd's godfather if she is ds's godmother if anything were to happen to us the courts might see that as valid reason to entrust the kids into their custody (we live in ireland so unfortunately it is possible for that to happen here, and we have no will made up at present)

that would be a very bad thing

TM, in catholic religion a child is still soiled by origional sin and not a member of the catholic community until christened. it also means they cannot partake of any of the other religious milestones such as communion, confirmation, marriage, etc. so it is slightly more than a tradition, it is a vital ceremony for the child to undergo in order to enter the catholic community.

our priest who did dd was lovely, he took such joy in explaining that the ceremony is the community welcoming the child into the world and into the faith, and it is the parents and godparents declaration that they will protect and love the child and raise them as members of the catholic faith. he loved the fact that it was a chance for the whole community to get together to celebrate a new life

It is still a tradition because there is no Biblical basis for that. Christening only started in the Middle Ages so for the first few hundred years AD people weren't doing it. I don't believe that that means people only started going to Heaven then, especially when Jesus told people they would be Heaven.

It is an important tradition to Catholics and Anglicans (although the Anglican church now recognises that) but it is still a tradition.

erm..... jesus was baptised? by john the baptist.

it was only in the middle ages that it started being done at birth by the parents rather than at puberty but baptism and in the first 1000 years or so AD christening have always been an integral part of the faith.

the methods and ceremonies have changed yes, but the principal of cleansing the person/baby of sin and welcoming them into the religious community are long standing traditions that do go back to biblical times.

either way, like i said already it is a necessary part of raising a child to be catholic and they cannot receive any of the other sacraments.

if they don't have it done posted mid sentance there!

Only if you care.

Exactly, He was done as an adult. Whenever someone is baptised in The Bible is done as a decision and a public declaration of ones own faith. If I was at home I could give a lot of quotes from The Bible about Baptism, but I'm not and about to go out.

Like I said "it is an important tradition", obviously so if the Church doesn't allow other things without it being done.

yes, but we have confirmation at 12 when the young person decides for themselves whether they want to continue in the faith. christening is an inprtant welcoming ceremony that also offers spiritual protection to the child and provides them with spiritual mentors (godparents)

just because it's a tradition that's 'only' a thousand years old doesn't make it unimportant to us as catholics.

just out of curiosity, are you RC?

miarosemum's op was about her concerns that she wants her dd raised as catholic.... christinening her is the first step to doing so, whether you want to call it tradition or biblical practice is slightly irrelevant to the point at hand.... to be raised catholic a child must be baptised.

sorry, preg brain affecting typing a wee bit there