Can I have advice/support from Christian mners?

[purplespink]

I was brought up as a Catholic and still identify as one; I semi-occasionally go to church (used to be regular but can’t muster the energy right now due to baby), my dc go to a Catholic school and are baptised/making HC’s etc. I feel that, as I was brought up as a Catholic from birth, that I’m struggling to differentiate between what I have been brought up to believe vs what I actually believe. For context, my gps (raised me) were heavily involved in the church community; I went to mass 2x a week, Catholic primary and secondary, only listened to religious music, went to church related clubs, went to talks/church meetings / Alpha courses from a very young age. You get the idea. It’s not the same for my DC; I bring them up in the faith but it’s not hammered in every day. Whether that’s right or not, I’m not sure. That’s actually besides the point I’m trying to make. I think that rationally, there must be a God for all of this to exist and because of Jesus. But I pray to God every night begging for an emotional connection/relationship with Him and Jesus, beg him to call me and I don’t feel/hear anything. I desperately want to have that relationship with God and to say without a doubt He exists because I feel him in my heart, but I would say He exists based on a more scientific / evidence basis. I’ve been praying this way for a while. Why doesn’t He answer/do anything to make me feel Him? I’m sure it’s supposed to be that if you go asking Him for a relationship with Him that He will give you one? Sorry if I haven’t worded this brilliantly, I have a baby and I’m sleep deprived but how can I try to get this relationship/feeling? So grateful for any replies!

purplespink, I hope you feel a bit better. There are Catholic gifts of the Holy Spirit church and prayer groups to now. One exists I believe in Westminster and in Tooting. https://www.godisableccrpg.org.uk/gallery/
You should be able to see the Holy Spirit active in these church's or feel it more for an experience and then return to your church if you wanted to.
I go to an anglican church as a non demontional and was baptised as a Catholic to and went to a Catholic school and do not disagree with any of what they believe.

I came across one of these Catholic Holy Spirit services in London and I have not attended myself. I have felt the breath and wind Holy Spirit in a Catholic traditional church during an intervention for my health that I had, a healing miracle.

Also, does your church film live online when you cannot attend you could watch online or watch it when you are less busy. Do you things to try and help others that you sensibly can do which Jesus suggests to. Some people when you are trying to reach God show him some spiritual commitment. For example I am not asking you to do this- Jesus knew those followinng him for 3 days where spiritually hungry and fed them. Could you deny yourself a favourite item for a period of time favourite jewelry to wear could do whilst you are trying to reach out to God other than what I have written already. This could show some spiritual commitment.

Sometimes we put up barriers because we think we should, because others doubt or are sure and we think our journey ought to mirror theirs. I think it's clear you have a strong faith even if you doubt, even if you question, even if you don't 'feel it'. You come back to it and so somewhere you do know.

Prayer transforms us, not God. It sounds as if you're longing to know Him better and feel His presence is transforming you, into someone who is seeking to grow deeper and have those questions answered.

What a lovely sentence - 'God is often a whisper'.

The first thing I would advise is to stop putting So much pressure on yourself to attend church. You don’t need to to go to a physical place to worship / pray. A quiet time or place at home or wherever is all you need. Just a moment even.

Try to trust that God is there despite the fact you don’t feel a connection. Sometimes it happens that rather than a big sign just easily given - instead you are given opportunities to find that connection yourself , not a test as such but work for the soul. ❤️

God often speaks to me through through the Scriptures. I find that the psalms are a great place to find some communion with Him. I also love listening to Christian testimonies and love how they are all recorded by people from vastly different backgrounds; atheists, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, the agnostic, satanists even, and once they come into a saving knowledge of Christ, they all experience the same thing; they still have that same sense of being rescued by an all loving God through Jesus' sacrifice and experience His redemptive power.

Personally, I have received immense healing from long standing psychological wounds through Jesus which was just too specific to be coincidence.

There was one situation where God felt incredibly far away during a very difficult time. I was praying and praying for Him to intercede and all I got was silence, for eight months. At the end of these 8 months, I was actually on the floor just sobbing about the situation and through my tears, I had this flash of all the times in my life when I had begged for his help and he helped me. Suddenly I cried out 'everything good comes from God!' (I don't know where it came from) and suddenly I 'heard' a voice (more like a loud thought that wasn't mine) and it said 'endure a little longer' and in that moment I knew it was nearly over. And it was. It all ended 2 months later and everything was ok. The silence was torturous but I'll never forget when He spoke and it felt like a curse in my life had been broken. This isnt the first time He connected with me after a period of seeming indifference. I watched a fantastic video a few days ago and will try to find it.

Here is the video. Quite transformative stuff!

Hmm...I've always been sceptical of Baucham due to his adherence to Biblical patriarchy theory.

https://books.google.com/books?id=8lAqvhvaEtAC&pg=PA59

Otoh ofc this doesn't mean this video is incorrect,, it was very moving.

I am a very new Catholic (baptised and confirmed this year) so it’s been an entirely different journey for me

but I find that having reminders of my faith around my house and in my life (the Westminster Cathedral shop is exceptional if you’re in London) helps me think about god more. The hallow app is also really good - it has the daily readings on it plus a lot of other resources if you have the paid for version

sometimes I wonder what I was thinking in doing this as an adult but I find that going to mass always gives me what I need spiritually- something in the homily or the readings always reminds me why I am there

can you talk to a priest for some guidance as well?

@purplespink we all have restless hearts that will bot be at peace until they rest in the Lord, according to St Agustine.

I'm not sure if there are Cursillo retreats anywhere near you? They are 3 day Catholic retreats that have a number of talks covering where you are now, the relationship with God and where you want to be. Every course is different, since , although the talk titles are the same, each presenter will give a different look at the topic. They are excellent at strengthening faith. I went to one in Northern Ireland... and it really turbo charged my faith and relationship with God.
They are run in Derry.. if you ever fancy a run over.But it really is best if you have something local so you can followup with people on a similar journey.

God bless in your quest to find real meaning and truth in your life!

Beautiful description.

sometimes faith can feel like we’re walking across a wobbly rope bridge and other times a big strong suspension bridge. But whatever we perceive, the bridge (Jesus) is solid and will never let us fall.