Lost teenage boy - Nietschze?

[tostaky]

I know i probably spelt his name wrong!
DS15, middle child, under camhs for low mood, self harm (just for context so you know he is getting help) was telling me last night how lost he felt, no point in life, no goals, what is this all about?
he is super academic, all about stem subjects (and also on the pathway for ASD assessment, he can be very literal too).

i was wondering if Nietzchse might be a good read for him? I have not read any of his books though.
i was wondering if you wise people had any recommendations (nietzche) or otherwise.

when i was a teen and i went through a very short and not that intense phase of wondering about the purpose of life i read Cioran ( the trouble of being born). After a couple of pages of “nuggets” of “wisdom” i knew i was “that” desperate. I dont want to recommend this book to DS as i didn’t particularly like this form of text. Also DS being quite literral im a bit worried he might interpret some aphorisms wrongly/too literally.

would nietsche be ok and help him see the light, not be desperate about finding a purpose? Would and thus spoke Zarahoustea be a good choice?
Would you recommend another book, another author instead?
This request is in addition to all the help he receives, not instead of. Thank you

I am also thing about Sartre and nausea which i absolutely loved but perhaps it is less explicit in the text (for my literral boy who finds infering intentions from book characters difficult- still predicted a 7 in eng lit but i worry sartre might be a bit too much? )

The Myth of Sisyphus by Camus is a great book for disaffected teens.

Nietzsche is an entertaining provocateur when it comes to philosophy, but not sure if great for inspiration for a teenager who is feeling down.

I get the 321 email newsletter from James Clear which is a good one for very short, smart advice on life and that might be good for a teen. He has some books as well, though I've not read them.

Matt Haig's 'Reasons to stay alive' is a very readable and uplifting story of how he found meaning and clawed himself back from suicidal feelings.

I don't think giving a depressed kid Nietzsche is a great way to get them out of a funk, it's what they'd chose to read to wallow IMO.

Hemmingway maybe, something a bit thoughtful but lighter? The Old Man and The Sea was what I was thinking.

Jerome's Three men in a boat might also keep the lighthearted side afloat, if you'll excuse the pun.

Absolutely not Nietzsche.

not great for a depressed teenager.
French existentialism is traditional. I read Camus but there are other options.

honestly philosophy isn’t your best bet here.

Definitely not Nietzsche. His philosophy is nihilistic and the worst thing for a teenage boy who is borderline depressed.

What about steering him towards Jung and buddhist philosophy which may equip him with tools to find peace and happiness? It doesn’t need to be embraced as a religion but instead as a way of thinking, assessing valuesand navigating a difficult world.

And steer him towards some of the beautiful writing from American philosophers such as Thoreau and Walt Whitman? I loved Leaves of Grass as a teenager. It does nothing for me these days but it delighted my teenage mind.

Also, what about some fun but clever fiction such as Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? It sounds like he needs a lift

Thanks a lot all - I am glad i asked!
I will have a look at all your recommendations

Jordan Peterson: 12 Rules for Life

Camus is not a bad choice. Zen and the Art of Motor Cycle Maintenance might be good. Or Salinger? Catcher in the Rye? I feel like those appeal to teens. Nietzsche is really dense, quite mad in places and very nihilistic.

To @StarlightRobot’s point, I seem to remember enjoying Catcher in the Rye as a young person but I can’t vouch for it anymore - maybe someone more recently familiar with it can comment? I remember the whimsy of it, and the peace I felt when I read it.

On this same point, this reminds me of the novel Leonard and Hungry Paul. This is a calming, beautiful story about two male friends. It has been adapted into a TV series, and released this week on iPlayer, so he could watch instead of/as well as reading the book.

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2025/oct/17/leonard-and-hungry-paul-review-this-julia-roberts-narrated-comedy-is-the-perfect-antidote-to-modern-life?fbclid=IwY2xjawNfB0xleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHtGPWyY3qGrNMm8ekNxkwN9_BXLTMqY_-G3aymkwvy2YfiWp-cbRF84D63wG_aem_J2szMoTX6cp-9sawKaN18w

Cross-posted with you @Zhu - great minds…!

Please , no. Nietzsche is what all toxic hypermasculine douchebags love to cite, together with Kerouac and Bukowski. You don't want him to associate to these men, I promise.

Reading about stoicism might be a good idea for him. The Greek ones, not the contemporary.

The problem with Nietzsche is that it’s too easy to read as a prescription for nihilism, when in fact nihilism is the diagnosis and the prescription is the creation of new meaning. I think Nietzsche would be horrified by how he is currently perceived.

OP, for your son you could also think about Dostoevsky. C&P or the Brothers Karamazov- both deal with struggles with meaning/meaninglessness. Also they are real page turners.

Bukowski lovers are a huge red flag for me too.

I agree, and to what whatwouldlilacerullodo · Today 12:53
said too.

Watch out for Sartre as well. How to get really depressed age 15.

Years ago, when my son was a troubled teen, he and I got into the Stoics - Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations in particular. It really helped him - we still chat about stoicism now.

Please have him read the Stoics! They gave great advice in how to lead a worthwhile life and teach strength and values. Additionally there is a modern Stoic movement and it attracts lots of lost young men.
Here's a great link
https://dailystoic.com/what-is-stoicism-a-definition-3-stoic-exercises-to-get-you-started/

i’ll have a look at the stoics too 😊

I’m going to by honest - the only thing which helped my (very clever and funny) DS cope with being neurodivergent was Sertraline. The autistic spectrum brain doesn’t produce enough of the correct happy hormones. It was a total game changer for him. He got it at 16 and is on the lowest dose. It really enabled him to live his best life and be successful. Good luck xxx

@Cluborange666 thank you but as i said in my OP, this is in addition to the help he receives, not instead of.
when i was younger the existencialists held my hand every night and made me feel less alone although with each last page of the book, the loneliness and the unease came back. If a book can provide a temporary respite, then i’ll buy it for him.

Glad your son is doing better, teengehood is such a trick period!

DS is doing slightly better and the copies of the nausea and the outsider remain unopened in his bedroom.
i will hold off on kierkegaard for now!!!

I honestly don't think that Nietzsche would be a good suggestion. Too easy just to read it in order to reinforce a teen-veneer of nihilism, adopted to salve the fear and sadness and uncertainty of growing up.

I know a lot of people hate the book I'm about to mention, but when I read it in early teens I found it moving and consoling,

The Catcher in the Rye. There, I said it. Lots of people seem to hate it because, in their view, the narrator character is an arrogant little prick. Perhaps that it because they read it as adults rather than as children or adolescents.

All I saw was pathos, sadness, a desperation to be held. The arrogance is a veneer and the vulnerability is immense. And of course it ultimately turns out to be about therapy, and the experience, within therapy, of finally being held.

For some reason, another book that comes to mind is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night. A troubled boy, finding his way throug difficult experiences.

Not sure why the focus is so much on philosophy. Something that might be less challenging and bring more joy. Might be more helpful. At that age, when I read philosophy I'm sure, looking back, this reading was more about enacting my self-definition as an outsider, expressing - rather than informing or reflecting on - my unhappiness.

If it wasn't for the fact that boys tend to be Austen-resistant, I would recommend Sense and Sensibility if I wanted to encourage exploration of stoicism.

Might Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
be good?

A lot of older teenagers love it.