Can anyone recommend a religion, or religious practice for me?

[bumblebramble]

I’m Christian by upbringing and culture, and I’m still drawn in by the gospels, and their teachings about a loving god. I find the idea that humans can conceive of such love, despite falling so far short, as compelling as the actual or literal existence of a deity.

I think I would quite like to find some sort of Christian or Christian adjacent church. But I struggle so much with the patriarchy that always seems to go hand in hand with Christianity.

I was groomed as a teenager by a prominent church member, and as such I’m hyper sensitive to the disclosures of abuses against women and dc. And also to the undercurrents of purity culture, gender inequalities, etc.

I’ve explored Buddhism and Hinduism, but they don’t resonate deeply with me. And I think I’d have the same struggles with the other Abrahamic faiths as I do with Christianity. I have an academic interest in European pagan practices. But what I’m looking for specifically is something Christian, but maybe that leans more on the gospels than on St Paul?

Does it exist? Or has anyone found a place where they feel comfortable as a 21st c woman?

Or, alternatively, how do you resolve the conflict if it’s something you feel too?

I think you would be most successful looking at what is available local to you, rather than a particular denomination. Are there churches local to you where the leader is a woman? Do you know any local Christians who you could ask for recommendations, and they wouldn't just recommend their church?
Churches are made up of people who can abuse and hurt people in all sorts of ways, whatever the church's particular belief focus is. I think my Anglican church could be the kind of place you are looking for. Obviously horrendous abuse has happened in Anglican churches, and individual churches are different, and change over time, and people have different experiences even in the same congregation.
I don't think there's any shortcut to trying a few places, speaking to people, and seeing if you feel comfortable. I hope you find a place where you feel you can belong.

It sounds like you are looking for a community but it might be better to start with finding a spiritual practice that appeals to you. The community will follow. Have you come across Christian Contemplative Prayer and Meditation? There are a variety of groups. Have a look at The Julian Meetings. They are non-denominational so might be a good place to start. Also you can just start a meditation practice by yourself, hand it over to God and a path will emerge. If social justice is your thing you could look at the Franciscan third order. Can you go on retreats? Maybe try a few, see where it leads. The Retreat Association is an excellent resource. Look at the Quiet Garden Movement. Jesuit retreat houses are very good for discernment and paradoxically work hard to dial down the patriarchy and misogyny. Jesuits in Britain There is a lot more to Christianity than churches. Start exploring. I don’t have an answer to the patriarchy problem, but it is possible to find a way.

Try the Religious Society of Friends, aka Quakers. There’s info about the here: https://www.quaker.org.uk/

Our local church is Methodist. They serve our local community really well, as they have rooms that cater for different groups. Every day there’s a drop in, they run a parent and child group, drama club, youth club, exercise club, a choir, and a craft group. Everyone is welcome.

My family are Quakers. Very peaceful and calming.

You might enjoy watching The Chosen. Its a TV series re-enacting the gospels and I've found it a really good way to feel more connected to my faith and to the character of Jesus https://watch.thechosen.tv/#carousels

I go to a CofE church that is full of strong women and not patriarchal at all. I also struggle with Paul sometimes. I think most Christians struggle with some parts of their faith - I suppose its more like a journey than having reached a destination if that makes any sense.

Thank you - lots of suggestions to consider,

Dudeism it's the most laid back religion.

Have a look at Unitarianism https://www.unitarian.org.uk/who-we-are/radical-roots/

I think perhaps you should look again before you abandon Christianity to see if you can change some of your perceptions.
I am a woman and a Christian and am very happy to be. I have been for over four decades.
Try to form a personal relationship with your faith and your creator.

Also, I think knowing that God loves everybody equally a man or a woman, slave or free slave as the Bible tells us in Galatians 3:28. The spiritual laws Jesus gave us our simple...to love God 1st and treat others fairly and the Beatitudes frame as well in Matthew 3. The Ten Commandments is a guide as well that Jesus has brought to its logical conclusion. God is fair and just and many do not have the right image at all. I am from an ethnic background and neither had any issues with racism or being a female and my faith.

The change is happening as well and all the rectors at my church are females and God blesses abundantly the terrific work with us in the community.

As Christians we should focus on Jesus Christ as it came out of the former Archbishop's lips himself as he the one who we should be focusing on as is the bridge and gateway to God. The scandals which I don't support but focus on Christ-they are trying now trying though to uproot these scandals from happening into new leadership and direction. It is a good time to come back to the church.

You can be as private or quiet as you want in some church's.

I want to tell you as well, no other faiths offer the beauty of the Holy Spirit at work and comforter which can be a friend for life and has got me through my life. Jesus said he will send his believers the Holy Spirit as a comforter which get at baptism. Focus on developing spirituality as well as a Christian. The potential of the Holy Spirit is all church's and it is dependent on how your have faith and worship.

Best of luck in your journey

Hi, also this thread may help you deciding, it is on short experiences of posters on this forum mainly of being Christian.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christian-mumsnetters/5246268-who-are-you-and-what-led-you-here

Hi @bumblebramble I also came on here to recommend the Unitarians.

My church (Edinburgh- you can watch on zoom) is the most lovely, joyful and free spirited place. The minister is an incredible woman and lots of the congregation came from similar backgrounds to yourself. Me, I have no interest in organised religion but the peaceful reflective moments I have found there are just wonderful.

They are more about spirituality than religion- indeed, the minister starts each week by saying "all are welcome here, of any faith or no faith, as our only doctrine is love".

I was made to go to church as a kid

I'm a liberal so didnt like the anti gay, anti women stuff and left

I've seen so many awful Christians, and people who do evil shit and then hide behind their Christian image

As such, I still believe in god but have no religion.

I like praying, I feel it helps me with my mh and to feel grateful and to sometimes make sense of things.

And I try to be kind etc and to love everybody regardless of how they live their lives

I'm not perfect, and dont preach to anyone. But I do like being kind when i'm out and about x

Edit - as a survivor, I think you're doing amazingly xx

I found (or rather, was found by) the Lord Jesus Christ as an adult before I re-engaged with church. (I had been on the periphery of church as a child, though not raised in a Christian home).

It was over a year before I connected with a church after I entered into relationship with Jesus. During that year His Holy Spirit taught me daily in a personal way through the Bible.

My advice would be not to worry too much about finding a church or a religion right now but rather start a relationship with Jesus and then let Him lead you.