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Original poster

Am I praying wrong

43 replies

CactusFlr · 04/08/2025 18:32

I feel quite selfish writing this. I live with my parents, I have mental health problems and so does my mum. We've always lived in council/social housing. The house is old and has lots of things wrong with it but we've avoided having cosmetic stuff done because of MH issues. Completely unexpectedly my mum has inherited money. My parents have decided to buy a home for us. We have been searching for over a year and it feels like we're never going to find anything suitable. There is just nothing coming on the market in the right place/right price. I pray (I'm a catholic) for the right house to come up. Its so frustrating, I find it mentally draining searching the housing websites day after day. We are so fortunate to have this opportunity. What's making it worse is a year ago a house came up one month after the money came through. But we discounted because it wasn't quite right. Now a year later I wish we'd taken it. I truly thought God would send me a sign if it was the right house and I just didn't feel it. I know there are a lot more serious issues going on in the world but this house would make such a difference to our lives, my parents aren't getting any younger (both is 70s). I feel like with every day passing we're running out of time. I was hoping we'd find somewhere before winter. I've prayed to St Jude, St Joseph, St Rita. I wonder is it because I don't pray enough, is it because I don't go to church now (I regularly went before the pandemic but never got back into it because of my anxiety). Is it because I question my faith/God when I see the starvation in Gaza? I feel like having a faith and mental health issues don't go together. I pray the rosary, I pray for other people. I feel it's selfish to pray for myself for 'worldy' things.

OP posts:
Iocainepowder · 13/08/2025 07:49

Firstly, it’s a generally bad time for the housing market Op as people go on holiday. September make pick up in terms of new houses on the market.

Also, god (who doesn’t exist) doesn’t control everyone’s will or life. I’m an atheist, so while my house may be right for you, my decision on when to put it on the market.

Your religious beliefs are hindering you here op.

JohnWickAteMyHamster · 13/08/2025 07:52

It's really unhelpful to the OP that people have started piling on to bash their faith (and in such a horrible way too, fuck me, some people here have no tolerance or compassion at all, do they?) this is posted in philosophy/religion so please let the OP discuss their religion in peace!!

Prayer is so complicated to me, OP - I have a faith, I'm a BIG fan of Jesus and I definitely think Gos listens to our prayers, but rationally it doesn't make much sense, does it?

I don't think you are doing it wrong. Prayer should be a source of comfort I think, like a chat with a friend, rather than a list of things we want?

Good luck with the house hunting, it can be a really daunting and stressful thing to do!

Iocainepowder · 13/08/2025 08:08

JohnWickAteMyHamster · 13/08/2025 07:52

It's really unhelpful to the OP that people have started piling on to bash their faith (and in such a horrible way too, fuck me, some people here have no tolerance or compassion at all, do they?) this is posted in philosophy/religion so please let the OP discuss their religion in peace!!

Prayer is so complicated to me, OP - I have a faith, I'm a BIG fan of Jesus and I definitely think Gos listens to our prayers, but rationally it doesn't make much sense, does it?

I don't think you are doing it wrong. Prayer should be a source of comfort I think, like a chat with a friend, rather than a list of things we want?

Good luck with the house hunting, it can be a really daunting and stressful thing to do!

But op’s problem of finding a house to buy is a practial one, not a religious one.

Most people when they want to buy a house go on Rightmove or contact estate agents and start a usually long process to find a house. The market is difficult for everyone right now for many reasons, it is nothing to do with god and op needs to understand many people are impacted by this, and she is not going to receive special priority because she prays. She needs a more practical approach to solve her problem while she prays.

Bananachimp · 13/08/2025 08:12

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Battels · 13/08/2025 08:19

OP, a far more useful thing to do would be to post on the Property forum here, explaining what type of house you want, and in approximately what areas. People on here (unlike St Rita and co) are very generous about helping.

Also, what help are you getting for your MH problems?

NewsdeskJC · 13/08/2025 08:36

I am not a believer. However, you clearly are and surely part of the power of prayer is to enable you to reflect and frame your needs.
Maybe reflect on that there will never be a perfect home and going to look at what is available might give you an answer.
Its such a big decision.

LillyPJ · 13/08/2025 08:50

JohnWickAteMyHamster · 13/08/2025 07:52

It's really unhelpful to the OP that people have started piling on to bash their faith (and in such a horrible way too, fuck me, some people here have no tolerance or compassion at all, do they?) this is posted in philosophy/religion so please let the OP discuss their religion in peace!!

Prayer is so complicated to me, OP - I have a faith, I'm a BIG fan of Jesus and I definitely think Gos listens to our prayers, but rationally it doesn't make much sense, does it?

I don't think you are doing it wrong. Prayer should be a source of comfort I think, like a chat with a friend, rather than a list of things we want?

Good luck with the house hunting, it can be a really daunting and stressful thing to do!

But it sounds like prayer is a source of discomfort to OP! She's upset that it's not working and is blaming herself. It would be much better (and far more effective) if she put the time and energy into looking for a house instead of asking God to find one for her. It's really unhelpful to tell her to keep having a 'chat with her friend' who's not helping her at all and isn't a source of comfort for her. And are you saying we can discuss religion as long as we don't say anything against it?

GentleSheep · 13/08/2025 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You're completely off-topic in this thread. If you want to talk about what God is or isn't doing, then make a new thread to do so.

Bananachimp · 13/08/2025 10:18

GentleSheep · 13/08/2025 10:05

You're completely off-topic in this thread. If you want to talk about what God is or isn't doing, then make a new thread to do so.

Show quote history

Well it's not 'completely off-topic' though is it? Off topic would be me talking about a childcare issue or a neighbour dispute or how to clean a carpet.

Jennalong · 13/08/2025 10:19

GentleSheep · 13/08/2025 10:05

You're completely off-topic in this thread. If you want to talk about what God is or isn't doing, then make a new thread to do so.

Show quote history

@GentleSheep

This isn't your thread , you have no right to suggest someone moves along and makes their own .

Everyone is entitled to have their opinion and you are not the moderator of it .

Of course you are also entitled , but how would you like the suggestion you start your own ?

LillyPJ · 13/08/2025 10:23

GentleSheep · 13/08/2025 10:05

You're completely off-topic in this thread. If you want to talk about what God is or isn't doing, then make a new thread to do so.

Show quote history

Not off topic at all. The OP was asking why her prayers aren't working. Talking about what God is or isn't doing is completely relevant.

GentleSheep · 13/08/2025 11:05

Jennalong · 13/08/2025 10:19

@GentleSheep

This isn't your thread , you have no right to suggest someone moves along and makes their own .

Everyone is entitled to have their opinion and you are not the moderator of it .

Of course you are also entitled , but how would you like the suggestion you start your own ?

Show quote history

Well, some of those 'opinions' have now been modded out! So it's not just me that sees what's happening.

Original poster
CactusFlr · 13/08/2025 14:34

I am so upset by what's happened to this thread. I thought posting in a religion/philosophy section I would be able to interact with like minded people who might be able to offer me a bit of comfort/perspective, to see the bigger picture. It's so disheartening to read what's been written because of something I've posted. Thank you to the people who have written constructive comments.

OP posts:
LillyPJ · 13/08/2025 16:35

CactusFlr · 13/08/2025 14:34

I am so upset by what's happened to this thread. I thought posting in a religion/philosophy section I would be able to interact with like minded people who might be able to offer me a bit of comfort/perspective, to see the bigger picture. It's so disheartening to read what's been written because of something I've posted. Thank you to the people who have written constructive comments.

I think almost all the comments are trying to give you a bit of comfort and perspective. You are probably only disheartened because sometimes the perspective isn't the same as yours. Try to read the ones that make you feel uncomfortable with an open mind. It may help.

erinaceus · 13/08/2025 16:48

Hi @CactusFlr There’s a Christian Mumsnetters board which typically gets relevant responses for Christians who post faith-related questions -> https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christian-mumsnetters

For your questions about prayer, it might help you to understand different perspectives on prayer in general. Questions about unanswered prayer are not new and I found it helpful to understand different ways others have thought about this throughout history. Here are some resources I’ve found helpful:

Two books by Pete Greig How to Pray and God on Mute. The second one is relevant to your situation as it is about unanswered prayer.
Prayer by Philip Yancey, more involved than the other two but still accessible.

Gffbjjgfddbjkkm · 13/08/2025 17:37

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Original poster
CactusFlr · 13/08/2025 19:10

erinaceus · 13/08/2025 16:48

Hi @CactusFlr There’s a Christian Mumsnetters board which typically gets relevant responses for Christians who post faith-related questions -> https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christian-mumsnetters

For your questions about prayer, it might help you to understand different perspectives on prayer in general. Questions about unanswered prayer are not new and I found it helpful to understand different ways others have thought about this throughout history. Here are some resources I’ve found helpful:

Two books by Pete Greig How to Pray and God on Mute. The second one is relevant to your situation as it is about unanswered prayer.
Prayer by Philip Yancey, more involved than the other two but still accessible.

Thank you for the book recommendations, I'll check them out.

OP posts:
Allthesnowallthetime · 14/08/2025 20:49

You say that you thought God would give you a sign if it were the right house.

But God has never promised that s/he would give signs.

I think we are given the wisdom to make good choices and that there's no such thing as the "right" house, partner or job.

You can make good choices, OP. And God is present with you in it.

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