Afterlife/heaven as a Catholic

[anxioussmess]

Hi. So let me explain what’s going on as I’m a bit of a mess. For context I was brought up catholic but once I got to adulthood I stopped going to church. I only really went as a child as my mum wanted me to. As an adult I was happy to just have fun and enjoy my life and religion has never been part of it. My mum however has always been a practising Catholic and says god answers her prayers etc and goes to church.

to now. I’m very early 40s. As a child I was always afraid of dying. Not how I would go, but scared that there’s nothing for eternity after we die. I had forgotten about this more or less, or put it to the very back of my mind, until about a month ago when I was unwell (nothing at all serious) and these thoughts came back to me. They now consume a lot of my time. A few good friends suggested going back to church to explore my faith as an adult and I have done that, I’ve found a Catholic Church and been a few times and do find it very comforting. However, although as a Catholic we are meant to believe in a heaven, so many people say that religion is just a comfort blanket and not really true, and then I’ve seen/read so many stories of ppl who claim to have had near death experiences or loved ones have died and then later weird stuff happens to them, and these stories do seem likely true but how can we truly know?

this is all eating me up. I’m already on anxiety medication and I’m now on a waiting list for CBT. Any other ideas or stories ppl want to share?

ive heard feathers are a sign from a deceased loved one, particularly white feathers, and I have seen 2 white feathers lately but they weren’t very big and were on the road/garden so maybe just from a bird although I want to believe otherwise

Whilst I believe strongly in life after death, I also cannot see any downside to believing this. If I die and after there is oblivion( which I don't believe there will be) then I have lost nothing by living my life in the belief that it is just the first chapter of something far better. My brother was diagnosed with a brain tumour late forties. He had such a strong faith that in the 2 years up until his death, I saw no fear in him. He was almost excited at the thought of meeting Jesus at last face to face. It was quite humbling to be around him. I guess others may find it a comfort to think they just return to dust. What is making you so anxious about it all?

@vdbfamily I honestly don’t know why I fear it so much all of a sudden. If like ppl say it’s just like going to sleep then I won’t mind as I know I’ll wake up at some point. But if I’m not awake ever again then it’s just the whole of eternity being nothing and it terrifies me.

sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. Can I ask if u have ever had any signs that might appear to be from him from heaven

I’m a Catholic and I certainly believe in an afterlife. When my dear dad died suddenly and unexpectedly I asked him for a sign that he was ok. I was putting some loaves of bread in the freezer and I had gone to the old one, not the one my mum used. On one of the shelves there was an envelope with my name on in my dad’s writing. I took this as my dad saying I’m fine.

@JoanChittysorry to hear about your dad. That’s a lovely story and I really don’t mean to be such a sceptic here with my next question but is there any chance that could have been an old envelope?

It’s not the age of the envelope - it’s the fact it was there when a sign was needed.

Death is not the end. I used to think it was, because I was sucked into the ‘militant atheist’ side of things. But I’m older now, I have seen and done more, and I’ve had my own signs and my prayers answered.

Yes it was 15 years ago. The point is I would never opened the old freezer, normally as it was at my parents house. Had it been there a long time, I have no idea. I took it as a sign from my dad and it gave me great comfort.

Oh ok fair enough then and thank you both for your answers. I guess I’m just at a crossroads in my life where I want so badly to believe but it’s almost as if I need proof if u see what I mean? My mum has had various prayers answered over the years and some seem really weird like how could that have possibly happened and so then I want to believe. But also how do we not know it’s a strong coincidence? That’s where I get stuck

@OxfordInklingdo u mind sharing some of the prayers that have been answered?

I have not noticed any signs but to be fair have not been looking for any. There was a very odd thing when he actually died. My parents were at his side and my sister in law had left the room to read for a bit. I arrived a few minutes after he had died and my sister in law asked if it was stormy outside as at the time my DB had taken his last breath, she had been in this little quiet room and felt this really strong gust of wind blow past her. There were no windows open and I really believe he had to say goodbye to her as she had not been at his side when his spirit left his body. ❤️

@vdbfamilysee that’s interesting and could well have been him saying bye for sure cos if no other explanation then that could be plausible I guess

I am a Catholic and believe in heaven. If you want reassurance or more understanding maybe talk to your priest.

I have had relatives and one priest who were worried about death and had comfort from their faith.

Overwhelming fear about death may also part of the anxiety. If this is getting worse you might need a medication review. As well as friends, family, priests, nuns etc God has given us professionals to help. It isn’t one or the other.

I was brought up to be religious but I don’t believe in any God and I don’t believe in an afterlife. I don’t believe prayers have any effect at all (except to make the one praying feel better). Yes, I find the thought of eternity very troubling but I know that’s illogical because I won’t know anything about it! I think "signs" and tales about white feathers etc. are just wishful thinking.

But I do believe that we all live on in the sense that everything we do or say to others has some sort of lasting effect. I still remember what some people said to me, or how they behaved, in conversations I had fifty years ago.

I am also comforted by the view of death described by Philip Pullman, in which the atoms that made up our bodies disperse to mingle with everything else:
We'll be alive again in a thousand blades of grass, and a million leaves; we'll be falling in the raindrops and blowing in the fresh breeze; we'll be glistening in the dew under the stars and the moon out there in the physical world.

For all the people who do believe, I have another question. Some ppl say u go straight to heaven after u die and that makes sense when ppl say weird stuff happens to them or souls coming to visit, leaning feathers etc, but then others say it’s a deep sleep until judgement day which indicates no heaven, so now I’m co fused

The way I understand that question is that when you die, you no longer live in time, and so you go from final breath to eternity without there being a noticeable pause.

As an anglican, I believe that when you die you are sleeping until Jesus comes again, and from what I've read, this is what the Bible says happens. So I don't believe in feathers, and people looking down at you from heaven and praying for the dead, but I have Catholic family members who do strongly believe in that, and I attended a Catholic funeral recently where it was alluded to in the service that the deceased was already in heaven, looking down on us.