Anyone Unitarian? Or have an opinion on this?

[thebecster]

I was baptised & confirmed CofE. I wanted to start going to church again, and went to 3 local CofE churches & didn't like any of them or feel happy there. I noticed a Unitarian church nearby, read up a bit on them, and decided to go. I've been twice now, with DS (they have a lovely Sunday school), and really enjoyed the service and being able to go a church where I feel happy again.

My question is whether it is a big deal for me to, instead of having DS christened CofE, to have a Unitarian dedication ceremony, and to take him to Unitarian church. I guess it means I'll be bringing him up Unitarian instead of CofE. This seems like a big decision to me, and am concerned that I haven't thought through the pitfalls - but what are they?

DH is CofE but not a churchgoer. He says he'll go to one Unitarian service & read up on them before he'd agree to DS being dedicated there instead of CofE but he agrees that our local churches aren't quite right for us, and agrees that what we've heard and read so far about Unitarian sounds closer to what we believe & practise as a family. Plus he has no intention of becoming a churchgoer, although he's glad that I take DS as he does believe in God.

In terms of my upbringing my Dad is Quaker, Mum's parents were ex-Plymouth Brethren & she used to go to Methodist Chapel then CofE more recently. DH's family are Church of Wales & Jewish.

Hi - I am! How exciting to meet someone else. I have to say you are really lucky to have a big Unitarian Church with a Sunday school. I go to a fellowship group in the evenings so no involvement with the children at all. I had my children baptised C of E and take them to the family service there. I was brought up C of E and my husband was too. I sort of went for the traditional route but I think if my husband had been keen and there was a church like yours I would have gone for it. I think it would be great to grow up with a liberal tradition and be encouraged to decide what to believe for yourself rather than there always being a right answer. Pitfalls - hmmm - well he won't be "baptised" so may not be able to get married in a church, be a C of E Godparent or be a member of the established church (but they are probably bad reasons for getting your DS baptised in the C of E). I suppose I feel in a way that I want my children to understand about the traditional Christian faith and know about stories from the bible because that is a foundation of our culture. But a great thing about the Unitarians is that they are not jealous or exclusive - lots of us go to C of E or other denominations as well. I do feel that having baptised DC and said all the things I said I have made a committment to bring them up in the church.

In your situation I would go for the Unitarian dedication and services and then ds will get lots of Christian messages at school from what I have heard and there is nothing to stop you taking him to C of E occasionally - then he can make his own decision when he grows up.

When I first heard about Unitarians I read an American book - "A Chosen Faith" and it said that lots of children of Unitarians go off and join another religion when they grow up. I thought that was quite suprising but I suppose they have had the opportunity to make up their own minds

Hello Nettee! Glad there's someone out there! Yes we're walking distance (well, hiking distance really but I've got strong legs!) from Rosslyn Hill Unitarian Chapel in London which is lovely www.rosslynhillchapel.com/ It is very very child-friendly - with a children's story as part of the service, then all the children go to Children's Chapel together, leaving the adults to enjoy their service in peace. I've been going to the children's chapel with the little 'uns, as DS is only 2 and not used to the people there yet. When he's a bit older & knows them he can go alone & I can listen to the talk etc. Then we rejoin the service towards the end. Do you think DS will struggle to get into a CofE school if he's Unitarian? I'd ideally like him in a faith school, as like you I'd like him to be familiar with Christian messages and the Bible. But I'd also like him to have the more inclusive liberal messages as well...

Hello Nettee! Glad there's someone out there! Yes we're walking distance (well, hiking distance really but I've got strong legs!) from Rosslyn Hill Unitarian Chapel in London which is lovely www.rosslynhillchapel.com/ It is very very child-friendly - with a children's story as part of the service, then all the children go to Children's Chapel together, leaving the adults to enjoy their service in peace. I've been going to the children's chapel with the little 'uns, as DS is only 2 and not used to the people there yet. When he's a bit older & knows them he can go alone & I can listen to the talk etc. Then we rejoin the service towards the end. Do you think DS will struggle to get into a CofE school if he's Unitarian? I'd ideally like him in a faith school, as like you I'd like him to be familiar with Christian messages and the Bible. But I'd also like him to have the more inclusive liberal messages as well...

I have had a look at the web site - oh my goodness it looks fantastic. I don't know much about the admissions policies for C of E Schools but I think I have seen somewhere that priority of given to people belonging to denominations that believe in the trinity which Unitarians have named themselves as not believing in (although some do!). A friend of mine is a morman and she got priority admission into a C of E school because of this even though they don't believe in the trinity (probably about 15 years ago). It would seem crazy for a school to turn someone down who was taking their faith seriously over someone who was putting on a show to get into the school.

I was brought up as a Methodist but DH is of a, well, more non-specific spirituality and it was when we were trying to arrange a wedding that wasn't too Jesus-heavy but that could still include hymns that we came across the Unitarians in Oxford, and they were fantastic.

I wish we lived closer so I could go more often - as it is if I ever go to church I end up with the Methodists as it's easy (iyswim) but they are not quite the right fit any more.

The school thing sounds like it will depend heavily on what admissions are like in your area - apart from siblings ours is simply and solely geographical so I'd have more trouble keeping unbaptised, unpractising dd out of the local CofE than I would getting her in...

Thanks Mrs Badger & Nettee. Really glad of your feedback. I've been thinking about it some more and I'm definitely going to go for a Unitarian dedication ceremony for DS and we'll go to the chapel as our regular Sunday service. Maybe I'll take him to a CofE service occasionally later when he's old enough for us to talk about it afterwards, just to give him that background knowledge of Christianity and the Bible. It does help that the Rosslyn Hill chapel is so child friendly. But also it's a bit closer to where I'm at spiritually at the moment compared to our local CofE.