My church is becoming fundamentalist

[FedUpandEatingChocolate]

I'm not sure quite how to describe the shift my church is making, but it's making me very uncomfortable.

I grew up CofE, and have preferred more 'modern' churches. When we moved to our home town over 10 years ago, the church we found as home is a Baptist church. It was so welcoming and open.

We've loved it there. My dd's have made friends there, I've made friends there, I've worked for the church for 3 years (not anymore), set up a food bank type thing there where I still volunteer weekly. My kids go to social clubs there etc.

However, the Minister changed some years ago now, and it's slowly shifting towards a more fundamentalist view.

There have always been differences within the membership around homosexuality and gender/sex. But recently the more conservative position has been written into the church's position statement.

A month back the Minister quoted JD Vance in his sermon. This week they had a visiting speaker who said that divorce was a sin except in the case of abuse.

Quite a few church members have already left. I feel really torn as it's our church family, but this focus on sexuality and an increasing lean towards the right makes me so uncomfortable.

Just writing this down makes me think I've got to leave the church and find a new one which aligns with my faith.

How does one even go about leaving a church when it's so intertwined with my community and family.

@CloseEncountersOfTheTurdKind Honestly I'd see a church stating it saw the Bible as literal word of God as a clue they likely did have fundamentalist views on homosexuality, role of women, divorce etc....

These things usually come as a bundle.

I've seen previous Mumsnet posts on deciphering clues on churches before but Bible is literal word of God, no women listed in ministry or only for youth/pastoral care, mention of 'evangelical' is usually a give away.

It is a matter of how they interpret scriptures and the instructions they contain (or don't contain). This has huge ramifications for what they teach from the pulpit, and for how they operate and how they treat people.

This happened to me but I had a natural "out' as I moved for university and didn't ever have to go back. I've come to view the church as a garden. It was a wonderful, fresh, and thriving garden but it wasn't weeded well, things got planted in the wrong place and at the wrong time, and the head gardener was (and still is) in denial.

The church wasn't a bad place, my good memories are still good, and I can love everything it was whilst still acknowledging that it is no longer a good place for me.

I think it's almost impossible to leave without causing pain somewhere but it doesn't mean it's a bad move. How old are the children? Are they old enough to decide for themselves where they go? You should obviously be honest when asked but save the full truth for your nearest and dearest. Maybe "we've had a lot going on both at home and here at church so we feel our needs have changed" or "we feel it's time to explore other services and see how others are interpreting scripture".

There's no one right approach but I'll be thinking of and praying for you. It is such a difficult transition and I hope you have strong friendships that you are able to maintain.

Thank you all for your comments, really thought provoking.

I've discussed it with DH and we're going to go to two other local churches to see whether they're a good fit. We're going to do the transition slowly without making a big deal of it - and keep going with the social bits for now.

Thank you all for your comments, really thought provoking.

I've discussed it with DH and we're going to go to two other local churches to see whether they're a good fit. We're going to do the transition slowly without making a big deal of it - and keep going with the social bits for now.

It's been a slow and steady process.

First, 2 assistant/trainee ministers left, which left a gap in leadership that hasn't been filled. Both of them had a biblical view more in line with ours.

There have always been the odd member with a fundamentalist approach, but balanced out by those with a more open and Christ-like perspective.

A new couple joined during COVID, and went into leadership positions. First they just shared their more fundamental views, but slowly it's dripped into the consciousness of the church.

Then there was a discussion about same sex marriages, that seemed like an isolated issue.

But late last year a revised church belief statement was issued. The main part is fine, but then it goes on to single out sex/gender, same sex relationships, marriage and divorce etc. I couldn't attend those meetings and hadn't really clocked what had happened until recently.

What I find particularly offensive is this focus over community, Christ like work, giving, etc. And how it's isolating rather than welcoming.

My decision is made, but it's heartbreaking.

I definitely couldn't allow my DDs not to feel safe sharing whatever sexuality they are with their church friends or even ourselves.

My parents go to a church which was led by someone in a gay relationship, and it was a much more loving environment than our church now is. (We don't live near so can't go to that one!)

I'm sorry to read this, @FedUpandEatingChocolate it must be so disappointing for you to no longer feel welcome in your church. Did you manage to try somewhere new on the weekend?

I'm appalled that there are still churches writing such awful things down in an open and public way.

I feel for you @FedUpandEatingChocolate . When you are involved in the life and community of the Church, it is then far less easy than some people are implying, to just 'find a new Church'. It was very painful when I moved from the Church I had been at for over 40 years.

However, I can't agree with all the folk saying to gradually withdraw and not say why.

We have had a new vicar come to the church I am currently at. He didn't reveal his thoughts at interview, but now he has this feet under the table, he has come out with some opinions that really do not align with mine. I've prayed and prayed over it, and discussed it with other people. Some people have left, and made a stand, but for me (I'm not saying you should do this OP, it is different when you have dc involved), but, for me, I have chosen to stay, and to challenge what he says when he makes some of his more outrageous statements. It is quite a thriving Church and I know a lot of people are very unhappy with what the Vicar says sometimes. If all the good people leave, then the Vicar is surrounded by the few that echo his views. If some of us stay, there is a tiny chance he might think about behaving more as Jesus would have.

If I do decide to leave, I will be making it very clear that it is because of the homophobia (and some other weird things he has said), and I think everyone who leaves should do the same.
For now, for me , I am going to stay and challenge, as many of the congregation are doing.

I think it's really important to leave, to be a witness that this right-wing judgementalism is not Christianity as you understand it. Reach out to the others who have left and ask them where they have ended up. When you find somewhere to land, let anyone who is still there who you think may be similarly inclined know that you are sure that they would be made equally welcome.

That specific building and those specific people used to be, for you, symbolic of the wider "Church" - but we are all your church family, I am, and other people on this thread are, and the people you haven't met yet at more liberal and loving churches are your church family too.

I presume this is in the US? It would be odd if a minister cares in the UK about US politicians.

Those have always been the views of the Baptist church taken from the bible minus JDV the mindless follower of his president. Maybe your church is only recently becoming more vocal about it.

I'd also be very surprised someone was surprised that Baptists held the views the OP is describing as new to her church. But I grew up in the US.

Yes, when I was at university in the mid 90s (in the UK) the local baptist church was very fundamental and the Christian Union at the university was full of students who attended the baptist church.
Some of them (a lot of them I'd say actually) were very unpleasant to other students, such as LGBT students or Catholic students like me.
One of them was constantly telling one of our professors who was an atheist that he was going to "burn in hell" unless he repented.

So yes, nothing new.

I wonder what became of "Love one another as I have loved you", in their minds.

This actually a very real problem in Christianity in the UK. People listen to these nationalistic preachers in the United States and assume it is based on biblical teaching. Things like wealth=God's favour or a subtle (or not so subtle) hate towards immigrants. It's been there a long time but it's becoming more obvious. It's important to watch out for US culture creeping into UK churches.

Sorry, missed the updates on this thread.

It is indeed in the UK. Lovely church, lovely people - but a handful of people with extreme views have got into the senior leadership and are successfully pushing their agenda.