Can you help me find a church (in Cambridge)?

[confusedworshipper]

I really want to start going to church but I've over-thought it. Which is typical behaviour for me. I don't really know much about church aside from what I learnt in R.E. A-level & from attending services when I was a teacher in a CofE school. But in the past two or so years I've been drawn to it and even enrolled my child in a CofE primary (not our nearest).

I live in Cambridge. My local church is St Matthews which I think is technically part of the CofE. But it calls itself evangelical and doesn't have the same "vibe" as CofE churches I've been to before. Can anyone explain the variance in the CofE to me? I've tried googling and I can't seem to figure it out.

If it's evangelical does it automatically mean it is more conservative on matters like women's equality and same sex relationships? This would worry me as I am a progressive.

I've been to Great St Mary's in the city centre a few times but it's massive and I get the sense it's not going to easily give me one of things I am looking for: community.

I've also got my eye on St. Bede's school for my child later on. The admissions for this state:

1. Children from Church of England / Roman Catholic families who are baptised or otherwise recognised as a full member of the Anglican / Roman Catholic Church and whose status is confirmed as such by their priest or minister.
2. Children from families belonging to other Churches that are members of ‘Churches Together in England’, the ‘Evangelical Alliance’ or ‘Partner Churches of Affinity’ whose membership status is confirmed as such by their priest, minister or elder.

Presumably St Matthew's would count as #1 (if we were to start attending regularly and get baptised?)

Thank you for any light you can shed on this matter!

Hi there

Resurrecting this thread as I’m in a very similar position to the original poster and I’m so interested in where you found and if you settled anywhere?

I also live in Cambridge (near St Barnabus church) and went to a church in town (not stag but very similar and close), and met some of the nicest people I’ve ever met in Cambridge. But then realised there’s a seemingly direct correlation between how casual / low the church is and how progressive it is. Most of the congregation are middle class liberal professionals but must be deep down super conservative but never mention it. I find it baffling it’s a big enough part of their life to go every Sunday but never mention their social views.

in contrast I’ve dabbled with Little St Mary’s which is as stuffy as it comes, lots of bells and incense but from what I’ve seen is super liberal.

I tell myself the former is big because it’s welcoming / easy / good with kids. So maybe the majority go for practical rather than spiritual or social reasons but when the language is all opaque it’s hard to know.

It is really hard to work out if a church is anti the leadership of women and/or the inclusion of LGBT people as this is not stated on their websites. You have to dig into the coded language to work it out and even then it can be hard.

Here are some clues. Look for membership of CEEC somewhere on the website. This is the Church of England Evangelical Council. It is conservative evangelical and against same sex marriage. Churches that are part of this group may be anti women in leadership. Or they may not.

Also look for membership of the Ephesians Fund or ‘has alternative episcopal oversight.’ This is code for we like the property and pensions in the C of E but we don’t want to support churches that don’t agree with us.

More subtle clues involve a look at who is on the leadership team. Evangelical churches are often led by a man so that doesn’t help. Look at the who’s who page. Women might be limited to women’s or children’s ministry. A male only team with a women’s ministry lead is bit of a giveaway. Also watch for couples leading churches. The man will be ordained but the wife may only be leading by virtue of her marriage and not any licensing or training.

If conservative churches are so proud of their stance they should declare it openly in their websites so that everyone knows where they stand. But they don’t. They may have great music and children’s work yet it becomes tricky when a teenager comes out or a woman discerns the call to ministry.

Ask around and ask questions of the leadership.

St. Barnabas’ new vicar is a New Wine sort; I know the previous incumbent wasn’t supportive of homosexual relationships. Annoyingly the better the youth groups, the less inclusive they seem to be!

I do get cross when they aren’t honest. If they really don’t support women in ministry and homosexual relationships, why are they so coy about it unless they are hiding something?

St Benets

Blackfriars

Yes I bet the one you’re talking about is the one lots of acquaintances of mine go and I find it very hard to square what I know about them with the church they go to! All extremely lovely people.

I’m still hopping around (& not going as much as I am going). Hop mostly between Great St Mary’s & St Andrew’s Chesterton. Both lovely.

Is it Holy Trinity? I must admit I am very skeptical of churches with big teams (the HT vicar has a PA, for crying out loud!) and slick websites with Spotify playlists. HT has lots of New Wine links on their website.

That’s the one!

Yes it’s HT, I honestly have been shocked by how big it is - how many people go who seemingly must have these very conservative views but just don’t own it. But also how it’s so much high church = more liberal. Lack of vicar in a vicar outfit = super conservative. Nobody seems aware of this either I find it a bit odd to square the people with the apparent outlook. I feel like they must have some meetings where they’re all honest but I’ve been to quite a few events and it all seems very coded.

I have also been to St Barnabus which seemed a bit the same but less slick with elements of an ordinary parish church that has employed some more evangelical types. I was thinking that might be a good middle ground but maybe not.

I am tempted by Little St Mary’s but find it a bit intimidating as I never know the words or anything.

Just to add I went to GSM at Christmas and found it to be extremely sensible and slick but without any of the “we’re so happy to have you let’s sign you up” element.

I used to go to Little St Mary's when I lived in Cambridge (admittedly, this was 20 years ago!) and always found it very socially liberal. As someone who tends to be drawn to the bells 'n' smells Anglo Catholic end of the C of E, I've always found it to be the case that the higher the church, the more socially liberal the congregation and clergy are - in my experience, they often have priests who are fairly openly gay . And they have better parties than the low church lot: it never took much for people to break out the gin at one church I used to go to...

Having said that, you still get some high church types who refuse to accept the ordination of women (but that's also true in many ultra evangelical churches). You just have to try and work out where they stand on these issues and decide what's most important to you, I guess.

I used to go to the New Wine camps, they are very good

I know someone who's on the conservative side who had a child-unfriendly church and is now at LSM. They love for their child, but too High and liberal for their taste. So probably just right for you.

I go to a church which has a big staff team, but that is mainly because they deliver such a lot of community based things. One poor vicar in a frock cannot possibly do everything in a thriving church.

Exactly. The vicar of HT will have so much to do, probably involving lots of invites to places, that he probably needs a PA!

I have worked for a large church like HT as admin staff. Before I started working there I thought what on earth will I be spending my time doing?! But there is SO MUCH admin to running a church, not only the courses and weekly activities but also with the C of E ecclesiastical laws and requirements. It is very sensible for a vicar to outsource as much admin as possible to a PA so that he or she can focus on pastoring and theological leadership. You can very easily spend all your time on emails and admin rather than actually meeting people and having connection time which is what parishioners want from church leadership. In my experience, the staff (including vicars) working for large churches work extremely long hours.

Back to the PP finding a church - you can also try praying that God will lead you to the right church and community for you in your current season of life! As other PPs have said, there are lots of churches to try out, none of them will be perfect or align totally with your theology, but it’s good to be challenged every now and again, and ultimately to keep the main thing the main thing, which is the gospel itself! I hope you find it enjoyable!