has anyone had/been to a handfasting?

[bohemianbint]

Not having one exactly...well, not sure. Getting legally wed this year, then having the party (and maybe handfasting) a year and a day later. I'm quite into the idea (although I balk at certain aspects of paganism and would never call myself one per se, but it's perhaps as close as I can come to identifying with a religion) but DP not remotely that way, so would have to modify so it worked for both of us.

So just wanting to hear what your experiences of handfastings have been and whether there's any good ideas I can nick.

read that as handfisting!!!!

definitely don't fancy one of those!

might be good fun though?

I think it's the friends and family being present that would put the dampeners on that...

Didn't take long for this thread to hit the gutter eh?

sorry

ANyone been to one?

yes i went to one a few years ago now. the couple were Pagans but from Catholic families so they got 'legally' married in church the day before with just family members present followed by the handfasting the next day for everyone else.

It was in a big barn in the middle of nowhere and we were asked to bring a tent so we could camp in the field next door as the celebrations went on late into the night with plenty of organic wine and beer flowing.

The part I remember best was, when we arrived we were asked to write a message for the couple on a leaf shaped piece of paper and tie it onto a potted tree that they were going to take home to plant in their garden.

It was probably the best 'wedding' I have ever been to.

I went to one years ago. My xdp was a pagan and they were friends of his. It was quite nice as a ceremony, as they had it in some woods, on a hillside and everyone just sat and watched and then a talking stick was handed round for those who wanted to say something about the couple. I am now a committed atheist (!), but was interested in it at the time and thought it was nicer than your bog standard church wedding. They were all a bit pretentious though (it was north London...). I am sure if you decide to have one it will be lovely.

Yes. Friends did this the summer before last. It was lovely. Hot summer day in July in a stone circle on a hillside in Somerset. All their various offspring got to take part in the ceremony in some way.

Then had a big party in a farm nearby - fire-eaters, jugglers, face painters..and an ice-cream van with free ice-cream

Yes. At dawn on May Day, as the sun rose over the cliffs. It was informal and fun, with a barrel of beer and some cakes provided so everyone could drink - and eat - to the health of the happy couple; we were asked to form a circle and join hands in a well-wishing but it was not particularly woo-woo, just nice and friendly.
BB have you thought a bout a humanist ceremony? You can have anything you like at one of those, it's just god-free.

I had a humanist 'ceremony'. Contact the humanist society and they have a list of local humanists who are willing to officiate at weddings.
We had a lovely elderly gent who had just the right amount of 'gravitas' to satisfy the rellies - many of whom thought he was a vicar or a registrar.
The best thing for us was we wrote our own vows, chose the music, readings etc and he officiated.

We had the legal part in the registary office first, then the handfasting at the venue (outside in a field next to a pub and a babbling brook, in the yorkshire dales, on midsummer's day. Followed by live music, hogroast, much drink and dance and camping and a fire)

Another vote for Humanists! If you get married in Scotland, the Humanist ceremony is legal, so you don't have to do anything else to be legally married....

I am a trained humanist celebrant, BB. I'm happy to give you more info on what a humanist ceremony is like - we do do handfastings.

ccol Madamez!

Thank you everyone for the feedback! Sounds ace, and I really quite fancy this place sounds like an amazing venue!

Madamez - sounds interesting! Tell me more, it's not something I'd really considered, but I've spoken to a few people who've been to humanist ceremonies who've really liked them...

I wanted a handfasting. DH is a lapsed/ex-catholic and did not.

We went for spiritualist in the end and it was lovely Great wording about being together in this life and the next