Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

So I've lost my faith

34 replies

Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:10

Dear all I just wanted to say that I have finally lost all my Christian faith. Not sure why i wanted to announce this but i guess i feel a bit sad about it. Just experiencing my third miscarriage, i am a happily married, loving kind human being. I asked God to let me keep this one and he has said no. I dont ask for much. I cant get my head around it to be honest. So many dreadful things happening in the world, so many unmarried and some unsuitable women getting pregnant and having healthy babies but oh no, not me, I have been abandoned my Christ. He does not work in mysterious ways at all. He is a cruel God if he exists st all and there will be once less follower in the flock and one fewer attendeexst church from now on.
Thanks for letting me rant!

OP posts:
username3678 · 19/10/2024 23:11

💐

Ohlaylaylayla · 19/10/2024 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EducatingArti · 19/10/2024 23:13

Many hugs (if it helps). I am so sorry.

Stickersandlollipops · 19/10/2024 23:13

I’m a sorry for your loss. I can feel the pain in your post.

I’m very much a Christian but totally understand why you’re saying what you’re saying. I believe God does too and He’s big enough to take your anger at Him.

I remember the pain of miscarriage and it’s devastating.

Cherryana · 19/10/2024 23:15

I am so sorry.
There are no words and even tears are inadequate.

Ohlaylaylayla · 19/10/2024 23:15

So many dreadful things happening in the world, so many unmarried and some unsuitable women getting pregnant and having healthy babies

in sorry but this is not acceptable

WhatIsWithMe · 19/10/2024 23:18

Ohlaylaylayla · 19/10/2024 23:15

So many dreadful things happening in the world, so many unmarried and some unsuitable women getting pregnant and having healthy babies

in sorry but this is not acceptable

Exactly, what the fuck!

Stickersandlollipops · 19/10/2024 23:25

Ohlaylaylayla · 19/10/2024 23:15

So many dreadful things happening in the world, so many unmarried and some unsuitable women getting pregnant and having healthy babies

in sorry but this is not acceptable

I didn’t clock that bit.

OP I do very much hope that you’re ok though and have a good support network around you. I’m so very sorry for your loss.

TeaButInAPot · 19/10/2024 23:29

I get where PPs are coming from with their upset at the wording, but I think, having had a Christian upbringing, the OP probably isn't meaning that unmarried women shouldn't have kids/ don't deserve kids, but possibly more that, according to the "rules" or expectations of the Christian religion, she did everything "right", or "by the book" - get married, then start a family. So according to the rules of Christianity, she shouldn't be "punished" by not being able to have children when she's technically followed all the correct guidelines to get there, but others who didn't follow those guidelines (understandably, because they don't believe in them) are seemingly being "blessed by God" with the baby that OP so desperately wants.

So I don't think it's a judgement, just logic of thinking if God is the one who provides children, and you've done as close to everything he has commanded as possible, why are others who don't follow the rules getting the rewards?

Hence the anger. It's a bit like a parent rewarding a child who didn't do the thing they were asked, when the child that did do it is left without the reward. But it only works if you come at it from the perspective that there are rules you have been given to obey. Which obviously Christians do and others don't.

If that makes sense... clumsily worded maybe, but I'm not feeling malicious intent.

OP - I am so sorry. It is horrid.

Look after yourself.

Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:33

Stickersandlollipops · 19/10/2024 23:13

I’m a sorry for your loss. I can feel the pain in your post.

I’m very much a Christian but totally understand why you’re saying what you’re saying. I believe God does too and He’s big enough to take your anger at Him.

I remember the pain of miscarriage and it’s devastating.

Thank you, that has made me cry x

OP posts:
FusilliGeri · 19/10/2024 23:35

My goodness. What a terrible thought process. I genuinely cant imagine thinking those thoughts.

Chewyspree · 19/10/2024 23:36

OP you are in the depths of human misery. I know this for a fact.

Perhaps you too are ‘unsuitable’ - but to say or think that would be terribly unchristian.

Which we both clearly are.

I wish you peace.

Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:41

TeaButInAPot · 19/10/2024 23:29

I get where PPs are coming from with their upset at the wording, but I think, having had a Christian upbringing, the OP probably isn't meaning that unmarried women shouldn't have kids/ don't deserve kids, but possibly more that, according to the "rules" or expectations of the Christian religion, she did everything "right", or "by the book" - get married, then start a family. So according to the rules of Christianity, she shouldn't be "punished" by not being able to have children when she's technically followed all the correct guidelines to get there, but others who didn't follow those guidelines (understandably, because they don't believe in them) are seemingly being "blessed by God" with the baby that OP so desperately wants.

So I don't think it's a judgement, just logic of thinking if God is the one who provides children, and you've done as close to everything he has commanded as possible, why are others who don't follow the rules getting the rewards?

Hence the anger. It's a bit like a parent rewarding a child who didn't do the thing they were asked, when the child that did do it is left without the reward. But it only works if you come at it from the perspective that there are rules you have been given to obey. Which obviously Christians do and others don't.

If that makes sense... clumsily worded maybe, but I'm not feeling malicious intent.

OP - I am so sorry. It is horrid.

Look after yourself.

Edited

You are so right, sorry to have caused offence to OPs.

OP posts:
FusilliGeri · 19/10/2024 23:46

So according to the rules of Christianity, she shouldn't be "punished" by not being able to have children when she's technically followed all the correct guidelines to get there, but others who didn't follow those guidelines (understandably, because they don't believe in them) are seemingly being "blessed by God" with the baby that OP so desperately wants

But surely having those thoughts cancels out 'living by the correct guidelines' as they are terrible. So you aren't living by the correct guidelines.

Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:47

TeaButInAPot has exactly hit the nail on the head. I absolutely dont want to suggest that I have an issue with unmarried mothers or anyone else having babies. I indeed have friends who are single mums and friends who are same gender couples who have babies and they are all fabulous parents. I am just in incredible pain at the moment and I have learnt from experience that it is not a pain one can understand unless one has experienced it and all I am really saying is that I have tried to live as a decent Christian and I feel I am punished by God and i absolutely dont understand why. I spoke to my vicar last time it happened and he kept going back to God's plan. I have just have no will to hear it any more.
Sorry everyone I offended, I love you all and i wouldn't want to hurt anyone but i am just heartbroken x

OP posts:
Thegreatestoftheseislove · 19/10/2024 23:50

Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:10

Dear all I just wanted to say that I have finally lost all my Christian faith. Not sure why i wanted to announce this but i guess i feel a bit sad about it. Just experiencing my third miscarriage, i am a happily married, loving kind human being. I asked God to let me keep this one and he has said no. I dont ask for much. I cant get my head around it to be honest. So many dreadful things happening in the world, so many unmarried and some unsuitable women getting pregnant and having healthy babies but oh no, not me, I have been abandoned my Christ. He does not work in mysterious ways at all. He is a cruel God if he exists st all and there will be once less follower in the flock and one fewer attendeexst church from now on.
Thanks for letting me rant!

I am sorry for your losses. I found this, a Christian woman's perspective on her own miscarriage: https://www.annakettle.com/blog/a-theology-of-miscarriage

a theology of miscarriage — Anna Kettle

Where is God in miscarriage?

https://www.annakettle.com/blog/a-theology-of-miscarriage

Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:53

Thegreatestoftheseislove · 19/10/2024 23:50

I am sorry for your losses. I found this, a Christian woman's perspective on her own miscarriage: https://www.annakettle.com/blog/a-theology-of-miscarriage

Thank you so much. I will have a read of this x

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/10/2024 23:53

Hi op
I'm an unmarrried Christian mum!
If you have a bit of faith left the only way I could see this awful experience is how I rationalized a previous pregnancy of mine, in that you were meant to have a pregnancy but that particular pregnancy wasn't meant to become a baby. If this was me I would be going to doctor to find out why and what's happened - there is so so much medically they can do to explore what's gone on and to help the next pregnancy 'keep' .

I don't want to diminish your pain, but maybe these pregnancies would have resulted in ill or very sick babies and would have caused
You and the babies even more pain, and the fourth pregnancy is one that you wouldn't have had if you'd had the others and the fourth one will be the child you are meant to bring into the world xx

Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:58

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/10/2024 23:53

Hi op
I'm an unmarrried Christian mum!
If you have a bit of faith left the only way I could see this awful experience is how I rationalized a previous pregnancy of mine, in that you were meant to have a pregnancy but that particular pregnancy wasn't meant to become a baby. If this was me I would be going to doctor to find out why and what's happened - there is so so much medically they can do to explore what's gone on and to help the next pregnancy 'keep' .

I don't want to diminish your pain, but maybe these pregnancies would have resulted in ill or very sick babies and would have caused
You and the babies even more pain, and the fourth pregnancy is one that you wouldn't have had if you'd had the others and the fourth one will be the child you are meant to bring into the world xx

You are right and thank you. It is a very weird and not often pleasant or easy life but we will find out the purpiseceventually I hope x

OP posts:
Objectiontime · 19/10/2024 23:59

The purpose

OP posts:
username3678 · 20/10/2024 00:01

You might find this helpful. The Miscarriage helpline.

TeaButInAPot · 20/10/2024 00:05

FusilliGeri · 19/10/2024 23:46

So according to the rules of Christianity, she shouldn't be "punished" by not being able to have children when she's technically followed all the correct guidelines to get there, but others who didn't follow those guidelines (understandably, because they don't believe in them) are seemingly being "blessed by God" with the baby that OP so desperately wants

But surely having those thoughts cancels out 'living by the correct guidelines' as they are terrible. So you aren't living by the correct guidelines.

Then there would be no Christians in the world, as nobody is able to be as perfect as Christianity expects/ encourages a person to aspire to be. Obviously all people are flawed, selfish, unkind, self-righteous, whatever else, but if you've been trying really hard to at least make an effort to do what you're being told is right, then you can see how it would be disheartening at best, devastating at worst.

I think it's very hard to see from an outside perspective, so everyone knows they're not perfect, but most of us don't have an expectation on us in the form of a religion that tells you you should be doing x,y,z - and then when you do w,y,z it is understandably frustrating that people doing a,b,c, are being "treated better" by God.

Of course, it all hinges on the belief that children come from God, so if you don't believe that then there isn't that baseline expectation that you should be at least trying to live according to his will.

I don't think it's fair that Christians (and I'm not one) are expected to be perfect in all their thoughts and deeds - they're human, after all. They'll feel all the human emotions and think things like the rest of us do, but there are some things it's easier to control, like your actions on certain things, so if you're doing your best (and yes, still not being perfect) and don't see the benefits/rewards of all your efforts to be "good", it is understandably upsetting.

Justalittlenaughty · 20/10/2024 00:06

It's all a load of bullshit! God who?????

JRSKSSBH · 20/10/2024 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Seriously? No compassion?

Thegreatestoftheseislove · 20/10/2024 00:08

I understand your sense of unfairness: I mean, you stuck to the plan, ie marriage, etc and you lose your pregnancies and yet others who don't stick to the plan have what you so desperately want. It's just not fair. It's a different scenario but a dear friend, a good clean living kindly human being who worked hard and contributed to society, died all-to-young from Motor Neurone Disease - the life-partner was eaten up with anger and the sense of unfairness and bitterness at all the 'bad' people in the world, who still had their healthy lives. In this life there seems to be no rhyme nor reason ... but God knows the tears and the heartbreak. I hope, eventually, you get a sense of His peace, the peace that passes all understanding.

Swipe left for the next trending thread