DD wants to be christened

[Halo2024]

I may sound a little silly and these are probably very simply questions for those who are religious, but I’d like some advice about christening DD.

I’m non-religious, however DD, who is nearly 7, learns about religion at school (learning about the meaning of easter and Christmas). After winning an award at school for her knowledge around Easter and the meaning, we spoke a little bit about visiting church and what a christening is (which I probably didn’t explain v well). Btw, she often brings home library books with biblical stories and often reads an Easter story her Nan bought her, she’s told me for around a year that she loves Jesus, so I think perhaps I could do more to help her explore religion for herself.

She’d like to get christened, but I don’t really know where to start. Do I have to be christened too? Do we have to attend weekly church sessions? How does it all work and what are my first steps? I’m also conscious I’m an atheist, so I’m not sure how that’s seen in the eyes of the church.

My apologies, I’ve probably used a lot of the wrong terminology and thank you in advance for any help.

Reading other posts on here it's possible they should have checked that but either way I don't care, I don't consider my spiritual life to have anything to do with having water poured on my head or not

You could ask the vicar for a blessing of your daughter for a start.

Let your daughter explore her faith before you decide on baptism by joining the Sunday school or other activities at the local church. Your vicar can guide you.

I went to a private Christian school and opted for christening at 12 yo. Never had any regrets. My parents weren't religious.

I’m a non practicing Christian but as a child went to church weekly.
In your shoes I’d be looking for a nice friendly Sunday school. A bit young to decide to be baptised I think unless parents are fully on board.

Baptism can be done more than once. If she wants to be baptised now, let her. Get her a nice dress (or her favourite type of clothing) and have a party. Take it lightly. Enjoy it.

If she would like to be baptised, she is entitled to be in her local c of e church. They may have children's classes, or the vicar may sit down with her and talk to her to see if she wants to. This is different to baptising a baby where it is the parents who decide and promise (if you are atheist it doesn't seem to be the right choice for you). My dd was baptised at 10 by her own choice, she doesn't have got parents instead you have a sponsor, it can be any adult though hers is the vicar.

No baptism is a one and done thing.

Baptism is a one time deal as someone has said above so don't rush into it - that way if and when she does get christened / baptised it'll mean more to her. But in the meantime see if your local church does Messy Church for kids or something similar. If she enjoys the stories about Jesus then she'd enjoy that and even if she doesn't end up a Christian she'll still have been enjoying herself. And if she does, then she'll have some knowledge. But make sure it's a decent church that caters for all age groups, and looks to the outside community / world at large too. Because that's what a decent church would do.

No, you're wrong. Any religious revival will spark re-baptisms, the records are full of them. Even the CofE. An infant baptism would be superseded by a believers baptism in some denominations.

If you like me to be wrong fine.
But I am not.
Baptism in the large Christian denominations like Catholics, CofE, Lutherans, Ortodoxs are a one and done thing. Quite easy to get councelling about if you concact the different churches' offices.

That would have worked well where I grew up when chapels had separate Sunday Schools in the afternoon. Now, I think most chapels and churches have them during the Sunday service so OP herself would probably have to attend wouldn't she. What I've seen is children sitting with their parents for the beginning of the service before Sunday School begins in another room.

"if the kids are being taught to be Christian that’s something the parents should know about."

There is no requirement on British state schools to be secular. It's not like in France or somewhere.

Excellent. I'll go with you being wrong.

@StopStartStop
https://www.churchofengland.org/life-events/confirmations/confirmation-faqs
You can only be baptized or confirmed once in the Church of England, but there are ways of renewing your Christian commitment again – the vicar of your church will be able to tell you more about this.

You are very welcome.

I am Catholic so I think baptism is a very good thing indeed. Certainly from your perspective its nothing to worry about. It is likely that without you going to church or praying with her then baptism may be it but I still think do it.

I'd think about nearest nice church that makes it easy for you to drop her off and has something for a 7yo. My parish has one church that's got no children's mass but the other takes the kids into a separate room for colouring and age appropriate liturgy. That's the kind of church you want her to join.

Today We were outside in the garden waving palms and then doing the whole story of the passion where the congregation get to do the crowd parts and shout Crucify! We make palm crosses and it's a fun church day. I bet your dd would have enjoyed it.

Speak to a priest and it helps to have a friend in the church who can take her under their wing.

Dont just think c of e. Avoid evangelical. Catholic good if you can find a lively church. Some Methodists churches lovely. It's the community you need to consider and the priest and the support network.

A Baptist church would baptise her at 7 years old. They would ask her questions, of the type you've answered above. Members would probably offer her a lift in order for her to attend services. You would of course be welcome too, but it's not obligatory. That's how it would play out in my locality anyway.

Ahhh we are CofE and go to a church with a great childrens' programme.
You can't say only one denomination is 'a lively church' with something to offer young people.

I would take her to a local church and their Sunday school and say she can do it in the summer she stil wants to and believes .

Good advice

@MumChp sorry I didn't mean CofE wasn't a good bet. I was trying to say in my parish we have a lively/family friendly church and a not very lively one so it's worth shopping around!

@ZenNudist your church sounds lovely - just musing here not trying to say anything should change- but this is exactly the kind of activity that put me off church as a young girl with religious inclinations. I just couldn't see how stories like the crucifixion were suitable themes for 'fun' activities. I wanted to discuss the stories and sit with them and feel utterly devastated about judas' betrayal etc

Baptism is definitely only done once in the church of england and roman catholic churches. It's possible to renew your baptismal vows if you come to faith as an adult, having been baptised as a baby and this can look like a baptism, with full immersion, but you can only be actually baptised once in your life.

Check your records. And changes of denomination etc.

As an atheist I think it’s slightly odd that you are considering this. I don’t think a child that young can make a fully informed decision. She will likely come to regret it and wonder what on earth you were thinking by going along with it.

My parents are atheists. I decided when I was around 10 that I wanted to be baptised. I'd already been singing in the church choir for a couple of years (going on my own - my parents never attended services).

I organised my baptism myself but my parents were supportive as far as they needed to be and they came to the service.

The church gave me a much appreciated community for around six years until my the church choir fizzled out and I then only attended services sporadically.

Thirty years down the line, I'm an atheist but I do not regret being baptised and nor do I regret having been a part of the church community and attending weekly services.

I can't see the harm OP in facilitating your DD to attend church and to be baptised.