I think I’ve found God

[CutiePatooties]

About 3 years ago, I was at a low and I prayed for the first time ever: I just prayed for God to make everything right again.

Things were going well although now I’m at my worst and I thought all hope was lost and then I reviewed the things that were going terribly: being made homeless soon, can’t cope in my job, relationship failing. I’m such a pessimist and sit in my sorrow and dwell usually.

However, this time I felt a change. I didn’t pray for God to make everything right, as I hate where I live now, I can’t cope in my job and I needed the realisation that it’s really badly effecting my mental health. I can’t keep my husband with me if all he does is bring me down. I feel like God has spoken to me - that he’s brought all of these things that at first seem like bad luck or failures, but he’s delivered them to me in a way where it clears a path for something greater. I just feel like as much as I know the next few months will be especially horrendous, that these things need to happen in order to make a change.

I’ve always just thought bad things happen to me all the time and that’s my life, but now I feel he’s telling me good things are coming but I have to go through the bad things first. It does feel like he’s spoken to me (not literally, I’m not hearing voices or anything!) it’s more an internal voice that I’ve never had before and doesn’t fit with my character AT ALL so it feels like it’s an external voice if that makes sense?

Now I’m a bit confused as to how I worship him - where I go, what church? What religion? I feel like I’m saying goodbye to the past, the negativity, and I do want to be born again. Which church should I go to?

I think now you need to keep praying, and pray that God will direct you to the religion that's right for you.
If prayer has worked for you, it will work again 😊

As PP said, keep praying but ask him to guide you to a church. Have you got a Bible? If not, download the YouVersion app and start reading - a good place to start is the gospel of John.

Thank you to you both. I’ve downloaded that app and have started on the gospel of John.

I really appreciate your input.

OP I’m sorry you are having such a terrible time at the moment. Christmas can be such a difficult time. I’m glad you have found God. My faith brings me great comfort when I am low and I find I am closest to God at the worst times in my life.
I think your next step could be to try church. You could start by going to a coffee morning at your local church. Look at a few websites for a feel of modern/traditional services. You might need to try a few churches until you find the one that feels right for you.
I pray you get though your life challenges ahead and come out in a more positive place.

I'll probably get shot down in flames for this, but I think it needs saying. I recently emerged from nearly 30 years as a Christian, and reflecting upon it, I can honestly say it made just about every problem I've had in my life worse, and has caused quite a few new ones to spring up.

Please, please, please proceed with extreme caution, and don't get too massively sucked in to it all, like I did. I spent quite a few years in very full-on hardcore evangelical churches that were very uncompromising, and made very excessive demands on members. The cost to me in time, money and mental health has been absolutely catastrophic.

I'm of the opinion that the absolute best thing you can do when facing tough times is get a therapist. It'll almost certainly cost you less than tithing, and exposes you to the absolute best of human wisdom and strength in difficulty.

If you want to pray as well, fill your boots, but I think a lot of churches are dangerous places that actively harm their members, and I'll never set foot in one again.

@CutiePatooties funny name to add to my prayers! I hope everything comes out right for you. I'm glad for you.

There is no better time to get to church than today/ tomorrow. Find yourself a midnight mass to go to (I'm Catholic). Where do you live? Is it somewhere with lots of churches? Or a jolly Cof E Christmas day service in a traditional church. Don't worry about not knowing the mass/service.

In time you can work out more what you want to do. You need to work it out for yourself. We can all tell you "try my faith" "no its rubbish" "do this", "do that". You have the holy spirit guiding you and you can follow where that leads you.

For me I had the compulsion to worship, pray in all its forms, read the bible, research Christian apologetics.

I found Fr Mike schmitz really spoke to me. I love all his YouTube videos. Worth a watch? I also like (Anglican pastor in evangelical tradition) Pete Greig who is really helpful with how to pray. He has a great 6 part YouTube series (& a book ).

@PrimitivePerson I'm sorry that's been your experience. I don't think most churches are dangerous. In Catholic church you don't need to spend a bean if you don't want to and the only danger is boredom for people who find it too dry!!! I understand some evangelical churches can be as you describe. I do think it'd wonderful to see young people so engaged in faith but I think it's important not to lose sight of Christian values. Where you find emotional manipulation, judgement and "pay to pray" schemes then it's not God at work. It's man in all his brokenness.

Why do you think you’ve found God? Why do you think this is the Christian God ? Why do you think you need to worship him?

I can assure you that whatever the OP has found, it's not God, because there isn't one.

Hi OP. Download ‘daily prayer’ app and you can follow a morning, day, evening or night service whenever you like. I connect with my vicar friend sometimes and we say it together.

Hi@CutiePatooties
How are you feeling about everything now?
I definitely don't have a strong faith and wasn't a Christian for many many years. However, something drew me back towards it . I was also having a bad time and so low and I just realised, actually whether I 100% believe it or not, for me I like the comfort of prayer and the idea of a higher power. I find that it gives me daily structure in my life and helps me strive to be a better person. This is just how it helps me personally.

I've started going on the youversion holy bible app. I go on it perhaps a couple times a week and it helps to ground me. I find it really helps me mentally too.

OP I’m sorry you are having such a difficult time at the moment.

I hope things improve for you and that you start to believe in yourself and a better future.

Why do you think that a god improves things? Maybe your life would be better regardless?

You are doing really well OP! Lean on God and trust in his promises he won't let you down. He is preparing the way for you to go on to do what you have been born for. You are aware things will be very difficult for a season, but remember the goldsmith that purifies gold by subjecting it to a very hot temperature, thus removing the impurities. This in effect is what is happening to you right now.

What Church? I would ask God to guide you. Do start reading the gospels if you haven't started already, I particularly love John and Luke. You may find Bible studies on YouTube for these gospels.