Born again evangelical ex Fundie Christian but I don't understand why feminism is anti-Biblical

[AskingForAFriendAgain]

I was raised independent Baptist , somewhat fundamentalist. Think a less culty less extreme version of the Duggar family, but without the Quiverfull must have multiple babies stuff and a lot of emphasis on Hebrew roots and prosperity gospel ,Word -Faith and an obsession with demons.

My parenting was abusive due domestic abuse and child abuse and I ended up leaving the church and God because the trauma has me convinced God absolutely hated me. Then I came back to Christianity in my 20s and developed a type of OCD called Scrupulosity, a religious form of OCD, having had the standard typical OCD not otherwise specified since I was about 7 or 8.

Now I'm healing from that and have been born again in Christ, I now attend a low key somewhat evangelical but quite liberal Anglican church. I'm in therapy for complex trauma and associated diagnoses (OCD-religious type/ Borderline PD) (something that was banned as new age and satanic when I was growing up) and 12 step group for an ED. I feel stronger in my faith than I've ever been because I'm learning to see God as a loving father who wants to forgive my sins and set me free to follow Him. I practice dialectical behaviour therapy and mindfulness without worrying that it's evil, I dress stylishly and wear make up , I now celebrate Christmas etc.

But one thing I still struggle with is this. I see a lot of Christians saying feminism is evil and that God has the role for women to be wives and mothers. Nothing wrong with that and I can see that the bible is against women preachers (my current church has them and I don't mind these days, I'm learning to not worry about what others do) my current church doesn't believe feminism is evil but I'm seeing a lot of the more conservative Christians in a women's Facebook group I'm in have an idea that women shouldn't work even if single, that women shouldn't do college or careers, that celibacy is wrong for a woman unless she has been called by God (apparently having no desire to be with a man or have children aren't valid reasons for celibacy at all). At least my parents were fine with women being educated and having jobs before marriage and voting etc.

I don't understand what is wrong with a girl deciding to leave home once she grown up and deciding to follow God alone to direct her as to whether she marries or not etc Or a woman pursuing a career she is passionate about. Or a woman voting.

I can see the issue with abortion but I honestly don't see how the views that women's rights are wrong can be supported by the bible . Is the idea that feminism is evil a man made doctrine? I know the bible said women stay under their father's headship until they marry, but girls married in their teens then. I think a woman in her 40s is allowed to move out and support herself if she so wishes , I can't see anything wrong with that. Also i wasn't safe as a teenager living with my parents so I'm sure God is ok exceptions anyway.

Why can't women have jobs or stay single ? I can't see a bible verse supporting that ?

I get that women are meant to obey their husbands unless he is abusive or sinning in some other way but if a husband is ok with a woman working or they both agree they want their family a limited size, how is that a problem?

Can I call myself a feminist and be a Christian ?

Lots of us are feminist and Christian- lots of people don't subscribe to the woman needing to obey the man either (known as complementarianism) but instead hold an egalitarian view of the marriage relationship (both partners are equal, and work together utilising their strengths to have a good relationship). There is space within Christianity for both viewpoints, ultimately it's down to the individual what they choose to believe around this as it's not an issue that directly affects a persons salvation.

"Good news for women" by Rebecca Groothuis is a good, deep dive into women and equality within Christianity.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-News-Women-Biblical-Equality-ebook/dp/B0064BV14I/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3UFOY38S29A6X&keywords=feminist+christian+rebecca&qid=1698762888&sprefix=feminst+christian+rebecca%2Caps%2C55&sr=8-5

Another author I like is Rachel Held Evans, she writes a lot about women and the church.

I think I will check that book out, thanks so much.

Personally I don't see why God would create half the population, many many of them extremely intelligent and talented, and not allow them to use those brains and talents to their full extents. Some men are terrible leaders, but end up being church leaders because 'God says so'. Some women are amazing leaders but aren't allowed to lead churches because 'God says so'. Makes no sense to me.
Ancient Israel was massively patriarchal society, and of course many of the early Christians were Jews, so they have all that history and culture (and the Torah) behind them. Puts a lot of what's in the bible in context, I think.
I don't think feminism in and of itself is a bad thing - as with everything, it's how its 'done' that can be the issue at times.

Some of the ideas being espoused in your group are odd to say the least and have a very 1950s view of womanhood.

Women have always worked, going right back into Biblical times. Deborah was a judge. Ruth worked in the fields. The Bible makes multiple references to midwives, who were presumably women.

Paul was most enthusiastic about Christians being single. His phrasing in his letter to the Corinthians makes it plain he is referring to women as well as men.

Some aspects of feminism, like abortion and female preachers, are much more contentious, and Christians aren't supposed to let secular ideologies come before God.

But as for the things you're struggling the most with, I can't really see any Biblical backing for. They seem to be of a very specific time and culture.

On a side note, mindfulness is an incredibly old Christian tradition!

Wow I am in awe of the strength and courage you have had to endure your journey so far.

I am what's called a post-evangelical Christian, having been somewhat wounded by how the evangelical churches treated and taught me in my teens and 20s and left the church for a number of years but managed to hang on to a little scrap of faith which eventually brought me back.

An enormous part of my jouney was discovering the Greenbelt festival which is held every august bank holiday - obviously that's months away so not immediately helpful but I hope you come when august next rolls around. Meanwhile if yoi go to the Greenbelt festival website you can accesss a huge number of past talks on every possible theological question - there is a fee to download talks from the most recent festival but talks from older festivals and between-festival podcasts are free. The greenbelt festival talks archive is at https://www.greenbelt.org.uk/talks-archive search with a few different keywords as not all relevant talks will have the word "feminism" in their title.

https://www.greenbelt.org.uk/talks/faithfully-feminist-why-we-stay/ is an easy one to find, but there were absolutely loads of relevant talks in one particular year when there was a specifically feminist talks venue called "the red tent" - but every year there will be a good number of contributions to these discussions.

There is a clue in Genesis, often described as the man blaming the woman for 'tempting' him to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge, that men and worm are not considered or treated equally.

King James Biblee*
And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

It was in fact the first time I noticed not all things in life are set up to be fair. Following that train of thought had me discover feminism, so it is by no means all bad.

Genesis 1:27: “So God created humans in God's own image, in the image of God, God created them; male and female he created them.”
Both male and female are equally in the image of God. God is non corporeal and has no sex or gender - culture ascribes God to masculinity/maleness because this is the sex/gender that holds the power among humans and God certainly has power but see Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus

Absolutely agreed @YireosDodeAver

However, good luck with untangling the impact of religion and culture when it impacts your own life.

Oops, posted too soon

If so much religion can get a simple thing like that wrong, and go find (by reputation! Adam's blambing his partner rather than taking responsibility himself, what are the chances that other parts of religion are also misinterpretation's.

I don't care to have my life and liberty curtailed by others, I prefer to life my life according to my own view of right and wrong.

@AskingForAFriendAgain

I think that for your mental health and recovery you would be better to leave that Facebook group and focus on real life friendships with women in your new Church.

The attitudes you describe in that Facebook group seem arguably rather extreme and not quite representative of the Christian women I know in real life from a variety of denominations.

The Bible supports being single for men and women, this is a big difference with some other major world religions which don’t allow anyone to remain single:

“He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her hus-band.”

”The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.”

There you have it, St Paul thinks women who are widowed will be happier if they remain single.

I have female friends who attend Anglican, Baptist, and Catholic Churches and none of them think like the women in that Facebook group.

Paul complains about women leading prayer. Therefore women were already church leaders in the 1st century.

But he thinks they shouldn't be.