Page 3 | Have any gay parents managed to get their children baptised in the Catholic Church?

OrangeSprout · 2023-10-07T05:47:23+00:00

Hi We are a same sex couple but would like our children to be baptised into the Catholic Church? Are we likely to run into any problems? We both have Catholic backgrounds and we know at school that homosexuality was a huge problem but times have rapidly moved on since then and I wonder what the rules would be now? thank you

Evermean · 09/10/2023 15:01

DifficultBloodyWoman · 08/10/2023 00:38

For people to want their child to be a member of a faith that considers their parents irredeemable sinners is hideous.

The Catholic Church actively teaches that no one is beyond redemption.

There are many, many, many things that you can criticize in the Church.

This isn’t one of them.

Or do you just think that the OP isn’t woman-ing and lesbian-ing properly?

What has OP done that requires redemption?

ChimneyPot · 09/10/2023 15:12

Pope Francis has said that homosexual people are children of god and have a right to a family and supports civil same sex marriage laws.
Conservative priests might refuse to do a baptism but they would be acting outside the teachings of the church.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 09/10/2023 15:16

Again, you are suggesting that a gay person would need ''redemption'' which implies there is something wrong about their lifestyle to start with.

No. I am stating that, according to the Catholic Church, nobody is without sin and everyone needs redemption.

''Or do you just think that the OP isn’t woman-ing and lesbian-ing properly?'' No idea of what you are on about with this...

Some posters have implied that, as a woman and as a lesbian, she should not want to be part of the Catholic Church or have her child baptized into it. In fact, I think some have out right stated it. The OP is not conforming to what they expect of a woman and a lesbian. She is not permitted to be an individual but has to live within labeled boxes.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 09/10/2023 15:17

What has OP done that requires redemption?

I haven’t a clue. But nobody is perfect.

hadaye · 09/10/2023 18:06

DifficultBloodyWoman · 09/10/2023 15:16

Again, you are suggesting that a gay person would need ''redemption'' which implies there is something wrong about their lifestyle to start with.

No. I am stating that, according to the Catholic Church, nobody is without sin and everyone needs redemption.

''Or do you just think that the OP isn’t woman-ing and lesbian-ing properly?'' No idea of what you are on about with this...

Some posters have implied that, as a woman and as a lesbian, she should not want to be part of the Catholic Church or have her child baptized into it. In fact, I think some have out right stated it. The OP is not conforming to what they expect of a woman and a lesbian. She is not permitted to be an individual but has to live within labeled boxes.

You really don't see why people might wonder why OP wants to get her son baptised into a religion that teaches that who she is is wrong? That her relationship, the marriage of the child's parents, is wrong and needs "redemption"?

DifficultBloodyWoman · 09/10/2023 23:13

You really don't see why people might wonder why OP wants to get her son baptised into a religion that teaches that who she is is wrong?
I wonder about many things but I respect that everyone should have the right to make their own choices. And I am not so presumptuous to tell that their religion is wrong.

That her relationship, the marriage of the child's parents, is wrong and needs "redemption"?
The Church’s position is that everyone is a sinner. Everyone needs redemption.

Millybob · 09/10/2023 23:26

IT baffles me why you'd want to, but I'd have thought the point of baptism was to embrace the child into the fold, no matter what the church's opinion of the parents?
But I really don't understand why you'd want your child to be part of any club that excludes you?

hadaye · 09/10/2023 23:27

DifficultBloodyWoman · 09/10/2023 23:13

You really don't see why people might wonder why OP wants to get her son baptised into a religion that teaches that who she is is wrong?
I wonder about many things but I respect that everyone should have the right to make their own choices. And I am not so presumptuous to tell that their religion is wrong.

That her relationship, the marriage of the child's parents, is wrong and needs "redemption"?
The Church’s position is that everyone is a sinner. Everyone needs redemption.

But only gay and bisexual people need "redemption" because if their sexuality.

Toddlerteaplease · 09/10/2023 23:44

Most priests I know would do it, for the sake of the child.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 10/10/2023 00:02

hadaye · 09/10/2023 23:27

But only gay and bisexual people need "redemption" because if their sexuality.

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I’m shocked that you think that!

The Catholic Church is far more prescriptive about sexuality than just same sex relationships.

In fact, I suspect you know that already but find this argument easier to make.

hadaye · 10/10/2023 14:20

DifficultBloodyWoman · 10/10/2023 00:02

I’m shocked that you think that!

The Catholic Church is far more prescriptive about sexuality than just same sex relationships.

In fact, I suspect you know that already but find this argument easier to make.

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I don't think that, the Catholic Church does. Don't deliberately misinterpret my words.

vonryanstricycle · 10/10/2023 14:28

43ontherocksporfavor · 07/10/2023 07:44

Why would you want to? I was a cradle Catholic but no longer for all sorts of reasons. I’m straight but can’t be part of a religion that excludes homosexuals.

This not correct.
The catholic Church does not 'exclude' homosexuals.
Homosexual desires are not in themselves sinful.
People are subject to a wide variety of sinful desires over which they have little direct control, but these do not become sinful until a person acts upon them, either by acting out the desire or by encouraging the desire and deliberately engaging in fantasies about acting it out. People tempted by homosexual desires, like people tempted by improper heterosexual desires, are not sinning until they act upon those desires in some manner.

Having said all that I don't understand why you, OP, would want a child baptised into a religion whose teachings you have turned your back on, and that you have no intention of following in the future?
Makes no sense to me.

As others have suggested maybe OP you'd be better with a more 'inclusive' church such as Unitarians?

Evermean · 10/10/2023 14:37

vonryanstricycle · 10/10/2023 14:28

This not correct.
The catholic Church does not 'exclude' homosexuals.
Homosexual desires are not in themselves sinful.
People are subject to a wide variety of sinful desires over which they have little direct control, but these do not become sinful until a person acts upon them, either by acting out the desire or by encouraging the desire and deliberately engaging in fantasies about acting it out. People tempted by homosexual desires, like people tempted by improper heterosexual desires, are not sinning until they act upon those desires in some manner.

Having said all that I don't understand why you, OP, would want a child baptised into a religion whose teachings you have turned your back on, and that you have no intention of following in the future?
Makes no sense to me.

As others have suggested maybe OP you'd be better with a more 'inclusive' church such as Unitarians?

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Well that's okay then, as long as gay people are single for life 🙄In the meantime, this child is going to be send the message thay his parents marriage is sinful.

vonryanstricycle · 10/10/2023 14:40

Evermean · 10/10/2023 14:37

Well that's okay then, as long as gay people are single for life 🙄In the meantime, this child is going to be send the message thay his parents marriage is sinful.

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Well, according to the RCC the marriage is sinful.

Getting the child baptised won't change the church's view.

I don't get your point, actually.

That's why I said that OP might be better off with the Unitarians.

fearfuloffluff · 10/10/2023 14:44

I'd be more worried about the whole banishing Satan thing than the gay element tbh

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 10/10/2023 14:47

I am not Catholic.

But I know a few Catholic members of clergy and met quite a few men who were studying to with the goal of becoming Catholic priests (back in uni). Some of them probably would gladly do so.

Others may have serious concernt even if they would not deny a child this sacrament. Which may make this a very unpleasant experience.
It depends on whether the priest in your parish would do this in a manner that felt safe and comfortable to you...

(and some may obviously believe that the "issue" of homosexuality cannot be overcome / that you can´t raise the child in the Catholic faith due to you being same sex parents, which would mean that they would deny your child the baptism.)

Going to mass a few times and trying to get a feel for the priest would probably be best.

FlamingoYellow · 10/10/2023 14:47

OP - I'm just in the process of organising my own DC's baptism in a Catholic church and I was sent an info booklet as part of the preparation. I've attached a photo of the FAQ page for you. The Catholic priests I've met have all been very vocal about being inclusive, although I'm sure there are others who are less open-minded.

Have any gay parents managed to get their children baptised in the Catholic Church?

vonryanstricycle · 10/10/2023 14:52

@hadaye But why would anyone want to get their child baptised into a religion that sees their sexuality and marriage as a "sin"?

I don't get this either.

I wouldn't join a club if I didn't agree with the rules, or, had no intention of ever following the rules.
It doesn't stack up !

Marblessolveeverything · 10/10/2023 15:06

I'm in Ireland and have been to many a same sex baptism, communion and expecting the confirmations this year. They were in several counties, so I assume there is plenty of priests that will. Hope you manage to arrange it.

Evermean · 10/10/2023 16:14

vonryanstricycle · 10/10/2023 14:40

Well, according to the RCC the marriage is sinful.

Getting the child baptised won't change the church's view.

I don't get your point, actually.

That's why I said that OP might be better off with the Unitarians.

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The point is that it seems ridiculous to get a child baptised into an organisation that believes such awful things about their own parents marriage.

vonryanstricycle · 10/10/2023 16:29

Evermean · 10/10/2023 16:14

The point is that it seems ridiculous to get a child baptised into an organisation that believes such awful things about their own parents marriage.

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Then I agree.

We seem to get these threads every so often where people who are atheist/have no religious views/don't agree with religion/hate religion/hate the church teachings/any, all of these ; want their kids Baptised/Christened.

I can't follow their logic and think some of them are just trying to be goady 🙄

DifficultBloodyWoman · 10/10/2023 20:52

hadaye · 10/10/2023 14:20

I don't think that, the Catholic Church does. Don't deliberately misinterpret my words.

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No. You have misinterpreted me. I was focused on the word ‘only’. And, I repeat, the Catholic Church is far more prescriptive about sexuality than just same sex relationships.

Thisismynewusername1 · 10/10/2023 21:04

I am Irish catholic and there are at least two priests in the family.

one is very senior- his attitude is that churches are struggling (all faiths) and bums on seats is the most important thing.

he couldn’t give a crap whether you’re gay, straight, divorced or whatever, if you want to turn up you will be welcomed.

i asked if I could have my Muslim best friend as a godparent to my child and was told as long as they have a religion, they don’t really care what the religion is.

the next parish over the priest is married 🤷‍♀️. Converted from c of e to catholic, they weren’t going to make him divorce so he carries on priesting with wife in tow.

find a priest with open minded views. Which is most now.

hadaye · 10/10/2023 22:05

DifficultBloodyWoman · 10/10/2023 20:52

No. You have misinterpreted me. I was focused on the word ‘only’. And, I repeat, the Catholic Church is far more prescriptive about sexuality than just same sex relationships.

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And? That's hardly an excuse.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 10/10/2023 22:22

An excuse for what?

You don’t have to agree with all of the beliefs of the Catholic Church. Let’s face it, a lot of Catholics don’t.

But you will find your arguments are stronger if you actually argue about what is in the catechism rather than the popular (and incorrect) view of what is in the catechism.

As I have previously said, the Church has many faults but it doesn’t single people out as sinners. If you object to believing that you (and everyone else) is a sinner in need of redemption then you fundamental disagreement with Christianity. In fact, you will probably disagree with a number of religions.

If your view is an informed one, I respect it as I would you hope do others.