Self Forgiveness and Ego

[Toastandheinz]

Hi all

I have been watching a lot of videos on youtube regarding spirtuality lately. One thing I am hearing a lot in the videos when it comes to self forgiveness is about Ego. They talk about how if you continue to punish yourself for past mistakes, then it's a form of ego?

I see it as having accountability for your actions. I do understand that constantly beating yourself up about something you did in the past isn't productive but how does that relate to having an ego?

Thanks in advance

Ego is personal and individualistic. only the ego would live in the past (or future) the Self remains in the present moment.

@Mysticguru thank you so much for your reply. That makes sense now! I will work on it 🙂

How are you defining the ego and why do you think having one is a bad thing? Are you following an eastern or western spiritual practice?

@Maatandosiris so i've just recently started to watch Eckhart Tolle's videos. His are the ones I mainly watch, then I have also come across some religious ones - where non duality doesn't exist, and they believe there is no "I" or a separate "God" .. it's just the oneness which I am trying to understand still so for now I have moved away from the religious side and sticking with Eckhart Tolle as I personally struggle with the concept of God at the moment and want to start with the basics

A lot of these videos talk about self loathing/guilt being part of an ego. I just sometimes struggle to let past mistakes go and then I do get into cycle of self hatred

Personally not a fan of Tolle, he mixes too many systems si it often becomes rather incoherent once you start digging.

unfortunately much of the spirituality out there is based on Eastern Philosophy- it doesn’t transfer too well into the west IMO. But people often end up there because for one reason or another they struggle with the idea of God.

There is nothing wrong with an Ego. It’s a useful tool for operating in the world, we need our identity to do that, going over past mistakes is useful in that it helps you learn,

yes there is a part of us that’s divine but we operate in the material world and that requires the ego, you just need to use it appropriately.

re nonduality, yes part of us is god, we are the universe (read Boehme and Paracelsus) but we are also man -separate from hod (see the fall and God msn msn/Christ).

what you’re having trouble with is living in the present rather than ego.

try reading Jung.

Try not to over analyse this OP.

There is the experiencer/doer (body mind aka ego) and the witness (aka True Self) of the experiencer/doer.

You are that which perceives the perceiver. Ultimately there is only perceiving/witnessing!!

Depending on who you read this witness/perceiver is called many things. But in Truth it has no name. How can it?

My belief in Christianity means that I understand the ego to be part of feeling pride and being over focused on the self, instead of on God. Feeling sorry for yourself and refusing to accept God's grace comes under the sin of pride.

@Maatandosiris that makes sense, I agree with you. I feel I am struggling with living in the present rather than the ego. I will focus more on meditation and see if I can slowly shift my focus to the present moment rather than living in the past/worrying for the future. Thank you for the suggestion regarding Jung, I will look into it

@Mysticguru I love that, thank you for sharing that with me. It is thought provoking for sure.

@parameciumparty wow I never really saw it that way. When you put it like that it does make me think because yes in a way it is feeling sorry for myself and I know (i hope) God is merciful so if he/she can forgive then really who am I to wallow in self pity etc. Feeling better than I did when I first started this thread thanks to all your replies

Glad this section exists and i'm sure i'll be back with more threads as i'm only just starting out :-)

Thank you all for sharing your wisdom

If you don’t mind me saying it might be worth taking a step back. What are you having trouble letting go of? What are you trying to achieve? What is the purpose of your meditating and what kind of meditation are you doing?

I’m not saying this is you, but often people feel a bit “lost” and feel the answer is to be “more spiritual” without thinking what this means. Traditionally most spiritual practices have followed a system, a system with an end goal whose components are designed to work together in a progressive manner. The new age mish mash is somewhat lacking in this regard.

in my type of practice people are usually advised to spend time in therapy before embarking on their spiritual path, to both make sure you’re mentally strong and also bottom some of these questions out.

@Maatandosiris you are right. I am lost and maybe the spiritual path is not for me which is why I am struggling badly to connect with some of the things I am watching or trying to learn. It seems too much for me to grasp

What I find gives me some sense of peace right now is watching videos about living in the now, videos about detachment, being in the world but not of it, not getting too caught up in what's happening, loosening my grip on life, letting things be - the only videos I find of these kind of topics are from the spiritual teachers but maybe I do need to take a step back and just tackle one problem at a time rather than rush into something

Im a very negative person and i'm trying to climb out of this dark place by listening/watching insightful videos because I want to reach that place of bliss like these people have - where they are completely calm no matter what. I know it sounds silly because it took them years and years to reach that point but I just want to be more at peace and less attached to problems/people/desires

Ah sorry, I maybe didn’t explain that very well. The spiritual path is for everyone, we are spiritual beings after all. How far we get along that path in this life time is another matter. But it is called a path for a reason, it is a journey.

Now it’s really the journey that is important, you can’t just teleport to it. You see the importance of the journey. Journeys to self realisation are as old as as story telling. We see the same thing over again. A series of tasks, steps, adventures, tests from the Epic of Gilgamesh in ancient Mesopotamia, many stories in the OT (often appropriated from other ancient cultures) eg the Fall, tge flood, the Exodus, job - all leaving an existing states, travelling through hardships to reach a new state of being (in the NT see the collection of the disciples), water into wine, tge crucifixion etc through the Greek mythology eg the adventures of Jason the illiad etc, etc, the Alchemical wedding of Christian Rosenkrutz, marina, lord of the rings, Harry Potter. All the same.

But like any journey you need a map. Theres lots of different maps out there, different sets of directions in different languages with different starting points. The first task on any journey is to find the right map and directions in the right language With the right starting point. This will be different for everyone and in the beginning there’s a lot of trial and error to find the right one.

like all journeys you need to make sure you’re prepared. Psychotherapy is good for that. Developing your imagination, developing meditation skills (not there are many types of meditation-discursive meditation, I personally think. Is the most valuable for the journey)

Put the destination to the back of your mind. Concentrate on each step. Remember the first stage of your journey is where you are now. Explore that stage more without feeling the need to rush forward. What does it mean to be you, right now. Write a list of the good and the bad. You say you are a negative person. What does that mean, negative to yourself, negative towards others? Pessimistic. Why are you these things? What else are you? What are the positives and negatives of being a negative person? (This is where discursive meditation comes in).

What you are attempting is what in the west is called Spiritual alchemy - there’s many maps inc the Quabalistic tree of life to navigate it.

in the first instance though stop and breathe, practice four fold breathing everyday for 5 min )assuming no medical conditions like untreated blood pressure problems)

Have you read love yourself like you life depends on it by Ravikant?

It got me out of a dark hole.

@Maatandosiris just been reading your link and it’s really useful thank you