I'm a new Christian and DH very much isnt.... help.

[pinkpip100]

I have very recently become a Christian (i.e. 3 weeks ago!), I would previously have described myself as an agnostic, with DH being an agnostic bordering on atheism, if that makes sense. We are now both very worried about what this means for us, and how on earth we can incoporate our very differing views on God and Jesus into a loving marriage (with 2 DS). DH is trying to be understanding, but in all honesty he just can't understand - and feels as though there is now a huge part of my life he can't share.

Does anyone have any advice or experience of this?

Thanks x

Thanks Mary (and Sue) - I've just ordered it on Amazon

Hi Pinkpip100 - I did Alpha 18 months ago and throughly enjoyed it.

At the time I read a couple of books in a series of 4 called "The God who Changes Lives" which is basically a collection of stories from people who have had their lives changed by doing Alpha and becoming Christians.

A lot of them had similar issues to yours where they had moved on with their faith and were worried about how that left their relationships. Some of them ended up splitting up but many didn't and even some of those who did ended up back together again with the other partner coming to God too. They are worth reading if you like personal stories - some of them are quite inspirational, some touching and you may well find something that you can relate to.

It is early days for your both and the dust is still settling on this change in your relationship. It is still perfectly possible that your husband could even follow your example at some point when he sees the impact it is having on you. It may be next week, next month or in years to come but there is plenty of time.

It seems to me, in my very limited experience, that the key to it all is to have shared values even if you don't have a shared belief. We have a lovely curate at the moment who ended up divorced as a result of her finding her faith many years ago. It wasn't that her husband minded her going to church or that she minded him being an atheist, it was more that he was still caught up in the material trappings of life, worried about getting a better car, better house and all that kind of thing and she found that to have lost its appeal. In the end the husband had an affair and left but the root of it all is probably that they were no longer on the same wavelength and wanted different things from life.

I am not saying for one minute that you will end up divorced just that what is important is that you both want to live your lives in a similar way, even if one of you doesn't believe in God.

I really hope things work out for you though.

WIth mutual respect for each other's outlooks, you should be fine. A possible flashpoint to look out for (depending on the age of your DC) is that both of you will need to respect the DC's rights to believe, or not believe. They will, after all, be growing up with a fine example of mutual tolerance with any luck.