Don’t (Can’t) Believe In God but love being at church

Perfectlystill · 10/09/2023 22:34

It's not hypocritical. Lots of people have doubts now and again - it would be odd not to question.

I go to churches for comfort.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 10/09/2023 22:37

I don't believe in god but I think churches are awesome

The history
The quiet reverence
The respect for other peoples beliefs
Being able to visit other peoples resting places without judgement or persecution

mnahmnah · 10/09/2023 22:39

Have you heard of The Sunday Assembly?

It’s an organisation that has humanist services, much like church services, but without God. They’re all over the country now.

HareSong · 10/09/2023 22:41

I love being in church, and I’m not a Christian. I love the sense of history, of calm, having peaceful space to reflect. Somewhere that is an oasis away from the busy world. I don’t even mind being at services occasionally, even though it’s not my beliefs. I respect other’s faith. Enjoy your visits!

TotalOverhaul · 10/09/2023 22:45

You'd be in keeping with half the congregation then! Loads of people go to church to company or quiet contemplation or to think about life's purpose and morality and duty etc. Or to sing their hearts out. Or for tea and cake afterwards.

It doesn't matter.You are welcome. I wouldn't take Holy Communion (though you can go up and get a blessing if that appeals) but other than that, just turn up whenever you like. Any decent church has a load of very friendly accessible services. Mother's day is usually gorgeous with daffodils handed to all the women at church. There are candlelit advent services, Palm Sunday with palm crosses and blessings of holy water, Easter services with chocolate eggs. There are pet blessings and harvest festivals - all sorts of events where lots of non-regulars show up.

SomeoneSomewhere21 · 10/09/2023 22:45

I’ve been going through a hard time recently and one day just wandered in to an old church. As the door closed behind me and a wonderful silence descended I just felt more calm and peaceful than I have in months.
I’ve been back a few times since and just enjoyed the peace, beautiful architecture and windows.
I don’t think if myself as religious but just felt a strange sense of belonging there somehow.

JaukiVexnoydi · 10/09/2023 22:49

It's totally ok for you to be there.
There is no set obligation for what to believe, or to believe at all. You are welcome, and you belong. You aren't any kind of fake/impostor or any kind of insufficient.

You are hearing a still, small voice of calm. Hold onto that, listen to it, and don't try to force anything that doesn't come naturally.

fearfuloffluff · 10/09/2023 22:51

Is it the buildings you like? Quakers aren't required to believe anything particular, I think. Other denominations like Unitarians are also quite loose on dogma!

MissingMoominMamma · 10/09/2023 22:53

I’m the other way round. I believe very strongly, but I really don’t like going to church.

I feel at peace outdoors.

lavendersbluedillydilly12 · 10/09/2023 22:56

I'm a Catholic and go to Church every week. I believe in God but not once has anyone asked me to sign anything or tell them what I believe. I think it's fine to go!

comfyshoes2022 · 10/09/2023 23:10

It’s not hypocritical. You don’t have to believe anything to attend church.

fivelilducks · 10/09/2023 23:20

Me too!! It makes me feel close to my grandparents, but I'll never be religious

Soozikinzii · 10/09/2023 23:27

The Unitarian Universalists are the most tolerant religious- that may suit you ? They believe everyone is on their own spiritual journey so if you are any faith or even atheist that's up to you . Charles Dickens and Isaac Newton and 5 American presidents were UU .

Original poster

DietHelp · 10/09/2023 23:39

Wow! Thanks for all the replies. It’s so interesting to hear others’ experiences. I think I might start going a bit more often.

I don’t know what it is in particular - maybe it’s a feeling of ‘nostalgia’ because the only church I go to is also the one I went to as a child and I went to a youth club there too. It was also where my parents were married (I was there). I’ve been struggling with perimenopausal anxiety on top of long term health conditions and it was lovely to feel calm and peaceful for a while.

OP posts:

UsingChangeofName · 10/09/2023 23:39

It's not hypocritical.
You would be very welcome in Church. Go for the companionship. Go for the music. Go for the peace. Go to ask questions.

SammyScrounge · 10/09/2023 23:59

Philip Larkin, poet and atheist, wrote 'Church Going' to explain why he visited churches. Here is an extract:

A serious house on serious earth it is,
In whose blent air all our compulsions meet,
Are recognised, and robed as destinies.
And that much never can be obsolete,
Since someone will forever be surprising
A hunger in himself to be more serious,
And gravitating with it to this ground,
Which, he once heard, was proper to grow wise in,
If only that so many dead lie round.

Hawkins0009 · 11/09/2023 00:03

I can respect the institution that's the church and for all the good that's been achieved,

That said I don't see how Religious books are ment to be the word of God when humans keep editing them, changing the philosophy to suit modern times etc, after all if it's all gods words then weather it's day one or day one million, gods words should always be gods words not humans editing them then saying it's gods wishes, as it's like no, it's just humans making the philosophy for humans.

TheFlis12345 · 11/09/2023 00:08

The long serving organist at our local church does not believe in God. It’s not a secret, the Vicar is well aware. They have found common ground in having a level of undefined spirituality of some kind and both wanting to serve the local community, and so get along nicely.

CockSpadget · 11/09/2023 00:08

I absolutely get you, I’m the same. I love old churches and graveyards, they have a completely unique and calming atmosphere to me. I am not religious in the slightest.

TheLeadbetterLife · 11/09/2023 00:10

SammyScrounge · 10/09/2023 23:59

Philip Larkin, poet and atheist, wrote 'Church Going' to explain why he visited churches. Here is an extract:

A serious house on serious earth it is,
In whose blent air all our compulsions meet,
Are recognised, and robed as destinies.
And that much never can be obsolete,
Since someone will forever be surprising
A hunger in himself to be more serious,
And gravitating with it to this ground,
Which, he once heard, was proper to grow wise in,
If only that so many dead lie round.

A very apt poem.

Richard Dawkins calls himself a Church of England atheist, which is an idea that resonates with me. I grew up going to C of E schools and being in the choirs. It’s my culture.

There is sublime architecture and music, and a wonderful, resonant quiet in an old vaulted church or cathedral, of course it’s affecting.

I love sitting in empty churches, or belting out a Victorian hymn, but I don’t believe in god (went through that phase briefly in my teens).

DanaBarrett · 11/09/2023 00:26

I don’t believe in a god, or many gods. I went to CofE Church every Sunday as a child. I love being in church. I visit the shrine of a catholic saint every time I visit a certain city. I find peace in checking in with them.
I’d go the church every Sunday if I could get over my utter lack of belief.
You aren’t alone but I wish I could find some way to reconcile my feelings.

HarrietJet · 11/09/2023 01:10

DietHelp · 10/09/2023 22:32

Hi,

I don’t believe in God; it’s just not something I can reconcile with, however, whenever I’m in church I feel comforted and calm. That said, I’m not in church often - usually go once a year on Christmas Eve and I’ve been to a christening today.

It sort of makes me want to go more often but it would be hypocritical.

Is anyone else like this?

It's perfectly fine. Take whatever you need from it.

ShoesoftheWorld · 11/09/2023 01:19

What you believe or don't believe is not the business of the vicar, or any of the congregation, or anyone but you. As a PP said, you'll be far from the only one attending for reasons like yours. Churches are for everyone seeking peace, community, contemplation, no matter what drew them there.

Isoqueen · 26/10/2023 08:40

I’m a believer but my husband isn’t though he often comes to church with me because he finds it peaceful, nice people and good singing. Of course I always hope and pray that he will become a believer but it is not up to me. Many people go to churches for many different reasons and if you enjoy it, just go.