It's starting to feel like "something" is trying to change my whole belief system.

[2ApplesShortOfABasket]

I would really appreciate some thought on this.

Now let me just start by saying that I am not trying to claim that I am special or anything like that. It is more that a sequence of recent events seem to be calling me to Christinanity where I had no previous inclination at all.

I grew up in COE and I have very negative feelings towards the church in general. I went on to study History which further cemented my feelings towards religion seeing how it has been manipulated by people in power over the years.

However, I have always kept a faith in a greater being that we could never possibly understand. I am spiritual and believe that the world is perfectly formed and to appreciate the beauty we are given. Religion for me, has never played a part in this for the reasons above.

Recently, something happened that pulled my attention to Christianity. I was with my son at the time and we both joked how we were surprised I didn't burn. I don't want to go into too much detail but on two of these occasions it literally landed in my lap just a few days apart. Think a leaflet flying through my window situation.

A few days later something else happened and a few days later something else. All of these events had a very clear reference to passages from the Bible.

Now I know that these could all be coincidence. I am not so stupid to assume otherwise but it has done something strange to my inner psyche. I find it hard to explain. I woke up singing "he's got the whole world in his hands" a song I haven't sung in probably 30 years. I am in my mid 40's now. Is this a mid-life crises? How can a few strange but quite explainable events lead me to be questioning my whole belief system.

The typo in your second paragraph may be another message.

As someone with a faith, I think this sounds exciting. You don't need to feel afraid! You still have an educated brain and the ability to make choices. But something is prompting you to be open minded and explore this for yourself.

Others will be along with suggestions of how to move forward, I'm sure, but personally I would recommend watching The Chosen as a great starting point www.watchthechosen.tv It's a well made series (free to view) based on the New Testament, so looking at core ideas - it certainly gave me plenty to think about.

@2ApplesShortOfABasket

Your post seems very reminiscent of the journey to Christianity of the writer of this article, Paul Kingsnorth, and indeed it played a major inspiration in my own conversion. It’s also a beautifully written essay in its own right. He talks about being almost stalked by Christ and strange things happening as something inward shifted.

www.firstthings.com/article/2021/06/the-cross-and-the-machine

“The story of Christianity,” wrote [Irish philosopher John] Moriarty, “is the story of humanity’s rebellion against God.” I had never thought of that ancient, tired religion in this way before, never had reason to, but as I did now I could feel something happening—some inner shift, some coming together of previously scattered parts designed to fit, though I had never known it, into a quiet, unbreakable whole.

A truth I would surrender to. What was this abyss inside me, this space that had been empty for years, that I had tried to fill with everything from sex to fame to politics to kenshō, and why was something chiming in it now like a distant Angelus across the western sea?”

CS Lewis' 'Surprised by Joy' is also worth a read. He kicked against Christianity for a long time before finally giving in. The book is basically his story of how he tried to rationalise it all and dismiss it and then ultimately became a Christian.

Sounds like litter and wind

How lovely. My first thought was the same as @Notquitegrownup2 - it’s exciting. And the series and reading recommended here are great.

Such luck, that it turned out that the religion he was born into, the one he knew most about, and the one he struggled against for so many years, turned out to be the correct one when studied hard enough. Imagine if he'd been born a Zoroastrian, or in the Olmec civilisation, or on a paleolithic savannah. Would've taken him ages to work it out.

When I start to feel this way it's usually because there's some loneliness or lack of connection going on in my life.

Thank you for the recommendations. I have read that article @DogandMog and it really resonates with my own experiences.

On the contrary @OilOfRoses I am very contented and am grateful to have a fantastic support network around me. I haven't been looking for anything and that's why I am finding it so hard to explain. The article recommended above described the feeling perfectly.

@off I would accept your level of sarcasm if you had something profound to contribute to the conversation, but I am at a loss to understand what you are getting from mocking others without offering a POV. Perhaps you would like to expand?

My POV is that I found the typo hilarious given the context (and that CS Lewis becoming convinced by the religion his society tried to convince him of is unsurprising).

These people helped me explore things OP.

https://www.christianity.org.uk/

Lay off the vindaloo or cheese before bed.

@2ApplesShortOfABasket What do you mean by "the world is perfectly formed"?

I was with my son at the time and we both joked how we were surprised I didn't burn.

I don't understand this bit. Not sure i understand the rest either mind you. You're saying that you're reconsidering your whole, well-grounded stance on religion because of a random leaflet and a song in your head one morning out of thousands? Very strange to frame this as a call to Christianity. If a sweet wrapper had blown in would it have been a call to the corner shop? I get songs in my head everyday, doesn't mean a thing. I feel you're massively reaching but if you're wanting to believe then you don't need to justify it.

@2ApplesShortOfABasket Well, I think it sounds pretty exciting, and I wish it was me.

Maybe one day...😀

Maybe it is time for you to reconsider the path your life is taking. And maybe you want to make some changes. But please, please don't take these events as anything but coincidences which your unconscious is making into a story. We are pattern making and story telling animals. That's what we do.