I'm Irish living in Ireland. I was brought up Catholic, as every person I knew was. I have several family members (uncles) in religious orders.
My faith was very important to me nearly all my life - I went to Mass even throughout university, and tried as much as I could when working abroad, for example.
When I had DC, I went to Mass weekly, and was actively involved in parish activities, church choir, Children's Mass, Nativity etc.
A few things happened. I experienced absolutely awful bullying & pure nastiness, and saw those I previously assumed were tolerant & intelligent & my friends behave in the most prejudiced & judgmental way, peddling utter untruths & conspiracy theories (abortion referendum). I was completely shocked. I found the decision on the referendum very hard to make, ultimately requiring an unreconcilable difference of views for me - I could see the hardship Irish women faced regarding unwanted pregnancies & was very moved, while inherently being of the view that life began at conception. I kept this dilemma to myself but the wider church group (all women 😐 ) put pressure on me to campaign on pro-life side, including sharing utterly false & repugnant information, which I refused to do, and then they decided I was 'pro-abortion' (untrue). There was no space for nuance. Even tho I never discussed my views, ever, the treatment I got was shocking. It occurred at a very vulnerable time for me otherwise, which they knew about & it really affected me. In retrospect, these women had been subtly nasty in other ways while hiding behind their mask of Doing Good. This group included barristers, teachers - educated, bright women, who were entitled to their views but not to peddle extremism.
By the end, I had to leave the choir (which I'd loved) and I stopped attending the usual Masses, to avoid them. Those who didn't participate in the behaviour stood by & did nothing. (It was like some kind of biblical parable!)
Around the same time, my dad died, very painfully and it was traumatic. The minute - the exact minute - he died, I had the sense of there being nothing. It was so strange. It was like my faith left.
I didn't actually want this, and have chased my faith ever since. I go to Mass occasionally, and sometimes find nice ceremonies / churches. But I feel nothing.
I've intellectualised it too, and read various theological books to see if I can understand it. Not so far!
I am not anti-Church, I can separate the failures of the Church, individual priests and the 'system' of the Church with the religion itself & the good that exists.
But I just don't have a faith any longer. I haven't stopped going to Mass fully as I don't want to close the door entirely!
I do think the confluence of events i mentioned, including the utter nastiness exhibited by Good Catholics, was largely part of it but not fully - there was definitely a moment of everything leaving, when my dad died, it was an instant & shocking feeling.
I commented briefly on the other thread before leaving it (I got hammered for trying to explain how Catholic education worked). I very much dislike the absolutism against the Catholic Church & wouldn't particulate in that.
I also think the Church is being blind to its future, old priests who cannot manage parishes, Masses being reduced - in my area, 3 parishes are essentially run by a small team of priests who basically run between churches to provide Masses & it's unsustainable. There's no meaningful planning for a future that's workable.
It does all upset me from time to time & I'm not sure what the answer is. I often wonder if I might join CofI maybe - tho my mother would probably drop dead on the spot so perhaps not for now!