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I have a question for those MNetters who are church goers

38 replies

Yorkiegirl · 10/02/2008 18:01

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Mum2Luke · 11/02/2008 00:22

My church has house groups which consist of about 6 or 7 members and although the church isn't massive (about 70 people) people get contacted/visited if they are either not able to go or ill if not away. We do bible studies, have fellowship meals and are planning days out as families with the kids in the warmer weather to farms/ Lyme Park or Tatton park.

I think that was terrible that your pastor has not contacted you, I think I was away for a Sunday last week and our Pastor texted to see if I was ok, he'd forgot I had told him I was skiving to go to my nephew's birthday party!!!

Its a real family-orientated church and is a community one with our coffee lounge open for the general public to come and have a lunch and a chat, we have a lunch for people who don't have a sunday lunch to come in and have soup and bread and once a month a proper lunch and looking to open a tots group with teen mum/single parent support group available.

Ledodgy · 11/02/2008 00:27

I agree that you should find another church. When my mum died I hadn't been to church for about 8 years although my mum was a regular and the vicar came round to see how I was as did lots of the congregation. Being a regular church go-er I would expect them to come out if you hadn't been, sensing you needed support.

Yorkiegirl · 11/02/2008 22:44

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NorthernLurker · 11/02/2008 22:53

good for you!

cat64 · 11/02/2008 23:07

This reply has been deleted

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Judd · 11/02/2008 23:18

I feel sorry for you too, YG. We go to a Methodist church and DH is a local preacher. I became a methodist when we had the children so that it was "neater".
Do all Methodist churches not have pastoral visitors, then? I am a PV, and so I have about 8 families that I look out for on a Sunday, make an effort to chat to once in a while to see how they are, and pop round with quarterly newletters. I have a couple of families who don't attend at all, so I clumsily pop round to their houses once every 6 months or so, and we have a quick chat.
I would have thought that you should have been secretly flagged up as being in need of extra love and support, rather than being avoided.
Do you mean you are getting no pastoral care at all, or do you mean that the ministers aren't in contact with you?

Kayran · 11/02/2008 23:21

I am a military wife and am frequently left alone. My present church is really large and well run. I get phonecalls if I have missed a service checking everything okay, 90 year old men offer to 'help me out with any diy!' and my little girl is included in all the activities. My previous church was tiny and I had the vicars wife round if i missed service, my little girl WAS the sunday school ... It does not matter if the church is big or small it should be trying to support you in every way possible. I deliberately search out churches when i move to a new area that welcome me in the first few weeks. When you are alone that support often needs to be tangible - search out a true family church and you will genuinely feel like you have inherited a new family (and rememebr they are not just for christnas!!).

EllbellTheBluestocking · 11/02/2008 23:23

Very sad that you've been so unsupported YG. I've had a lot of dealings with the methodist minister attached to where I work just recently because of some fairly tragic things that have happened (sorry - I know that's extraordinarily vague, but I can't go into details on here) and he has been truly amazing and a huge source of strength to all sorts of people. Sorry that you haven't had that sort of support.

I hope you find a church where you will be welcomed and supported.

bloss · 12/02/2008 22:42

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MrsMattie · 12/02/2008 22:44

I find it very sad that nobody from your church has bothered top contact you. I have very recently decided to leave my church and find a new one (see my 'Fuming' thread) because of the piss poor attitude of the parish priest. I am shocked by how un Christian so many supposed leaders of the faith are

ScienceTeacher · 13/02/2008 10:22

You would have a totally different experience in our church. We have a whole team of trained pastoral workers, headed up by paid clergy - there are about 7 or 8 in the team. Their job is to visit anyone in need for as long as they need it, and generally keep them in the loop about church activities.

Yorkiegirl · 13/02/2008 15:39

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purpleturtle · 13/02/2008 15:49

Just found this, YG. So sorry you're in this situation. Wish I felt I knew you well enough to say something meangingful, tbh.

Do you feel like you've been listened to? It's certainly a quick response.

If you fancied a change, I know a Baptist minister in Leeds!

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