Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Joining a church at Christmas?

27 replies

Kevinnn · 16/12/2022 16:36

How do you feel about people joining at Christmas? I've been thinking of joining a local church for a while, but had a run of bad luck health wise and not made it to a Sunday service yet. Is Christmas the wrong time to join? I know it's going to be difficult and lonely over Christmas and feel really drawn to this particular church, like I've had a calling to join there. I don't know if it's the best time to join, I think the Christmas magic might be enough to persuade my grumpy preteen, but that's not the main reason. I've been wanting to do it anyway.

OP posts:

Hollytreenew · 16/12/2022 16:43

I think it is a great time to join a church, especially if you feel drawn to one. Make sure you talk to someone there and say that you are wanting to come along more and ask about what they might have one for your preteen. Hope it goes well!

Ohtheweatheroutsideistoocold · 16/12/2022 16:45

There is never a wrong time to join a church

PinkPlantCase · 16/12/2022 16:47

I don’t think there’s ever a wrong time to join a church!

Joining in at Christmas would be lovely and very accessible too as the nativity story is one we are all very familiar with, there’ll likely be songs that you know too.

carefulcalculator · 16/12/2022 16:48

They'll have you whenever you join. There are still quite a few people who only go at Christmas.

isittheholidaysyet · 16/12/2022 16:50

There are advantages and disadvantages.

Christmas is always full of visitors and strangers. So you may meet people, but that doesn't mean they will be there next week.
Equally many regulars will be away, so it will not be a 'normal' Sunday in terms of who is attending. Also, we usually have tea and coffee after church, but not at Christmas because people are running home to rescue the turkey or to be with the family.

I know we try to to put on a big effort at Christmas to make everything look and feel fantastic, becuse its a special occasion. However half the people who usually do things are away. I'm trying to prepare music and singing, for example, but only 3 out of 10 choir members will be there on Christmas morning and 5 for midnight Mass (the same 3 and 2 others).
A few years ago we had all our best singers, (people home from university etc) and sounded so fab that many visitors wanted to come back. This year will be shit.
So don't take what you see at Christmas to necessarily the norm, either way.

Taking all these things into account, I would say come, try it. You can be far more anonymous than a normal Sunday, but equally remember this is not how it usually is.

Also, whenever you come, remember most people are shy, and a lot of church goers seen to be introverts. So don't expect people to talk to you much at first, unless you make it clear you want to be spoken to.
Even for the most social of people it is hard to talk to a complete stranger when they give you no cues to work with.

Wherever you go, I hope it goes well.

BlueChampagne · 16/12/2022 16:50

Agree - do it! It's a good time to try it out anonymously, if that suits you. See how it goes. And I hope the Christmas magic works. You could find out if they have a youth group too.

SeptemberDreams · 16/12/2022 16:51

Go for it, I’m sure they will be delighted to welcome you! We have very recently started attending a church near us so right before Christmas and everyone has been so welcoming. They have a lot on for children and young people too which is very appealing to us as hopefully our children will grow up there and make good friends.

2tired2bewitty · 16/12/2022 16:51

Go! The only thing to be aware of is that some of the people there might not be regulars, either because they are there visiting family, or because some regulars are away visiting their families, so don’t be put off if the welcome isn’t quite as you imagine, they will be delighted to see you, and even more so if you go back in January 😊

CatherineNotSoMuch · 16/12/2022 16:52

They'll welcome you any time, and if you feel you are being called to it then I'd go and see if it feels right.

Ormally · 16/12/2022 16:52

If you like Christmas then it's a lovely time of year to join - for me, the music especially makes it. If Christmas is a bit difficult for any reason, then it could be harder. Through December you get Advent, which is meant to be a preparation period that includes self-examination (still great music for my taste), then the feast days are the 24th onwards with the late evening service going over midnight to the 25th as the most special.

The services will be a lot busier than usual, with visitors and people who want to celebrate in December but maybe don't come regularly. Most of the rest of the year will be less busy.

Hope you enjoy it if you try it out, but do try a few places for size if you feel you would like to (most people do if they feel Christianity works for them, and your views and preferences do move about over time, I've found).

Original poster

Kevinnn · 16/12/2022 16:58

I feel like an imposter, as I was not bought up with a faith, but I feel really drawn to the church and have been invited to attend previously. It's definitely something I want to explore further, the people I know who go there all seem really lovely as well. I think I should push myself to go. They have lots of youth stuff going on and my preteen has asked to go before as she has friends there. I feel like we need something more this Christmas, as well. I've been feeling down and lost lately, like I have no community or friends, really. I believe in God and had some experiences with spirituality, but not sure how I feel about all that's in the Bible. I'm at the beginning with my personal belief, I guess, but is it enough to go for the community and work out the rest? I guess I'll never know unless I go find out.
Thank you you've all been very reassuring

OP posts:

Freysimo · 16/12/2022 17:02

Please do go. I was like you a few years back hadn't been for years and years, but I was made to feel very welcome. Now I'm on the cleaning rota, but that's another story! Churches really need their congregations.

Original poster

Kevinnn · 16/12/2022 17:03

I think that my daughter has felt drawn to it too is amazing, because to get her to put the devices away for long enough to talk to me about anything these days is pretty amazing. We've both been really touched by the kindness of one family there, which is good we know some friendly faces but also means being anonymous is unlikely!

OP posts:

Original poster

Kevinnn · 16/12/2022 17:04

I'd be happy to be on a cleaning rota if it meant feeling like I had a purpose again, I really do feel like a ship without mast a lot of the time.

OP posts:

Ormally · 16/12/2022 17:09

That's great that they have been welcoming to your preteen. Things for the older young people are quite variable but when they are done well, this is a good support. When I say that a few people move around as their preferences/ needs change, I was thinking of friends who had teenagers, and other places offered more that fitted their development.

Church is often a good place to get some space to think about spiritual connections and growth, but it's still a building and a group of human people - trying their best, being a bit short-sighted, and falling short quite a bit (as the sermons should make clear!) It's rarely a perfect experience, sometimes can hurt, like anywhere else, but there are many small and memorable moments that do bring some peace or encouragement, and you bring some to others sometimes too.

Have a lovely Christmas.

Babdoc · 16/12/2022 17:16

Stop worrying or overthinking it and just go, OP! You don’t need a degree in theology, or to agree literally with every word in the Bible (unless that particular church is a weird fundamentalist cult!).
Jesus welcomes everyone, and offers God’s love to all who seek it with humble hearts. His congregation try to continue his ministry in this world, and will welcome you on His behalf.
Christmas is a lovely time to join. The Sunday school kids may well be performing a nativity, which is often a hilarious riot. Singing well known carols together in a community of voices is very emotional, and listening to the sublime poetry of the Bible readings from the King James version, is at the heart of making Christmas special.
This season isn’t about tinsel and crap and buying presents you can’t afford. It’s about God’s gift of His own self to the world, in the form of Christ - “the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us”. Something really worth celebrating. Go for it!

yoshiblue · 17/12/2022 18:34

I agree it's a good time to dip your toe in and you won't be the only person there for the first time or haven't been all year.

I would recommend going to a Sunday service tomorrow (4th Sunday of advent) and to go to one of the services on Christmas Eve, then take it from there.

Different churches will work in different ways, but I started attending a Catholic Church in the Summer and am going through RCIA classes to prepare me to be able to be officially received into the church.

Ragwort · 17/12/2022 18:41

Absolutely you should go, I am a regular church attender and we are always encouraged to invite friends at Christmas..obviously we can invite friends any time but Christmas gives us more of a reason and many people feel comfortable with singing well known carols etc. I am sure you will get a warm welcome and it's lovely that your DD is keen to go. My DS started going to a church youth club at 12 ... not the church I attend (which has a very mature congregation!) but he loved it and got involved in many church activities and ten years later and a Uni student he still attends church and will be meeting up with all his 'home church' friends over Christmas.

rachrose8 · 18/12/2022 09:17

Hello,
As many people have said, Churches will be very welcoming at Christmas. But this is a slightly different time of year so they may not have specific youth things. For example today all the childrens groups perform a carol in the All Age Carol service this morning, then this afternoon/evening we have Carols by Candlelight. But then there is nothing specific for youth until the school term restarts.
My advice is enjoy the Christmas Services then go back in January to see what happens on a week by week basis.

Olinguita · 18/12/2022 19:19

Do it! Do it! Do it!

Come back and let us know how you got on.

Other posters made some good points about trying the same church in Jan as the atmosphere may be different.... But sufficient into the day. If you are feeling drawn to it then go for it!

Vincitveritas · 20/12/2022 10:41

Go for it, there's no time like the present!

horseymum · 21/12/2022 09:10

I do hope you go along, Christmas is my second best time of year at church ( after Easter). Don't be disappointed if you don't gel with people, the music, the service etc straight away. Churches are meant to be full of flawed people, not perfect people and we often get things wrong. Some new people like to be left alone, some like lots of chat so it's sometimes hard to judge. You don't need to have read the Bible or know much about God to go to church. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

CraftyGin · 23/12/2022 19:52

30 years ago, my friend invited me to Carols by Candlelight, and I have never looked back.

Christmas is a great time to start going to church. It is not weird at all.

Lougle · 23/12/2022 19:58

You'd be very welcome at our church. No issue at all with visitors, or potential regulars. Try it!

formulatingAresponse · 23/12/2022 19:59

You don't need to join

You just go along and become part of the congregation

No questions asked

Flip

1 2