As christmas approaches I have been thinking a lot about how hard it is for many people- myself included to live up expectations of happiness and joy and have a perfect instagram worthy christmas.
Where no one is sick or sad or feeling loss..
Part of my own healing journey has let me to a imperfect place where I realise that we as humans sit with many emotions and circumstances- all at the same time.
Some parts of our lives are wonderful, we share love, cuddles, but we also hold worries, fear, sadness- all at the same time! We are pretty wonderful creatures.
I know I have been guilty in the past of thinking if only X, Y and z were resolved then I would have happy life, a perfect christmas.
Even if these concerns disappear they will be replaced by others.
I have had time off work for the past week or two, time to take christmas slowly, pacing myself, time for thinking, and lots of time alone.
I have come to realise that for me christmas is about celebration despite the unpleasant things in life. That warrior spirit that keeps us moving forward, that spark that we find to still find pleasure- and hope.
So I am approaching this time with more of a bugger it attitude. I can't fix everything, I have sad circumstances that may not change- but I can take breath, I can light a candle simply to celebrate the fact I am alive- warts and all.
Joy does not arrive with a fanfare,
on a red carpet strewn with the flowers of a perfect life.
Joy sneaks in, as you pour a cup of coffee,
watching the sun hit your favourite tree, just right.
And you usher joy away,
because you are not ready for it.
Your house is not as it must be,
for such a distinguished guest.
But joy cares nothing for your messy home,
or your bank-balance,
or your waistline, you see.
Joy is supposed to slither through the cracks of your imperfect life,
that’s how joy works.
You cannot invite her, you can only be ready when she appears.
And hug her with meaning,
because in this very moment,
joy chose you.