Any Witches Here?- Part 17.

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.
A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration..
This is the 17th thread- anyone looking for a deep dive into juicy magical topics may like to browse previous threads.....

It is a long list!!

Part 1 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3241689-Any-witches-here?pg=1
Part 2
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3338025-Any-Witches-Here-Part-2?pg=1
Part 3
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3366411-Any-Witches-Here-Part-3?pg=1
Part 4
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3404406-Any-Witches-Here-Part-4-Edited-by-MNHQ?pg=1
Part5
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3437092-Any-Witches-Here-Part-5?pg=1
Part 6 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3482023-Any-Witches-Here-Part-6?pg=1
Part 7 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3520269-Any-Witches-Here-Part-7?pg=1
Part 8 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/a3568622-Any-Witches-Here-Part-8?pg=1
Part 9 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3637696-Any-Witches-Here-Part-9?pg=1
Part 10
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3726266-Any-Witches-Here-Part-10
Part 11
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3850635-Any-Witches-Here-Part-11
Part 12
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3997761-Any-Witches-Here-Part-12
Part 13 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4116107-Any-Witches-here-Part-13
Part 14www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4213962-Any-Witches-Here-Part-14
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4328830-Any-Witches-Here-Part-15?msgid=113505801
www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4435233-Any-Witches-Here-Part-16?page=40&reply=118807589

This beautiful poem popped up in my feed- I thought I would share-

god is a mother
and with that
sentence

the world stops
the world always stops
when woman and
divine
commingle

as if the
feminine
dilutes the
miraculous
when in reality
it embodies it

when jesus turns water
to wine
they clap
but when women turn breasts
to milk
they cringe

a broken man’s body
is celebrated each sunday
while a broken woman’s body
is just hidden away

and it’s no wonder
that mother is a word
used by men

to demonize those

who don’t claim the name

and weaponized to shame
those who step out of line
because

their ideal

woman
plays the role of nurturer
and silencer
in pews

built and led by them
but
when god
becomes mother
she is neither quiet
or compliant

she leads confidently
she questions authority
she commands respect

which might be the problem

for mother god
did not gather us up
carelessly
but took her time with it
she fed us milk
birthed our souls

and broke her body

and the permanence

can be uncomfortable

and to disentangle god

from motherhood
is impossible

but
to disentangle god
from womanhood
is sinful

because seeing god as mother
is one step closer

to seeing god in me

and it’s in that

i am truly

born again
~ Kaitlin Hardy Shetler
Kaitlin Shetler Poetry
www.skeptileptic.blogspot.com/.../poems-for...

@EmmaAgain22 the person in the dream - do you trust them? For me, the light represents knowledge but the lamp being made of turquoise makes me question the knowledge as turquoise stones are so often fake so I would question the knowledge from this person. But if you do, they will not like it!
turquoise may have a different meaning for you - so maybe think about what that means to you?

@speakout tha k you for that poem! ✊🏻

Thanks, that's interesting.

I don't know the person. Everyone in the dream was fictional, but his was an office I wandered into by mistake!

Hello all,

Finally some time to sit and reply, which I am doing from my bed with a steaming cup of tea beside me. There's three dogs and one cat on the bed with me and another of my cats curled up on the windowsill.
The last 4 days have been incredibly frosty here in the southeast with minus and low temperatures and it's exactly the winter weather I love - even though I work outdoors.
I can hear the garden birds outside but aside from that everything is so still.

I was reading back some of the messages and I think it was @speakout that wrote about a secondhand sofa and how her furniture is mostly preloved. I can truly relate to this. The same is true for many of my clothes. I was on a low buy this year and used up a drawer of body lotions, body butters, body sprays. When I finally need to buy new I'm aiming to buy those that are not packaged in plastic and come from the UK.

I hope I'm getting the names and references right! Sincerest apologies if I've mixed you all up.
I wish I could save this message then go back to the thread and check.

@VioletCharlotte I hope your health is improving and that you were able to get to your class. I tried Pilates in the first lockdown following a YouTube video and I enjoyed that sample - I must try it again. Years ago I used to do yoga and really felt the benefit of going every week.

This year has been a year of so much growth and adjustment. The early part was all about adjusting to being self employed after being salaried all my life and working full-time again, after years of part-time when my children were little. Along with visiting universities with eldest for new applicant days.

When Imbolc arrived I dedicated this year to returning to witchcraft and paganism.

My eldest sat A-Levels, which he didn't think he'd get the grades he needed and was prepared to do Yr 14 at college, whilst my youngest sat GCSEs.
Then eldest underwent planned major surgery and because the hospital was 2 counties away and he is high functioning autistic, I was admitted with him.
We spent 5 days there during the heatwave. I had my first experience of staying in a Ronald MacDonald House for parents and once eldest was able to leave the ward I could bring him over to the house for a bit of respite.
Eldest did get those grades and in a blink of an eye turned 18 and was off!
That was a gut punch but he's settled, making friends and gaining more confidence.

Youngest got the GCSEs he needed to stay at Sixth Form and has really upped his game when it comes to homework.

I'm also in Yr 1 of a degree course so life is full.

Once the evenings became longer, I felt the call of the Morrigan, she's been doing this for the last couple of years so I found a lovely ritual for Samhain which was grounding and spiritually nourishing and a good thing as DH then went through an unexpected but very serious health crisis: a routine scan for a pancreatic cyst showed 2 DVT's, one on his right lung and one in his left groin. Thankfully swift action by his consultant and a day spent in emergency care resolved this but it was frightening.

I'm hoping we'll be on calmer waters now.

The full moon usually affects my sleep, so I can empathise with those of you who suffer. This time, though, I slept really well but I was out with my book club that evening and I did have camomile tea before bed.

My altar was dusted in preparation for Yule and when we're out with the dogs I'll pop my boline in my pocket and see if I can bring some holly home - permission requested.

One of you (I'm so sorry I can't remember) wrote about a dream of a turquoise lamp and I wonder if anything here signifies a situation you're experiencing:
I looked up the meaning of the colour turquoise and it can be interpreted as a colour of relaxation, patience, clarity and friendship but the lamp obviously illuminates the dark, if the lamp was switched on it could mean that there is positivity coming from a relationship and the annoyance / anger displayed by the man doesn't necessarily mean negativity.
My intuition feels that if this is relevant, there's something protective around this relationship, perhaps you see something that others don't and you find yourself defending this relationship?

Blessings to all of you:
In the name of the goddess, the mother, the maiden and the crone.
As it is above so it is below.
So mote it be

@EmmaAgain22 i would say you’re seeking knowledge then and honing in on the brightest light but maybe you should trust yourself?

@GenExer good to catch up with you.

I’m another who can’t sleep properly when the moon is full - too much energy! If you ever want to see the effect of nature on people just visit a school when it’s full moon and windy! I like the peace of the dark moon. Bliss.

Beautiful poem @speakout.

I had a very odd prophetic dream the other night that came to fruition the very next morning. I have very few of these, but when I do they tend to turn out to be accurate. I had them about both my gran's and my mother's terminal illnesses, and when these came to fruition I felt I was living in a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I would really rather not know.

@GenExer that's a powerful blessing I always find affecting, thank you for posting it.

GenExer good to see you again- and to hear of your busy year, full of good things and challenges.
If I am writing a lengthy post and want to refer to previous posts I keep two tabs open- one I am writing, and the other to scroll back and read.
Or even better I write posts in word if they will be longer, becuae it is very infuriating typing a lengthy reply and losing it.
Yoga was good this morning, and I am back doing some batch cooking to simplify my week, everything is on a low simmer or slow cooker while I sit down for a well deserved coffee.
The snow has held off today, but is still lying since Friday. temperatures haven't climbed above zero, I think the cold spell will last a while longer.

I wish I’d done that with a word document speakout! Another one here who’s post disappeared into the ether..

I’ve been absent for a while too, perimenopause knocked me for six. I’m hopeful now of feeling a semblance of balance creeping back in bit by bit. I’m sorry to hear of others here struggling with illness and the impact of covid. Sending healing thoughts as the winter invites us all to tend to our roots. I wish you comfort and cozy evenings.

Thank you for the poem speakout, it resonates for me as I know it will for others here whose witchcraft is intertwined with feminism. A reminder of raw female power and its divine life force despite the oppressive nature of the patriarchy.

It’s good to sit amongst friends in this nurturing space. Thank you for holding space in a way that makes it so easy to come back and sit quietly as the fog clears.

wishing everyone a peaceful evening

Thank you Gen and Trenzor for the dream interpretations. It is so interesting. There was a lot of other meaningful stuff in this dream but that was a bit I couldn't understand at all so thank you for your thoughts.

Mariel sorry to hear of your experiences with dreams.

I'm glad I saw the lovely full moon before the sky filled up with fog. This freezing weather really wears me out but happily I don't have to venture out, as long as mum stays well.

I love this cold weather we're enjoying at the moment. It's given me a much needed energy boost and starting to feel Christmassy. I went for a long walk through fields and forests this morning with my friend and our dogs, it felt like being in Narnia! Everything looks so magical and mysterious when covered in frost.

Speakout thank you for that poem, it resonated with me too. Your day sounds lovely, I've always wanted to have a go at wreath making.

Aerwyna it's so lovely to see you. Ok so glad you're starting to feel better.

Genexer good to see you too. I smiled when I read about your dogs and cats. My dog always curls up on bed with me too, their presence is comforting and reassuring isn't it?

Freezing here too= minus 7 this morning.
I have heard a couple of cars pass and the road gives off a loud cracking noise of ice breaking as the tyres drive over.
Hopefully the sun will warm things up a bit when it rises.
I have yoga this moring- I will aim to get there a little earlier so I can turn up the heating in the hall. I feel the cold badly, it takes a lot for me to be too hot.
DD will be over soon, we are planning a trip to a local garden centre to choose a christmas tree, we may have a snack or lunch at the cafe there.
Aerwyna it is good to see you, hope you are keeping warm, I am pleased you dropped in.
It is feeling really strange to have time off work, I am not used to having days off- and I have a couple of weeks ahead of me.
I am using this time to have deep healing, eating well, sleeping lots, yoga, meditation, shadow work, healing rituals.
I work hard and carry a lot for others, this is time to make sure I am top of the pile in my own life.
Time for my morning ritual. I put clean clothes on the radiator before getting in the shower so they are warm and toasty.
My yoga teacher was playing this music on Friday- it's just the kind of music I like to listen to when I am getting ready in the morning, or creating calm in the house- I hope the link works. It's a female voice, meditation/mantra style.

The crunch of ice is a particular favourite of mine. Hope you are managing to keep warm Speakout

December funk has hit me hard this year. I am counting the days down to the solistice hard, and the equinox harder. I know i shouldn't wish my life away but i am really struggling this year. And unfortunately life circumstances means outside pressures are not likely to improve.

HillsBesideTheSea I am sorry to hear of your funk.
Life can be very challenging at times.
I think many of us have negative life situations that we have no control over= we simply have to accept.
For me that means shrinking the amount of headspace and emotional energy that I am prepared to give.
I still do what I can to help, and will be there in a heartbeat if someone I love needs my support, but I claim the right to spend most of my thoughts and awareness in a beatiful birdhouse in my soul.
Things will never be perfect, life is full of sharp edges and bad situations, but cultivating self compassion means I protect my spirit.
If I start to fret or feel anxiety rising I allow it, I observe it, but I also invite it to stand down, as staying in that muddy place is not good for me.
If my bad feelings threaten to overwhelm me or stick around too long, I use that as an invitation to treat myself in a more loving and kind way- as you would a friend.
We can't always escape a situation, but we can fill our days with pockets of calm and love, slipping into a soft warm spot for a dose of the fuzzies.

Well i am tired of having to just accept it.
I had to just accept it when after ds was put on melatonin when the doc said they couldn't treat my now permenant insomnia because it would cause a safe guarding issue for ds.
I had to accept the fact it was me that had to deal with the adjustment emotions when a parent was given a terminal diagnosis
I have to deal with the fact that I am the one who have to take on the battles about capability and driving and mental capacity for the other parent. And all the emotions that they have to process with that
I am tired of the one battling against people who have eating disorders, supporting those with MH issues but refuse to recognise and accept help for them.
I am tired of other people's welfare being put before mine. Having to turn down procedures because it would cause safe guarding issues for others. Working myself past the point of exhaustion just to try to find some aspect of joy to support those who are struggling.
I am tired of being a woman where there are no perks and quite frankly perimenopause can fuck off with its constant subluxation.
I don't want to have to accept it.
And i would really like the ability to try to build a future past this role of caring. I have no pension. I have gone from carer of an SN kid to carer of elderly parents. I have no future security at all. And i don't want to have to accept that either.
And honestly. I am done with being told by society I should.

And yet I am too tired, and drained to do much more then stare into space and dream about running away right now. And i miss the one person who could make me feel safe. but the dead aren't very good for a hug and a wise word. And someone who has been dead 2 decades would be a terrible hug giver.

HillsBesideTheSea I hear you.
It isn't easy being a carer, if you allow it can devour you.
We have to stake a claim in our lives, prioritise our own welfare and set boundaries on our giving if it is becoming too detrimental to our own well being.
I have been on a deep healing journey this year.
By accepting a situation I don't mean we should shoulder a burden and get on with it, rather just coming to know it isn't all our responsibility, and sometimes we can't fix things.
And coming to know that is OK.
Claim your perks- they are usually not served to us- we have to carve them out.

Do you have a carer's support agency near you?

There is no support. And honestly this latest round of diagnosis shatters any illusion of safety i ever had. Those with dementia are known to often go through the accusation phase and I know i do not have the strength to survive that. And the way things are going, it is coming. I am already person non gratis for getting GP and assessments involved. I just want to feel and be safe. It would be really nice. My safety vs their welfare. Life is an arse sometimes.

HillsBesideTheSea I mean this in the gentlest of ways- you cannot sacrifice your own well being in the service of others.
We all want to support our loved ones, but not if we are consumed by the process.
Are you sure there are no carers support organisations near you ?
I know all cities have some kind of support organisation for carers, they are often charities, and do amazing work.

I live in the arse end of nowhere, the wrong county to access city/big town resources and my county does not have resources. I know because i worked the industry until last year.
I am just tired and realised today that i have only very viewed safety as an illusion easily shattered. That those that claim to love us are the ones who destroy us the most strongly.
And there have been so many big emotions and big balances flying around the last few weeks that this was due to come crashing down. And December - yeah I hate December and christmas for reasons. And no matter how hard i fight for happy new memories, and changing up things. I still struggle.

I am going to step away, dose up on pain killers for the shoulder I have subluxed again, and deal with the drama that has just walked through the door.

And thank you for the wise words. I think i needed to say this out loud. It is not new, there are many who feel this way. But sometimes we need to say it.

I follow this thread but don’t post often. My heart goes out to you @HillsBesideTheSea . I know exactly how you feel. It’s all very well being told to prioritise yourself but it isn’t that simple. If you live with an ongoing situation that can’t be changed it is soul destroying. I agree with @speakout but I totally get how incredibly hard it is to put into practice. I moved from an area where there was no help at all to an area which does have services for Carers It has helped me to some extent, but not the cared for person. There is nothing at all for the cared for person which I find extraordinary . Just to say I totally get your feelings of despair and exhaustion . It’s so so hard.

RosettaStormer I agree it is hard, but it is possible to more towards
a situation where we can ease worry, reduce anxiety and find some joy.
We as women are particularlt vulnerable to giving so much we are burned out.
We cannot give from an empty cup.
While self love, compassion and self care are paramount for ourselves, we can ultimately give more to others when we prioritise ourselves.

When we care about ourselves others benefit too.
Putting ourselves first, kindling our own flame, our own energy, actually means we are a stronger support for others.

@HillsBesideTheSea I've no practical advice to offer, but wanted to let you know that I hear you. I believe the most powerful thing a women's circle (and that's how I see out little community here) can offer is to provide a safe, nurturing space to share our sorrows, our joys, our grief, our elation... in the knowledge that we have the support and understanding of our sisters. Please don't step away, just sit in the energy and let us hold you xx

Wonderful, eloquent post. I second it completely.

@HillsBesideTheSea that sounds so, so tough. The caring role is one of the hardest things ever, and it's still one society assigns to women by default. I've been there. My brother and I both had a role in caring for our terminally ill mum, but if I headed off even briefly for a research trip, it was me the hospital automatically called if there was an issue. No questions asked: I'd simply have to drop everything and come back. After about the third occasion, I gave up and had to put my work into abeyance. In the end, my mum's brain tumour affected her balance and she had no awareness of the fact that she might fall. I couldn't lift her; I had to watch her like a hawk all the time to make sure she didn't try to stand unaided. In those circumstances, if you run out of milk you do without, until someone else gets home.

All she could do was feel terrible for visiting her condition on me. They were such hard times, and life had to stop for a time. I was thirty, and completely ill-equipped to cope with anything of the kind. It can feel as though there's no respite.

Sometimes, even knowing others understand helps. Sending you love, light and empathy.

Morning all.

I'm struggling again with a permanent state of anxiety. It's invading my dreams too and affecting my sleep. I have no idea what is behind but it is affecting my ability to cope with daily life.

Two days ago my tumble drier tripped all the electrics. When we changed fuses etc and plugged it back in, it went bang again. Never mind, thought I. I can use the radiators and woodburner to dry things. Then for some reason the downstairs radiators were not warming. So now we have an issue with the Rayburn and are at the mercy of when an engineer can get to us.
I have given myself a talking to, and feeling the gratitude that I have the wood burners to keep us warm in the meantime. It is just the inconvenience that has unsettled me.

Oh well. It's my DS last day at school today before Yule and I managed to bag a parent ticket to the school panto trip (Oh Yes I Did!) which is always a lovely start to the holidays and I am so looking forward to no school run and spending some time together relaxing. He comments every morning how beautiful the sunrise is as we drive to school. As we are 30 mins from the east coast we are going to rise early one day next week, bundle up and drive to watch the sun rise over the horizon. I'm very much looking forward to sharing the experience with him.

queenrollo I am sorry to hear you are stuggling with anxiety, it can be hard and can overwhelm us if we have to deal with things outside the norm like broken heating.
I have suffered anxiety for decades, but is pretty much controlled now.
I know my triggers and can take steps to defuse my anxiety before it becomes a problem. I also use preventative ways to make sure my anxiety is not running the show.
I do sympathise though, it is very unpleasant, and can give many physical symptoms too.
I hope you enjoy the panto today- I often helped out at school trips when my children were at school.
It's a fun time. I hope it will take your mind off the heating. and I hope you can get a repair soon.
I have my christmas tree up, lights on, but tran out of steam last night so still to decorate. I will do that this morning once OH has gone to work, and my mother has been picked up - a pensioner's mini bus service that takes them to shopping centres etc. She knows the regulars and will have tea in a cafe and do some shopping.
It feels so strange having no work- in a good way,there is so much temptation to fill it with activity, painting or bits of DIY, clearing the garage.
But I am resisting, and only nurturing activities allowed!
I need to do christmas shopping this morning- will be online though, it is so cold outside, minus 8 this morning.

It is also St Lucia day, popular in the Scandic countries. I know the christians claim it as a saint day- but watching some of the ceremonies- the white dress, crown of candles, red ribbon, has a very pagan feel.
A light ceremony.