Any fellow Jews here who could be my sounding board re: reform/orthodox conversion?

[ChagSameachDoreen]

Would love to chat to other Jewish MNers, if any denomination.

I'm not halachically Jewish - converted a Reform five years ago, and have Jewish ancestry on my father's side. DH and I are members of a Masorti shul on paper, and married Masorti, but since relocating to a city with just Orthodox and Reform shuls, we've found ourselves in an awkward position - I can attend the Orthodox shul with him (and our baby DD) but we can't be members. Reform welcomes us, but my husband isn't keen on the Reform service.

My heart lies in progressive Judaism, but I'm also aware that our daughter's non-halachic status might be an issue for her growing up. The Jewish school in our city will accept her, but what about later in life as she navigates the world of Judaism? I feel like if I pursue an Orthodox conversion (she would automatically convert too) it would give her more options. I've heard that the London beth din isn't quite as strict now that the former head rabbi has left, so it might not be as long and arduous a process as in years past.

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation?

Hmm, it’s difficult in that situation.

My heart is progressive but I like a more traditional service and a lot of my family are strictly orthodox. I don’t care what they think of me but I don’t need to worry about status issues.

i understand what you mean about your daughter and the community can be funny about stuff like status even when they are not observant at all.

It used to be that the London Beth Din wouldn’t convert any candidates outside of London. So it may be moot anyway. However possibly you could find someone orthodox to do a conversion but it wouldn’t be recognized by many (including religiously by state of Israel or by united synagogue).

it’s a mess but I hope you sort it out. It’s all too common these days and I would like to see more mainstream acceptance of progressive Judaism.

DH is the child of an orthodox convert (but irreligious), i did a reform conversion. I guess I am lucky cos i live in London so have options like Akiva, Eden and Jcoss which are cross-communal for school options.

My DH said that a lot of the religious orthodox Jewish people don't fully accept him despite his mum converting under the London Beit Din. Of course this is his experience but I would liken it to being a child of an immigrant; you are Jewish and everyone agrees you are halachically Jewish.. but there is just something different. My DH's first girlfriend's parents told him he was 'Christian'. Yes that is against the tenets of Judaism to love the convert and is also untrue, but you do get people like that everywhere.

Also I don't know if it is a coincidence, but so far my DH and his siblings have not been with any traditional orthodox jews. DH's sister married a secular Jew (after she made aliyah), Dh married a non jew who converted reform later. It could very well be that for your DD, it may not matter whether she is considered Jewish under orthodox auspices because there are a great many secular Jews...

Which is why i think you should follow your heart rather than what you perceive your DD needs.

I’m converting to Reform Judaism been going for 5 months now, so a way to go. I work in a busy transport environment , get go speak to Orthodox Jews on a regular basis. Never had any negativity about reform, in fact they’ve all thought it was positive. I did explain there’s Jewish a few generations back on my mums side so don’t know if that helped. I tend to think anyone who judges you on the flavour of Judaism you practise or treats you differently for being a convert isn’t worth knowing.