Struggling with life's big questions and my place in the world

[PurpleSky300]

I just wondered if anyone feels like I do - constantly struggling with thoughts about life and death, why we're here, what our purpose is, what happens to us when we die, sin and forgiveness, etc.

I try to maintain some belief in God but I think it's because I need answers. I find it very hard to deal with the chaos and cruelty of the world and to think there's nothing afterwards. At the same time, I can't bring myself to believe in miracles and the supernatural and eternity floating on a cloud either.

I am always trying to work out my thoughts and ideas on how God balances good and evil, and where I fit in when it comes to trying to live a good life. I watch all kinds of films with redemptive themes - one of my favourite films is Longford which is about the friendship between Myra Hindley and a Christian peer - but I never feel any more secure in the things I believe. I also have a tremendous fear of dying before I can figure these things out, and making the 'wrong choices' etc

I just wondered if anyone felt the same.

I think about the struggle between good and evil a lot. My feeling is that there are so many evil ppl in the world but that once you know how to see it, you've never confuse them with say, good people who make mistakes. It just has its own totally different signature (think psychopaths ect...but even your low level narcissists too).

My personal belief is that there are other evils in the world too that mostly, we do not have to contend with as humans (so long as we avoid mad risks like witchcraft and odja boards). But evil people, we can at least learn to spot and try to avoid as best as possible.

I think if you seek to do good and be redeemed when you perhaps, stray from that path a little...then you are a good person. Because shitty people...never consider that they may be judged.

As for purpose...I don't think anyone has a fixed purpose. The purpose of life is just to live it. And, if we are of the light and not those other lot...to do good in the world where we can. Because to me-it is a war. And every kind act, offsets an evil one. But we are on the lower rungs of the ladder and as individuals and simple humans there's only so much we can do.

We also need to be kind and forgiving of ourselves. And reconsies we will neve have all the answers. The best thing we can do is just keep moving forwards, spreading warmth where possible and avoiding those who seek to drag us and others down into dark places.

My partner definitely feels like this and occasionally goes into a spiral about it. He was raised Catholic, and I think if you were brought up with religion filling some
hole in your life, it’s hard to cope without that.

i don’t feel like this — nothing is real, nothing to get hung about, is my life motto — but he finds that very depressing.

We're here to reproduce. Just like every other living thing.

What's the fucking point?

(I'm not depressed. It's just the conclusion I've reached after a lot of thought. )

I don't think life has a "purpose", and bad things happen because that is simply life.
Things are much simpler without a belief in god.

I wish I could do that - just recognise that we won't have all the answers, we have to give our own meaning to life. I do think that having a religious upbringing or some kind of religious framework leaves these lingering thoughts and doubts, even if you leave the faith as an adult.

There’s no point or purpose to life. Nothing you do ultimately matters because you will be dead. And so will everyone you know and love.

So stop wasting your time alive pontificating and over thinking about things that really don’t matter. Just have a good life.

Thank you for this response, food for thought.

When I think of evil, I guess I'm thinking of in terms of - how does God allow it / resolve it / punish or redeem seriously damaged people who commit it. Can people who do seriously despicable things ever be redeemed, and if so, how...? These kind of thoughts keep me awake at night.

"Heaven and Hell" seem like childish concepts but my mind still wants to believe that there is some order, some final 'balancing of the scales' where God is going to put things right, it helps me cope.

I was brought up in an atheist/agnostic household and have never believed in god. I am not frightened by the idea of death and am quite happy with life not having a purpose. In fact I'm glad it doesn't! I don't really believe in good vs evil either, in the Biblical, eternal struggle between light and dark kind of way. There are people who do bad things and people who do good things. Most people are somewhere in the middle. When they die, they will just die and be gone - no balancing needed, no cosmic scales exist.

The reason this keeps you awake at night is probably because you are trying to see order where there is none, trying to find underlying meaning where there is none, just as humans have always tried to, ever since they pointed up at the sun and created a god to explain what they didn't understand.

@Fairislefandango well said.

honestly I think if you can’t sleep at night worrying about good vs evil then you might need to see a counsellor as that’s not normal and is harming your health

I ask a lot of big questions and I’m not religious! So you’re not alone there x

”Heaven and Hell" seem like childish concepts but my mind still wants to believe that there is some order, some final 'balancing of the scales' where God is going to put things right, it helps me cope.

It may seem depressing at first to realise that there is no God and that the search for God is just a moral imperative within us.

But then if you think about it, for the majority of us the need for a God comes from a desire to do good, to connect with others and to reward those who deserve it. So the good is already within us. No God needed.

Darwin believed that the basis for social altruism was in the initial love a mother felt for her child.

I think that’s better than believing in God.

I believe that we have a spirit & that we will experience many bodily lives before our spirit has learnt all the lessons it needs to & has become strong & devine & so no longer needs to exist outside the spirit world. I don't believe in one solitary god but instead a group of perfect devine mature spirits that we will answer to when we die & who will work with us to better ourselves. When life gets tough these beliefs see me through. It also helps that I have a daughter in the spirit world, her love & messages help me greatly & give me hope.

Do you pray? Even something short like Jesus help? Or a Hail Mary (caveat I am Catholic) If I’m struggling this helps. I also ask my guardian Angel to give me the help I need - this always helps in some way - not always how I expect but never in a bad way!

I disagree with that. The world does not revolve around you and just because you will (eventually) be dead, doesn't mean that everything you've done was pointless.

Examine your questions OP.
There is bias within them, and
implicit ideas already assumed.
Sin and forgiveness is a religious question- and the basis of the whole christian faith.
I don't see myself as a sinner, flawed or imperfect needing redemption or forgiveness.
Same with your questions about why we are here, what our purpose is. Implicit in those
questions is the idea that we have a purpose and a reason for existence. So again these questions have bias,
the implication being that
we exist for a reason.
Step back a little and think about your questions.
Do we need a reason to exist? Who would grand such a reason?
Asking questions like these you are inside an echo chamber of religion and likely to only hear religious answers.

Is there a church near you which runs something like a Christianity Explored or an Alpha course? Those are really good places to discuss those kinds of questions.

No one knows the answers. Some believe there’s no purpose - that we’re just randomly here for no reason and then we die and that’s it.

Others believe a god created everything and we will meet him at the pearly gates when it’s all over.

Others (and science) believe that consciousness isn’t created by the brain/body, rather that consciousness creates the body and everything that it perceives and the brain acts as a transmitter. If this is true then that would mean that consciousness persists beyond death as it isn't a bodily function.

I agree that there are no answers. Maybe that's what I'm struggling with, I feel compelled to look for them.

I've never heard a scientific or non-religious say that consciousness persists beyond death. How can it? Brain death has to be the end of all consciousness, I understand that. But I struggle to accept it.

Well if you read research and literature surrounding the origins of consciousness you will see the theories that many scientists are going with and that’s that consciousness doesn’t arise from the brain and therefore cannot die when the brain dies. There’s a few neuroscientists who have been studying it at great length:

Dr Peter Fenwick

Sir Roger Penrose

Dr Bernard Baars

Dr Giulio Tononi

Theres many more scientists and lots out there.

The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem:

“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”
What do people gain from all their labors
at which they toil under the sun?
Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.
All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,
“Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.
No one remembers the former generations,
and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow them.
Ecclesiastes 1:1-11

You are not alone in your search for answers @PurpleSky300.

Remember your Creator
in the days of your youth,
before the days of trouble come
and the years approach when you will say,
“I find no pleasure in them”—
before the sun and the light
and the moon and the stars grow dark,
and the clouds return after the rain;
when the keepers of the house tremble,
and the strong men stoop,
when the grinders cease because they are few,
and those looking through the windows grow dim;
when the doors to the street are closed
and the sound of grinding fades;
when people rise up at the sound of birds,
but all their songs grow faint;
when people are afraid of heights
and of dangers in the streets;
when the almond tree blossoms
and the grasshopper drags itself along
and desire no longer is stirred.
Then people go to their eternal home
and mourners go about the streets.

Remember him—before the silver cord is severed,
and the golden bowl is broken;
before the pitcher is shattered at the spring,
and the wheel broken at the well,
and the dust returns to the ground it came from,
and the spirit returns to God who gave it.

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

Ecclesiastes 12:1-7 & 13-14

At the same time, I can't bring myself to believe in miracles and the supernatural and eternity floating on a cloud either.

It's worth considering what the supernatural actually is. So, if we understand a phenomenon fitting within a mechanism/system within the natural world we deem it 'natural'. Anything which does not seem to follow these 'laws' we deem 'supernatural'. However, we only understand a small portion of these mechanisms/systems. There is a whole portion of systems we don't understand which might even only come into affect under very specific circumstances. Still natural? Or supernatural? To all outside appearances they might seem supernatural or miraculous. The very specific circumstances interest me. How are they orchestrated?

If you were to view the whole universe like a body with lots of parts that can act independently and in unison with each other even symbiotically as host to lots of other micro-organisms then the idea of an overriding orchestrator (like the brain is to a body) of God does not seem so unusual. When the separate parts do not act in harmony for the good of the body there is death and disease. Suffering. All the while we are alive separate cells reproduce and die but we are still alive as an organism.

So the worry about what is natural or supernatural does not concern me. I don't think we have the perspective to truly determine what this is.

'Floating on a cloud'? is not something that concerns me either. It does not surprise me if people were to see visions or phenomenon in the sky...people have for centuries.

I see Heaven as harmonious, being in harmony with God.

Also supported by accounts of near death experiences, where people have been clinically "dead"/no brain function, yet their consciousness has continued to exist. They often provide lots of evidence, such as having heard and seen things while "dead", later verified by the living people who were there.