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Original poster

Regular church-goers: how do you manage to get to church/mass every Sunday morning??

32 replies

Countingthegreyhairs · 07/01/2008 21:18

Just a practical question really.

We're RC and despite good intentions, we only manage to get to church once every two or three weeks. Admittedly, sometimes we have missed mass because one of us has been ill, but generally (and I know this sounds terrible) it's because we are so busy every other morning that we find we really need to have one "calm" morning a week that doesn't involve rushing out early.

Saturdays are always chock-a-block and dh travels abroad most weeks (often to different time zones) and consequently likes to catch up with a bit of sleep on Sunday mornings too. (He's not being lazy - he works long, long hours - and helps at home alot when he is here too.)

I know mass should be more of a priority for us but in reality it's not happening.
One of my New Year's resolutions is to try to ensure that we get to mass regularly. I'd really appreciate knowing how you all manage this?

OP posts:
BeeEm · 07/01/2008 21:21

Hekpfully our church does an afternoon family service. 5.15 with tea and cake and lots of children so i don't get looks when they get restless. no help at all to your q though

morningpaper · 07/01/2008 21:22

Do you have to drive to church? We only walk so it doesn't really feel like much effort. We just go every Sunday, it's what we do. I find it quite a calming activity (read 'boring' )

DD who is 5 goes to the Sunday school and I juggle the 2 year old. Usually one of us takes DD to Sunday School and then sits in church (half an hour peace) and then the other brings the two year old in for the 'last half'

Then home and off to Wetherspoons a delicious home-cooked Sunday roast

LilRedWG · 07/01/2008 21:26

I would like to go more, but must admit that DD (19 months) is very hard work in church and although most people there are fantastic about her insisting I walk everywhere with her and her shouts of dissent during prayers, I still feel really awkward. I'm still recovering from the Christmas Eve service, where every other child was an angel and DD was loud and proud of it!

whateverhappened · 07/01/2008 21:28

well, we manage most weeks but not every week. Our church has children's liturgy, which lets pre-schoolers in, so I only go if that is on - can't cope with ds (2!) during a full mass! I go loaded up with raisins, toy cars and workbooks. It's a 10.30 start, so it works out ok for us. We've usually managed our frantic dashing about earlier..

ScienceTeacher · 07/01/2008 21:30

Our service starts at 11am, so that gives us a 3 or 4 hour lie-in.

ScienceTeacher · 07/01/2008 21:30

Our service starts at 11am, so that gives us a 3 or 4 hour lie-in.

morningpaper · 07/01/2008 21:31

The priest is fine if I go in after the bidding prayers, i.e. during the collection at the start of the eucharistic prayer - that's about 25 mins and he is fine with that

Obviously I spend some quiet time making an act of contrition at home

LilRedWG · 07/01/2008 21:34

I may try that MP. The serivce starts at 10am and lasts an hour. I may try getting there about half way through and see how DD does - she may be better if things are in full swing.

Rhubarb · 07/01/2008 21:37

It's a routine. We get up on a Sunday, have breakfast and then the kids pick a book they want to take to Church. The service is at 10am. We don't have to rush.

After Church we get the Sunday papers and sweets for the kids, then have a relaxing afternoon.

Once you get a routine established it'll be much easier.

evenhope · 07/01/2008 21:44

Ours is at 11am too and a 2-3 minute walk.

ernest · 07/01/2008 21:49

Just go every single week without fail. I think it's harder to maintain if you let it slip every other week. Find a servise that fit's in with your family. My dh atm lives in Milan, and tends to go back on a Sunday pm, so I'll go with the boys to a Sunday evening service. So we say goodbye to daddy, have a snack, then go. That's our Sunday pm. But occasionally, like during the last couple of weeks Christmas holiday the Sunday evening service didn't work. We knew in advance it wouldn't, so go to a 2nd back up service, which is on a Saturday evening.

I'd advise finding out the times of the masses in several local churches find the mass (time and 'style') that suits your family best, then stick religiously as it were to it. Know in advance which one you will attend, and have a back up alternative in mind.

How old is dc? I find mine attend fine evry week. If for whatever reason we miss one, then the following week it's more of a struggle. Make it a non-negotiable part of your week.

Good luck.

I also find having a regular time the day or so before to read throught the up coming gospel etc is helpful. It's sort of a warm up, and also helps you to focus during the mass, and if there are distractions you still know what's going on.

Rhubarb · 07/01/2008 21:49

The more you take your dd to church the more accustomed she'll get of it. Our ds used to be a nightmare too, he'd screech and shout and crawl under benches - he used to time his poos to coincide with mass too - but now he's fine and pretty much well-behaved. He takes a book to read or some colouring to do.

Would your priest not think about setting up a Children's Liturgy?

LilRedWG · 07/01/2008 21:52

It is a CofE church and they do have a family service once a month where the children do not go to Sunday School, but are instead in the church for the whole hour. The sad thing is, there are so few young children attending that you can hardly tell the difference.

I think I'm just have to going to be brave, sit near the back so DD can wander about and take a book for her.

MaryBS · 07/01/2008 21:59

I wasn't always so conscientious, but I now couldn't imagine NOT going, as going to church on a Sunday is so much part of me and what I do. 3 years ago, it was more a case of, "I'm not doing anything else, I really should go to church", and generally went, like you do, every 2-3 weeks. I even go on holiday now, seeking out the church times before we go.

My husband isn't a Christian so he generally gets left at home (and told to put the roast in!).

ernest · 07/01/2008 22:02

LilRedWG , try being 1 step braver - I found my dcs behave much better in the very front row and they have a good view of what's going on. Far more interesting than staring at the back of someone's head.

I'm very lucky atm. The Sunday pm mass I've discovered is very small and intimate, and the priest loves the children attending and even invites the all up to the altar and gives them little jobs to do, like pouring the wine into the chalice or pouring the water over his hands, and they all hold hands during the Our Father. The kids love having an active role and he sometimes brings an acordian and plays the music himself. Really fun mas. And he's remarkably tolerant of my ds3's antics. Honestly it's the only time I am actively glad he's teeny for his age. I reckon everyone would be horrified at his behaviour, but as he has an angelic face and looks about 2 (he's 4) he gets away with murder. Am gutted to be moving away in the summer. I doubt I'll find another mass as good as this one.

be brave head for the front. At least you won't be able to see any disapproving looks

calzone · 07/01/2008 22:04

Go regularly. Routine is everything and the children will know it is important and maybe get themselves ready. 'Come on mum - church today' sort of thing! I live in hope!!

Take stuff for the children like sticker books and raisins.

If they are happy you can relax in peace and not feel rushed and be peaceful while you listen.

Milliways · 07/01/2008 22:06

Ours starts at 10:30 but I play in the music group so often have to be there at 9:45, get home about 12:30!

It's a rush but it's worth it. We always have a roast in the oven to come home to.

It's like school - you just get there in time once its routine.

LilRedWG · 07/01/2008 22:06

I'll see how brave I feel next time Ernest. They do have a little play area at the side of the church for littlies but DD gets bored there - I think you may be right and she wants to see more.

hermionegrangerat34 · 07/01/2008 22:13

We have to go as its my job!!
Second the going to the front idea, that works very well for dh with our two. Also worth finding a church VERY near (so you can roll out of bed, into clothes, and walk into the first hymn 5 mins later). Current church has good kids activities; previously, rice cakes and drawing paper kept them fairly occupied. Also they like the music - another reason for sitting near the front is it tends to be near the organ and the vibrations seem to have a calming effect (if you have an organ).
But on the logistics of sheer getting there - we make Saturday our lie in and cooked breakfast day. Sunday we lie in bed and read stories etc (or tell kids to watch TV!!), but as someone else said, if we lie in til 9 that's a two hour lie in so still not bad. Then just go! And you could always try alternating going on your own and leaving dh at home - or even make a habit of letting him have the lie in while you take the kids to church, in exchange for, e.g., him cooking the breakfast and giving you a lie in on Saturday?

SueBaroo · 07/01/2008 22:36

Routine and the enormous weight of my childrens desire to be there. Their disappointment is crushingly otherwise.

Original poster
Countingthegreyhairs · 07/01/2008 23:48

Gosh thank you so much for all the responses - much appreciated - the clear consensus is that 'routine' is key here. I can see that makes sense too - the more one gets in to the swing of it every week - the less stressful it becomes ... . another reason I think I let it slip is because dd (4.5 yrs) is very tired at the moment (first winter at school) and we're both finding the going a bit tough ... but there's a 9.30 fairly close to us and 11.30 a little bit further away (although neither are walkable)so no excuses really ...

Saturday mornings = early dance class so no lie-ins possible there. Can anyone remember what the current RC ruling is on Saturday evening mass? Does that still count as fulfilling the requirement to attend weekly? Dd's a bit young for an evening service right now but could be a good solution later on.

lol MP re Wetherspoons!!

am impressed by your dc SueBaroo!!

Thanks again. It's good to hear positive experiences about children and church for once!!

OP posts:
ernest · 08/01/2008 06:21

Yes, Saturday evening is considered the 1st mass of Sunday and fulfills the sunday obligation.

MaryBS · 08/01/2008 07:30

Yes, Saturday evening counts as the first mass of Sunday.

I can sympathise with the struggle. DS is 6 and has Asperger's. I am still trying to break him of the habit where he says at the top of his voice "is it time to go home yet?". 3 Sundays out of the month though, he is in Sunday club, which he enjoys going to, fortunately. Some Sundays he just doesn't want to go, and wants to stay home and play trains - on these days, unless he is likely to get REALLY upset, we don't break the routine and still go to church, because routine is so important for him.

Original poster
Countingthegreyhairs · 12/01/2008 00:15

Thank you again (sorry only just come back to this thread). You lot put me to shame! Will try and turn over a new leaf this w/e!

OP posts:
LoveAngel · 15/01/2008 04:03

We manage most weeks ( my husband and our DS are RC). It's hard work with our DS (almost 3, not in the least bit interested in standing still or being quite during Mass...argh!), but our church has Sunday services at 9am, 10.15 and midday, so we can play it by ear each week and match how we're feeling/how things are going with DS/other plans for the weekend as to which Mass we go to. Also, if it looks like one of us is struggling (ill, tired, DS playing up etc) we have a 'last resort' rule that at least one member of the family should go and 'represent' in church. Saturday evening Mass counts as Sunday Mass, too, remember. Can be quite a good time to go if you can get your LO asleep in the buggy beforehand :-)