Need to find God

Summerof74 · 2021-12-06T09:26:54+00:00

So, I grew up a catholic and have pretty much shunned the Catholic Church since been a teenager saying God does not exist etc and would not get my kids baptised much to the dismay of my parents. However, my mum died last year and since then I feel drawn to church and God. I don't know if it is God or something else spiritual such as the universe and source. I keep reading Eckhart Tolle 'A new earth' and the bible comparisons resonate so much! I just feel confused. It's like I really want to believe in God but something is holding me back. How do I get my faith back? I live near a Christian church (not catholic) and I feel in awe of it when I walk past! It seems that everyone around me are atheists. Typical sayings! Can't be a God due to suffering. I understand we need to suffer to become enlightened but I just feel mixed up. Do I just let God guide me?

Wotsitsits · 06/12/2021 09:30

Well for starters it's no one's business what your faith is. You are allowed to explore without fear of judgement.

NannyR · 06/12/2021 09:36

What about calling in to a church during the week when there isn't a service going on and just have some quiet time to soak up the peace and the atmosphere.
Christmas is a good time of year to try out a church with "no strings attached", there will be lots of services and events going on and lots of people attending that only go to church at Christmas.

Rayn · 06/12/2021 14:29

Thanks. I think that's a good idea to bob in.

You are right it is no one else's business but mine! Will go on My day off and let you know how I get on!

SantasGoodLittleGirl · 06/12/2021 14:32

Best prayer.. 'Nudge me gently in Your ways, O Lord.'

ZenNudist · 06/12/2021 14:39

Name change? I think you have to ignore other people and do your own thing. Lots of people explore the spiritual side of life. It's hard when the person poking fun at you is your inner voice!!! Or at least this happened with me.

I did the same as you and disowned Catholicism but came back to it by chance (or grand design, something like that).

I recommend going to a mass and seeing how it sits with you. For me mass evoked some very strong feelings. It was hard reconnecting with the faith. My priest really helped.

I think if you are drawn to nearby church give that one a throw. But don't reject the idea of Catholicism out of hand.

Also talking to God makes you feel a little silly At first but it's surprising when you get response. Asking for help exploring your faith or lack thereof is valid.

Prettyplac3 · 06/12/2021 14:40

I read something on this board once that I found inspiring to be, so I'll share (similar upbringing to you OP)
I say the Lord's Prayer daily. I try to say in slowly ( even in my head) and think about what I'm saying and what it might mean.

Then I pray thanks for all my blessings. Sometimes specific things and sometimes not. I pray for help in my belief, and say sorry for my doubts. And I say I live in hope, as we seem to be making such a mess of things as imperfect humans.
I have compassion for all things, but I am imperfect and can't make it right, and I try to take my small part in making my patch a slightly better place.
I'm trying to let go, and trust.

BiBabbles · 06/12/2021 14:51

I think it may be worth exploring and getting as specific as you can in what you are in awe of - the building? the community? their faith?

It may be worth exploring online services that are still going on in many places if you want to explore different faiths or denominations in private to dip a toe in without feeling judged.

Also, there are non-theist branches of some religious groups and open to all spaces with no creed that explore the value of religion. I have and know others who get a lot out of spaces dedicated to studying religious history & it's impact on culture or spaces like Friends Network [[https://nontheist-quakers.org.uk/]] when they want to connect and see value in certain religious concepts but the concept of an individualistic higher power or any specific representation of the divine doesn't quite click for them. I know plenty who connect to the idea of the divine, but not any of the ideas a religion puts forward for it.

BiBabbles · 06/12/2021 14:53

Not sure how it bungled like that. Let's try that link for the Non-theist friends network again: nontheist-quakers.org.uk/

SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend · 06/12/2021 14:56

It's lovely to read that you're going to just pop in. I have a friend who was raised Catholic (from a Catholic European country) but is in no way religious now who still takes comfort from sitting in a relatively empty church on her own.

The Catholic church I go to is very much of the motto 'Come and See' at the moment, so there are no expectations or obligations for anyone venturing in. That might be a useful phrase to look for as it's a bit more person centred and ready to meet you where you are rather than imposing dogma.

hivemindneeded · 06/12/2021 14:59

Why don't you go to a different type of church each week - Catholic, Anglo Catholic, Baptist, Quaker etc just to see which one best taps into your spiritual needs.

Courses like Alpha and Christianity Explained are designed precisely for people in your predicament.

FWIW, I think there is one God and all the religions are just different pathways to find God.

lazylinguist · 06/12/2021 15:09

It's not surprising to be drawn to religion in times of grief or uncertainty or to make sense of things - after all, that's pretty much what humans invented it for! Have you actually changed your mind and decided that you believe god exists after all though, OP. Or is this just seeking something to fill a hole in your life? Because wanting gid to exist can't actually make him exist...

witsendeverytime · 07/12/2021 09:23

I was raised Catholic too - my mum went to mass every day. I stopped going regularly in university.
When my children were born, my non believer husband said he was happy for them to be christened but he would not stand up and say anything he didn't believe in. Which gave me pause - I would have to vow that I would be bringing my children up in the Catholic faith. And I knew I could not commit to that.
When my husband died unexpectedly, it really brought my beliefs in to question. Was he in heaven if he didn't believe himself? Did I believe in a hereafter? I don't know. I really struggled with it all.
Now it's Christmas and I am drawn to the church (I am at Easter too). I haven't gone yet, but I have gone so far as to look up the times of mass.
Your faith is yours. It's no one else's concern. Take your time. You don't need an actual church to have faith, but it helps. I may get back there myself eventually.

SpasandStripes · 07/12/2021 09:29

It’s quite an easy time to check out some church services online. We’re still live streaming ours on YouTube for people who aren’t comfortable coming back at the moment. You could see if a local church is doing the same.

As other posters have said, it’s also very easy to pop in to a Christmas carol/or other service. There’ll be lots of visitors so if you want to stay anonymous you can test the atmosphere etc without being pounced on (in a nice way!).

Good luck.

Flutterflybutterby · 20/12/2021 09:40

Have you tried the Alpha course? It's an amazing, relaxed, lovely way to explore Christianity. A lot of churches do it online via zoom recently because of covid (not sure about in your area) so I'd google your church and find out when theirs is. It's really unintimidating and a nice environment just to chat and share as much or as little as you'd like! If you are feeling like this, don't ignore it.

ParishSpinster · 20/12/2021 09:59

Is this a need to find god, or a need to find comfort?

If you have been brought up in a religion, it is quite common to need to turn to it when you need comfort- the familiarity of process and ritual along with the hope that there is something "more" which religion can offer you.

It doesn't mean that you have to find faith in order to experience comfort. If you are an atheist it can be hard to find your way through death and bereavement, and I am very sorry for your loss.

My MIL died in the summer, and I know DH has had some comfort in his Catholic faith. I am an atheist and have had to tread carefully so as not to upset him with what he sees as my lack of faith.

But I am comforted by the knowledge that she lived, she was and is loved. And that the cycle of life continues.

ParishSpinster · 20/12/2021 10:03

Also, we do not need to suffer to be enlightened. Our life isn't better because we have suffered. Enlightenment isn't an end goal and it sounds a bit wooly to be of much use as a life motto.

Use sadness as a means to understand how much you love someone, if you need to have meaning. Use hard times to help you appreciate that things will be better and they were before, if you need to find a meaning in hardship.

Everyone is just doing their best and trying to find ways of comfort. I hope you find yours - if it is a re-examination of faith then I hope you find comfort in that, if it is continuing as an atheist then again I hope you find comfort too.

Memeandmeagain · 26/12/2021 18:24

The heart is searching for the for truth even though the mind might say otherwise.

The sincere advice would be to go and look into Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Atheism or any other that you like but, do come to Islam last. And if you do,

Start with the first chapter of the meaning of Qur’an in English (unless you know classical Arabic), which is only 7 verses and the first few verses of the second chapter.

This is the first chapter, which is recited in every single prayer without it a prayer is not valid.

In the name of Allah (God), the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
[All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord1 of the worlds -
The Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful,
Master of the Day of Judgment.
It is You we worship and You we ask for help.
Guide us to the straight path -
The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have earned [Your] anger or of those who are astray.

And the answer to the prayer is given in the second chapter:

Alif, Laam, Meem.
This is the Book about which there is no doubt, a guidance for those conscious of Allah (God),
Who believe in the unseen, establish prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them,
And who believe in what has been revealed to you, [O Muḥammad], and what was revealed before you, and of the Hereafter they are certain [in faith].
Those are upon [right] guidance from their Lord, and it is those who are the successful.
Indeed, those who disbelieve - it is all the same for them whether you warn them or do not warn them - they will not believe.
Allah has set a seal upon their hearts and upon their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. And for them is a great punishment.
And of the people are some who say, "We believe in Allah and the Last Day," but they are not believers.
They [think to] deceive Allah and those who believe, but they deceive not except themselves and perceive [it] not.

10. In their hearts is disease, so Allah has increased their disease; and for them is a painful punishment because they [habitually] used to lie. 11……

... And remember

"There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing." (Qur'an, chapter 2: 256)

Peace.

amoosee · 26/12/2021 18:40

@Memeandmeagain

The heart is searching for the for truth even though the mind might say otherwise.

The sincere advice would be to go and look into Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Atheism or any other that you like but, do come to Islam last. And if you do,

Start with the first chapter of the meaning of Qur’an in English (unless you know classical Arabic), which is only 7 verses and the first few verses of the second chapter.

This is the first chapter, which is recited in every single prayer without it a prayer is not valid.

In the name of Allah (God), the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
[All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord1 of the worlds -
The Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful,
Master of the Day of Judgment.
It is You we worship and You we ask for help.
Guide us to the straight path -
The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have earned [Your] anger or of those who are astray.

And the answer to the prayer is given in the second chapter:

Alif, Laam, Meem.
This is the Book about which there is no doubt, a guidance for those conscious of Allah (God),
Who believe in the unseen, establish prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them,
And who believe in what has been revealed to you, [O Muḥammad], and what was revealed before you, and of the Hereafter they are certain [in faith].
Those are upon [right] guidance from their Lord, and it is those who are the successful.
Indeed, those who disbelieve - it is all the same for them whether you warn them or do not warn them - they will not believe.
Allah has set a seal upon their hearts and upon their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. And for them is a great punishment.
And of the people are some who say, "We believe in Allah and the Last Day," but they are not believers.
They [think to] deceive Allah and those who believe, but they deceive not except themselves and perceive [it] not.

10. In their hearts is disease, so Allah has increased their disease; and for them is a painful punishment because they [habitually] used to lie. 11……

... And remember

"There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing." (Qur'an, chapter 2: 256)

Peace.

What to you get out of bumping threads to push your religion on Christmas Eve? Do you think anyone will convert or does it just make you feel superior?

pantherrose · 26/12/2021 18:59

Would recommend having a chat with the pastor at your nearest Baptist church. In my experience, usually lovely people, relaxed, welcoming and not at all ‘Happy clappy’ !

CoconutQueen · 26/12/2021 19:04

Look for an Alpha course. Would really recommend - they are very welcoming and warm, and exactly aimed at people questioning what you are questioning and searching for meaning that is right for you.

Home06 · 26/12/2021 19:19

It sounds to me that God is already working in your life, drawing you to him.
Why not try a service at the church you mentioned?
Or look at the websites for some of the bigger London churches. All Souls, Holy Trinity Brompton etc.
They will have online services that you can check out. They might have an online Christianity Explored or Explained or Alpha that you could join.
Christmas is a good time to be thinking about this.

Memeandmeagain · 26/12/2021 21:38

@amoosee, I am truly lost for word. I don't know what to say without coming across as rude?

All I'll say is, you reread your post again and correct your incorrect assertions.

There's nothing factual in your post.

I'm tempted to say you don't understand what you read.

Let's leave it at that.

Peace.

amoosee · 27/12/2021 13:02

I was just wondering about your motivation.

Moonmelodies · 30/12/2021 16:46

@Memeandmeagain

The heart is searching for the for truth even though the mind might say otherwise.

The sincere advice would be to go and look into Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Atheism or any other that you like but, do come to Islam last. And if you do,

Start with the first chapter of the meaning of Qur’an in English (unless you know classical Arabic), which is only 7 verses and the first few verses of the second chapter.

This is the first chapter, which is recited in every single prayer without it a prayer is not valid.

In the name of Allah (God), the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.
[All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord1 of the worlds -
The Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful,
Master of the Day of Judgment.
It is You we worship and You we ask for help.
Guide us to the straight path -
The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have earned [Your] anger or of those who are astray.

And the answer to the prayer is given in the second chapter:

Alif, Laam, Meem.
This is the Book about which there is no doubt, a guidance for those conscious of Allah (God),
Who believe in the unseen, establish prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them,
And who believe in what has been revealed to you, [O Muḥammad], and what was revealed before you, and of the Hereafter they are certain [in faith].
Those are upon [right] guidance from their Lord, and it is those who are the successful.
Indeed, those who disbelieve - it is all the same for them whether you warn them or do not warn them - they will not believe.
Allah has set a seal upon their hearts and upon their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. And for them is a great punishment.
And of the people are some who say, "We believe in Allah and the Last Day," but they are not believers.
They [think to] deceive Allah and those who believe, but they deceive not except themselves and perceive [it] not.

10. In their hearts is disease, so Allah has increased their disease; and for them is a painful punishment because they [habitually] used to lie. 11……

... And remember

"There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing." (Qur'an, chapter 2: 256)

Peace.

He sounds neither entirely nor especially merciful, if he increases people's disease and dishes out painful punishments.

mordinvasnormandy · 30/12/2021 17:28

I wonder who @Memeandmeagain is trying to convince with their talk of diseased hearts.