Does your church team support you practically?

[Sangham]

Say if you needed a helping hand, struggling with a small child,unable to reach to get something from a loft etc

I'm only using these as examples. My elderly aunt is devoted to her church and tithes if that's the word for it ,is involved in it all (precovid times).

She has struggled with things in the past, eg she might have put on the prayer chain that shes struggling to say walk her dog due to a swollen ankle. All they say is " oh how frustrating for you,I'll pray for healing/ Gods grace etc etc.

Would it not be more Christian to offer to help walk the dog?! Or am i just totally missing what it's all about.

What do you " expect "of your church? Is praying enough?

Of course praying isn’t enough. I don’t go to church anymore. Lots of reasons, but one was the amount of time I was expected to donate to church- clean the church monthly (I had a cleaner for my own house), help at the play group, help at kids church. I worked, DH worked

Oops too soon, and we had small kids. I had no time.
I have been to churches in the past that are extremely practical, but more and more these days people won’t help because either they are busy or they are worried about getting sued.
Society has changed so much and the church hasn’t really kept up. When I was growing up most mums didn’t work, so they could do lots of churchy stuff and lots of the dads worked 9-5, so had evening time, and people just didn’t go away at weekends so much, so were around more. People just have less time now.

But I completely agree, offer to walk the dog, take the child for an hour, make them a meal. Happens less and less.

If I have ever needed help I have asked directly for what I need rather than just asking to be added to the prayer list. It does help that a large proportion of our church are on Facebook for me to do so. I have never been let down yet, but then again I go out of my way to help others too.

Yes my church provides a lot of practical help - but you have to ask for it. I split with my husband back in February when I caught him having an affair and my church has provided with me with so much practical help as well as prayer support. I had people drop food round in the early days and look after the kids to give me some space. Since then they've helped me to redecorate and build new furniture, provided tech support online (learning how to do all the techy bits my husband used to do), driven me places when I've been stuck, picked the kids up from school when I've needed to be elsewhere and most of all been a listening ear when needed etc. Our church is a community and we all help each other out when needed. Its a real shame if hers are not helping. Has she asked them if there is any one who would be free to walk the dog? I'm sure someone would volunteer if the question was directly asked.

Is your mums church mainly an elderly community? Is she part if a house group?
I go to a large modern church with a wide age range and they have helped me practically. After I had a baby I didn't have to cook for weeks as people brought me round meals. I had people come round when I had PND.

Yes people have emptied my loft prior to moving house, cleaned the church ahead of my wedding and fed my family for two weeks after I had a baby. The food thing is a bit of a tradition following the birth of a baby so you don’t have to ask for that, but everything else you have to ask for, and be specific about what you need.

My church is running a food bank that just started in the local area but covers the whole town now.

Thanks for the responses, she does or did go to a housegroup. I think the congregation is quite a mixed group but it all seems to be " take" rather than give. Maybe I'm just cynical.
I dont think she likes asking directly, but then I would've thought someone would jump in and offer but that never ever happens.
I know they have helped find accommodation for a refugee family in a fantastic area,furnish their house, get kids into schools, raise money for them to get visits from their families. Which is phenomenal, it really is. This family dont go to this church anymore though....

Not sure what I'm trying to say here, but it just feels that they neglect the faithful ones.

It sounds like you think your mum puts her money in so should get help without asking?
She needs to speak up if she needs help, not just prayers.
If she puts it on a prayer chain with out asking for actual help, folks are going to pray for her.

@Seafog nope its definitely not that, nothing to do with money she puts in so she expects a return. Shes totally selfless, it's me who's thinking that they could actually step up every so often.

You re probably right though,about spelling it out to them. I just think from my own pov, if I read that someone couldnt get out etc, I'd be calling them up saying yes I will pray but...do you need me to DO anything????

But I guess it doesnt work that way..

@travelmad that sounds amazing. That would I guess be my idea of what a church should/ would do.

OP, why don’t you drop the minister an email and ask him if he can help -say your mum doesn’t like to ask

@Giantsfallover well that's a thought, I guess I could do.

Depends on the church I think. My mother has neen a member of many churches over the years,
Catholic, Pentacostal, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Mormon and Baptist.

Of those the Mormon church has been the most supportive to her in difficult times.

I have made it really clear to the congregation that if they need help they have to tell someone what they need. I repeat this frequently. We are a medium sized church but even so it is hard to keep track of who is ill, who is frail, who has hospital appointments etc. Mostly they are fantastic at supporting each other but it is so hard to judge it. I was told that one elderly lady was getting very depressed so I found an excuse to knock on her door. Everything is fine apparently. Can't win but I did try.

They would if I needed it.

My faith group locally is pretty good about offering mutual support. We don't always get it right, and we do sometimes miss when someone needs help but appears fine, but we do try. I have been quite ill recently and have had a number of surprise phone conversations from other people offering practical help as well as a friendly voice.

Yes very much so. We all support each other, practically, emotionally and spiritually.
So important in these uncertain times.

Yes, mine is a wonderful community who help one another out practically all the time, and also help people in the community out and anyone who asks - they don't have to be a member of church as such (for eg we helped a single mum get set up in a flat with furniture we sourced etc.) But people do need to ask or they might slip through the cracks. My dh is the vicar and always says he can't read minds. Someone got really upset with him because he hadn't visited them in hospital and they were there for 2 weeks, but he had no idea they were in hospital...

So yes, do encourage your mum to ask. If we're asked there is a stampede of offers to help. Dh asked for a walker for someone who'd broken their hip the other week and we had about 20 offers of walkers - but it's the more practical stuff too. We also do the 2 week baby meals and we do that for people who are ill or just need it, but again we need to know about it...

I guess some churches have that ethos more than others but as far as I am concerned it should be at the very centre of church community OP. Hope your mum is ok