Talking about being a Christian

[AnotherSliceOfCake]

Hi, I'm a single lady in my thirties and have started being a practising Christian after 20 years of being a lapsed Catholic. The thing I am struggling with is that I find it really difficult to talk about being a Christian or going to church with most people i know. I do have a couple of Christian friends and could happily talk about it with them but I feel like a lot of people I meet could't understand wanting to go to church at all and I'm kind of scared of the topic coming up in conversation. I guess I'm very aware that we live in a very secular culture and people might think you're a bit of an oddball. I know it shouldn't matter what people think but I already struggle a lot with feelings of not fitting due to lacking confidence and being more introverted than most. It's not that I want to bring it up in everyday conversation, it's more that I'm embarassed to talk about it if someone asks me.

I am sure you are not alone! I have found it easier than I expected. If people ask me what I did at the weekend, I can say 'church'. Most people don't ask much more, a couple ask where I go to church. Honestly, that's about it - nothing too scary.

I find this really difficult as well. I'm glad to know it's not just me. I'm not very articulate about it at all.

That’s probably ok isn’t it? You don’t have to talk about it. Or does your church say you should be sharing the good news?

Rereading your op I see that I misunderstood. If it comes up in conversation then maybe people are interested and won’t be judgemental?

I am a dedicated non-believer, but have friends who have a faith (including Christians) and am very glad to have friends from different walks of life. Please don't feel embarrased!

My closest friends are Christians and in real life (as opposed to social media) most of my acquaintances know that I am a practising Christian so I have no problem about talking about my faith or the church although I do not spend my time preaching to them or Bible bashing.

But on social media it is a bit different. I will happily post a status sharing a thought or a Scripture verse but don't want to put myself in a position where I am arguing with someone who does not believe in God. In FB groups where it is appropriate I might mention that I go to church (What's everyone doing tomorrow? type discussions) but that's as far as it goes.

If someone posts something that is deeply offensive to me as a Christian I scroll past. If they post something that I don't think reflects the Christian message - for instance suggesting that Christians believe if you have tattoos you will go to Hell - I will disagree but try to do it in a positive way.

I think we have to earn the right to "share the good news" by building relationships and showing what it means to be a Christian by our actions as well as our words. I think @SerenadeOfTheSchoolRun makes a really good point. Often people ask about what you believe or where you go to church because they have questions that they want answered and a friend is the best person to help.

Thanks everyone who has replied. It's confirmed to me that I should probably not worry so much about what people think. I really like the idea of showing what it means to be a Christian through our actions rather than words, and it's helpful to have the reassurance that just doing that is okay and also that I'm not the only one who struggles with this!

I am a practicing Christian and only mention it if it comes up. Not embarrassed but also don't need to over share my life.

If someone says what are you up to at the weekend and I have been to church then I may mention it but I would only really discuss what it means to me with true close friends who even as non Christians would understand me

If the opportunity is there to discuss the gospel, then I wouldn't pass it up. I do understand how you feel about others seeing you as odd if you mention it, but I think they will respect you whatever your beliefs are.

I know how you feel. Talking about faith made me feel uncomfortable when I came back to the church after a loooong time away. I wasnt used to being a believer and I was cynical. I find its good for me to 'stand up and be counted' so if asked a direct question I will answer truthfully I won't hide my faith. I mention going to church or other religious activities casually if it's relevant to the conversation. I talk about interests like "I like singing hymns" or "Im mostly reading theology books right now". I've been known to answer a scoffing or laughing "you don't believe in all that?" type challenge with a calm factual affirmation of my faith. I dont get drawn into arguments. I dont preach. I do pray for my friends that they will come to know God. If never tell them that!!

Living a contented Christian life is a good form of evangelism.

Reading up on Christian apologetics could help your under stand your own faith in case you ever want to explain it to others. Tim Keller "The Reason for God" helped me.

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere, that's the way I conduct myself as a Christian too. Although I find it very hard to grasp why some people get downright hostile about something they purport not to believe in. They are all for tolerance/acceptance/open mindedness. But Christians are not welcome. Drives me crazy.

@Ruminating2020

If the opportunity is there to discuss the gospel, then I wouldn't pass it up. I do understand how you feel about others seeing you as odd if you mention it, but I think they will respect you whatever your beliefs are.

You are exactly the reason why people are wary of being friends with Christians and non preachy Christians are worried about the response they will get.

I've had more than one 'friend' try to convert me, in fact I was building a friendship with one person who immediately dumped me when she realised I would never go to her church.

I would say to be honest about who you are, I have some amazing Christian friends who I respect a lot.

We are living in a post-Christian culture and many people have the strangest conceptions of who Christians are and what we believe. My husband and I are Catholic and we know a lot of very smart, intellectual Catholics. I don't bring up my faith but I don't deny it either. At the very least people should realize not to assume anything about anyone. For me the theology of Christianity that teaches we are all equal and precious children of God helps me have a positive and hopeful outlook when surrounded by cynicism and pessimism.

I have always had plenty of friends who are atheist and my best friends respect me as I respect them. The fact that my husband is a Neurologist means he easily challenges our teens with any shallow ideas of what Christians believe and that there is no conflict between science and faith. (As I am sitting here he is discussing the differences between morphine and other opiates and endorphins and their molecules with our 17 yr old dd).

In Catholicism evangelism is not a narrow idea of giving a persuasive speech and expecting people to "give their lives to Christ" it is revealing your love of God and your relationship with Christ in all you do and who you are. It's not a moment in time, we believe everyone already has the presence of God within them and also that respecting others free will is essential. Every year people join classes in our parish to become Catholic and they decide to do that for a range of reasons but they never told me that it's because of some magic words someone said. Its often because of the witness of Catholic co-workers and people they know however. The "witness" has been who they are and how they live. Sometimes many encounters with different people over many years. Faith is about a relationship with God and being a disciple is relating to others in love.

I have actually had people approach me and ask if I am Catholic and if I could help them in various ways.

I also have some relatives who every time I meet them slag off the church and love to tell me how terrible Catholics are. I don't say anything other than explain things or agree when I think they are right. I just don't take it too personally.
It was extremely strange though when I found out they were disappointed that they weren't invited to celebrate our kids sacraments as they had always given me the impression that they hated everything about the church! So people can have a very mixed response.

I find people with other faiths are much easier to talk to for obvious reasons. Many people in the UK just don't understand the concept of faith - they can say very bizarre things. I am in the US now and its not so strange here. 24% of people are Catholic.

You need a thick skin and have some good Christian friends. I just laugh and say I am a rabid Catholic and people laugh. I just don't take myself too seriously and I know its not my job to convert anyone, that's for the Holy Spirit.

I find it very hard, because I have to hide part of myself in order not to upset other people. I’ve learnt over the years what can and can’t be said in “polite conversation”. It’s ok to talk about church, community, sometimes prayer, and volunteering. People who are interested or open to other views will ask questions and move the discussion forward, whereas others (like my family) will move on to the next topic as they “don’t do God”.

I love sharing what is going on in my spiritual life, but there is a time and a place and getting that balance in our culture is very hard. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but don’t be afraid. I have spent far too much of my life worrying about offending others purely by mentioning my faith.

I don't go out of my way to mention it, but if it comes up I will - most often just in practical terms e.g. we're not free Sunday morning because we'll be at church. I don't think anyone reasonable will judge you for it even if their own beliefs are completely different. You shouldn't feel you have to hide something that's part of your life.

I don't try to convert people though. I don't think that's very polite.

@Gingerkittykat

I am not sure why you think it is a bad thing if someone wants to talk about being Christian though. I know it's not everyone is comfortable about discussing religion and I don't and have never tried to force my beliefs on anyone. I have plenty of friends who from all religious backgrounds and I wouldn't reject anyone just because they weren't open to going to church.

If you think christians are persecuted try being a witch!